By Zheng Jie, China

In September 2023, the church arranged for Li Yang and me to work together to manage the watering work. Because we had both just started doing this duty and were not familiar with the work, the leaders asked Chen Lu to help us. Chen Lu introduced the work to us, telling us that we had to understand the situation of the waterers in every church, frequently follow up on the progress of the watering work, resolve the difficulties and problems of the waterers and newcomers, focus on watering and cultivating newcomers of good caliber, and promptly support and help the newcomers who were not attending gatherings regularly. Not only that, we also had to equip ourselves with truths regarding visions to improve the results of the watering work. After hearing this, I thought, “There are so many tasks to master, and we have to follow up on them in detail. It will definitely be time-consuming and laborious.” I felt pressured in my heart. However, I thought about how the church had arranged for me to do such an important duty. This was God’s grace and exaltation, and I felt very grateful. I could not let Him down. I had to rely on God in doing the work.

Since I was not familiar with the work, and needed to understand every aspect of the work in detail, sometimes I stayed up very late, but I still gave my all. Later, I realized that doing this duty well required a lot of time and effort. When the newcomers had problems or difficulties, they needed to be resolved promptly. Also, matters such as whether newcomers who weren’t gathering regularly were being supported promptly, what their caliber and comprehension of the newcomers was like, and how the cultivation of the newcomers was progressing, all needed to be followed up on and understood in detail. In order to complete these tasks well, Li Yang and I worked from dawn to dusk for several days on end. My head felt cloudy and heavy, and I had a slight headache, so I felt a little resistant in my heart. “Doing this duty is not only mentally tiring but also physically exhausting. It really isn’t easy to do this duty well! Previously I had only been watering people in the church, and hadn’t been responsible for overseeing the work. I didn’t worry so much, and I still had my own free time; it was relatively relaxed. Now, however, I am responsible for the watering work in so many churches, and it is much more worrisome and tiring than before.” The more I thought about it, the more repressed I felt. I didn’t want to do this duty anymore, and wanted to go back to being a waterer. I started to think about shirking my duty. In my mind, I calculated, “I’ll just say my caliber is poor and I cannot do the work. I haven’t been doing this duty for very long, and haven’t taken on much work, so it will be easier to hand things over after my duty is changed. If I take on all the work, it will be harder for me to propose a change of duty.” Therefore, I stopped being as diligent in doing my duty as before. I was slow in following up on the progress of watering the newcomers, and deliberately procrastinated and dragged things out so that the leaders would think that I was inefficient at working and not up to the duty. That way, they would agree to my resignation when I submitted it. At that time, Chen Lu was also following up on the work of several other churches, so Li Yang and I needed to quickly familiarize ourselves with the situation to take on the responsibilities that Chen Lu was handling. When Chen Lu told us about the situation in these churches, I was afraid that once I got a grasp of the situation and the responsibility for the work was passed onto me, it would be harder for me to resign. Therefore, I used being busy as an excuse not to familiarize myself with the work. Sometimes, I felt self-reproachful, and thought, “I should take on these tasks as soon as possible, but I haven’t hurried to take over the work because I wanted to spare myself from suffering and exhaustion. This is not protecting the work of the church! However, if I familiarize myself with these tasks, I won’t be able to leave and my flesh will suffer. In any case, if I don’t take it over, Li Yang will. Besides, Chen Lu is still working on this part-time, so it’s not like these tasks will be left with nobody to do them.” When I thought this, I stopped feeling self-reproachful. Later, I didn’t want to get involved when Li Yang and Chen Lu were discussing the work. I was just like an outsider. Even though I knew problems had arisen in the watering work, I didn’t try to think of ways to resolve it; all I was thinking about was how to leave as soon as possible. Because I still hadn’t grasped the situation of those churches, all the work fell on Li Yang. He couldn’t take care of everything by himself, and he sighed all day long due to the great pressure he was under. Only when I saw that Li Yang was in a bad state did I feel uncomfortable. I thought, “Li Yang’s bad state has to do with me. If I had been able to shoulder a burden and gain a little sense of responsibility, he wouldn’t have been so busy all on his own, and the results of the work would have improved. Now the results of the watering work are not good, and there are more and more newcomers who are not attending gatherings regularly. Newcomers with caliber are not being watered and cultivated in a timely manner, and their life entry is suffering loss. All this is evil that I committed!”

Afterward, I began to reflect on myself: Why was I so resistant to doing this duty? I thought about the words of God that expose how in doing their duty, people constantly choose light work and shrink from difficulty, and looked them up to read. God says: “When doing a duty, people always pick light work, work that isn’t tiring, and that does not involve braving the elements outdoors. This is picking easy jobs and shirking hard ones, and it is a manifestation of coveting the comforts of the flesh. What else? (Always complaining when their duty is a little hard, a little tiring, when it involves paying a price.) (Being preoccupied with food and clothing, and the pleasures of the flesh.) These are all manifestations of coveting the comforts of the flesh. When such a person sees that a task is too laborious or risky, they foist it off on someone else; they themselves only do leisurely work, and they make excuses, saying that they are of poor caliber, that they lack work capability, and cannot shoulder this task—when in fact, it is because they covet the comforts of the flesh. … No matter how busy the work of the church is or how busy their duties are, the routine and normal condition of their lives is never disrupted. They are never careless about any small details of the life of the flesh and control them perfectly, being very strict and serious. But, when dealing with the work of God’s house, no matter how great the matter and even if it might involve the safety of the brothers and sisters, they deal with it carelessly. They do not even care about those things that involve God’s commission or the duty they should do. They take no responsibility. This is indulging in the comforts of the flesh, is it not? Are people who indulge in the comforts of the flesh suitable for doing a duty? As soon as someone brings up the subject of doing their duty, or talks about paying a price and suffering hardship, they keep shaking their heads. They have too many problems, they are full of complaints, and they are filled with negativity. Such people are useless, they are not qualified to do their duty, and should be eliminated” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (2)). When I read this passage of God’s words, I was filled with self-reproach. What God exposed was exactly my state. When doing my duty, I always chose light work, and as soon as the work got laborious, I wanted to push it onto others while I did easy work. I even found excuses, saying that my caliber was poor, when in fact I just wanted to indulge in comfort. God says that such people have no submission or fear of God, and may abandon their duty at any time in order to indulge in comfort. They do not deserve to do duties, and should be eliminated. I thought back to everything I had done in my duties: After the leaders arranged for me to be a supervisor, as soon as I realized that I was responsible for a lot of churches, had a heavy workload, was busy every day, sometimes had to stay up late, and the duty was very mentally and physically exhausting, I thought that it was too laborious and tiring to do this duty every day, and thought about resigning for the comfort of my flesh. I was well aware that this duty was extremely important and that I should take up the work as fast as possible, but I was afraid that if I took on too much work, I wouldn’t be able to leave. Therefore, I deliberately procrastinated and was perfunctory, trying to show the leaders that my caliber was poor and that I wasn’t up to the job so they would agree to my resignation. When Chen Lu was helping us familiarize ourselves with the work, I deliberately pretended to be very busy and didn’t participate. As a result, all the work fell on Li Yang, causing him to be under great pressure and putting him in a bad state. There were more and more problems in the work, and the results of watering the newcomers were also not good. All this damage to the work of the church was caused by me indulging in comfort and picking easy tasks while shirking hard ones. The two previous supervisors had already delayed the watering work and were dismissed, and, at this critical juncture, the church had arranged for me to do this duty, which was God exalting me. I should have been considerate of His intentions and protected the work of the church. However, I had no conscience at all. As soon as there was a lot of work and my flesh couldn’t obtain comfort, I felt resistant, and tried every means to abandon my commission for an easier duty. I saw the work get delayed, but I didn’t protect it. I was so deceitful, wicked, and despicable! Actually, it wasn’t that I couldn’t do the work. Instead, the problem was that my nature was too selfish and I didn’t do the things I was capable of; I showed no loyalty to God at all, and was useless at the critical moment. I truly was good for nothing, unworthy of doing duties! When I understood this, my heart was filled with self-reproach and distress, and I prayed to God to lead me to rebel against the flesh and submit, and no longer be picky about my duty.

Later, I read a passage of God’s words and gained some understanding of my problem. God says: “What, then, is corrupt mankind’s outlook on life? It can be said to be this: ‘Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost.’ People all live for themselves; to put it frankly, they are living for the flesh. They are living just to put food in their mouths. How does this existence differ from that of the animals? There is no value whatsoever in living like this, let alone any meaning. One’s outlook on life is about what you rely on to live in the world, what you live for, and how you live—and these are all things to do with the essence of human nature. Through dissecting people’s natures, you will see that people all resist God. They are all devils and there is no genuinely good person. Only by dissecting people’s natures can you truly know the corruption and essence of man and understand what people actually belong to, what people truly lack, what they should be equipped with, and how they should live out a human likeness. Truly dissecting a person’s nature is not easy, and cannot be done without experiencing God’s words or having true experiences” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. What Should Be Known About Transforming One’s Disposition). After reading the words of God, I understood that satanic rules such as “Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost,” “Life is short, so enjoy it while you can,” and “Savoring wine and enjoying music, how much time does life truly offer?” had taken root in me and become my nature. Controlled by these thoughts and ideas, I took self-interest as my principle in everything I did, and only considered whether my flesh would be able to enjoy comfort or not. I believed that if my flesh did not suffer, that was a blessing. I would do anything that was beneficial to my flesh, and would not do anything that was not beneficial to it; I would never treat myself badly. When being responsible for the watering work required my flesh to suffer, I disliked the exhaustion and worry, and wanted to do a lighter duty. I was well aware that the watering work had been impacted, and that I should have familiarized myself with the work as fast as possible and shouldered the duties, but I was worried that if I took on the duties then it would be hard to resign, and so I stood by and watched the watering work be delayed, just like an outsider who didn’t care. That the church arranged for me to do this duty was God exalting me, but I constantly thought about shirking it. This led to poor results in the watering work and delayed the life growth of the newcomers. This was doing evil, resisting God, and was loathsome to Him!

I thought of God’s words: “That which you greedily enjoy today is the very thing that is ruining your future, whereas the pain you endure today is the very thing that is protecting you. You must be clearly aware of these things, so as to avoid falling prey to temptations from which you will be hard put to extricate yourself, and to evade blundering into the dense fog and being unable to find the sun. When the dense fog clears, you will find yourself amid the judgment of the great day” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. The Work of Spreading the Gospel Is Also the Work of Saving Man). “Man’s flesh is like the snake: Its substance is to harm his life—and when it completely gets its own way, your life becomes forfeit. The flesh is of Satan. There are always extravagant desires within it; it always thinks for itself, and it always desires ease and wants to indulge in comfort, lacking in anxiety and a sense of urgency, wallowing in idleness, and if you satisfy it to a certain point, it will ultimately devour you. Which is to say, if you satisfy it this time, it will ask you to satisfy it again next time. It always has extravagant desires and new demands, and takes advantage of your pandering to the flesh to make you cherish it even more and live among its comforts—and if you can never overcome it, you will ultimately ruin yourself. Whether you can gain life before God and what your ultimate outcome will be, depend on how you practice your rebellion against the flesh. God has saved you and chosen you and predestined you, yet if today you are unwilling to satisfy Him, you are unwilling to put the truth into practice, you are unwilling to rebel against your own flesh with a genuine God-loving heart, ultimately you will ruin yourself, and will thus endure extreme pain. If you always pander to the flesh, Satan will gradually swallow you up, and leave you without life, or the touch of the Spirit, until the day comes when you are completely dark inside. When you live in darkness, you will have been taken captive by Satan, you will no longer have God in your heart, and at that time you will deny God’s existence and leave Him” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Only Loving God Is Truly Believing in God). From God’s words, I saw that if you constantly cherish the flesh and indulge in fleshly comforts, then you will gradually be devoured by Satan. In the end, all such people will be condemned and eliminated by God. I realized that I was in grave danger. I thought back to when I first started to do this duty. I still had some willingness to show consideration for God’s intentions, and when I was being negative and perfunctory, I felt some self-reproach. Later, when I was trapped in the flesh, I only thought about how to avoid suffering and exhaustion of the flesh and wanted to resign as soon as possible to change to another duty. I deliberately worked slowly and pretended to be incompetent, afraid that I would not be able to quit my duty if I did my work well. Ultimately, this led to various problems in the watering work, and the life entry of the newcomers was seriously harmed. Although my flesh was satisfied, at the critical juncture when people were urgently needed for the work of the church, I did not show consideration for God’s intention and did not do the duties I ought to have done. Instead, I just thought about running away, and left transgressions in my wake. By treating my duty in this way, I betrayed God! I thought of God’s words: “It is perfectly natural and justified that humans complete the commissions God entrusts to them. This is man’s supreme responsibility, and is just as important as his very life. If you treat God’s commissions lightly, this is a most severe betrayal of God. In this, you are more deplorable than Judas, and should be cursed” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. How to Know Man’s Nature). I realized that treating your duty in a perfunctory and careless manner will result in damage to the work of the church. This is a serious betrayal of God, and the thing that God hates the most. Ultimately, you will certainly be condemned and eliminated. I felt fear in my heart, and finally saw clearly that pursuing the comfort of the flesh brings calamity, not a blessing, and that showing consideration for the flesh could genuinely cost me my life. If I remained unrepentant and continued to pursue fleshly comforts, then, like Satan, I would be destroyed by God! I could no longer live by satanic poisons, and had to rebel against the flesh and practice in accordance with God’s requirements to do my duty well.

I thought of Noah’s attitude toward his duties, so I looked up God’s words to read. God says: “The entire process of building the ark was filled with difficulty. For the moment, let’s put aside how Noah got through the whipping winds, scorching sun, and lashing rain, the searing heat and bitter cold, and the four turning seasons, year after year. Let us first speak of what a colossal undertaking building the ark was, and of his preparation of the various materials, and the myriad difficulties he faced in the course of building the ark. … Faced with all manner of troubles, difficult situations, and challenges, Noah did not shrink back. When some of his more difficult engineering tasks frequently failed and underwent damage, even though Noah felt upset and anxious in his heart, when he thought of God’s words, when he remembered every word that God commanded of him, and God’s elevation of him, then he often felt extremely motivated: ‘I cannot give up, I cannot discard what God commanded and entrusted me to do; this is God’s commission, and since I accepted it, since I heard the words spoken by God and the voice of God, and since I accepted this from God, then I should submit absolutely, which is what ought to be attained by a human being.’ So, no matter what kind of difficulties he faced, no matter what kind of mockery or slander he encountered, no matter how exhausted his body became, how tired, he did not forsake what had been entrusted to him by God, and constantly kept in mind every single word of what God had said and commanded. No matter how his environments changed, no matter how great the difficulty he faced, he trusted that none of this would go on forever, that God’s words alone would never pass away, and only that which God commanded to be done would surely be accomplished. Noah had in him true faith in God, and the submission that he ought to have, and he continued to build the ark that God had asked him to build. Day by day, year by year, Noah grew older, but his faith did not diminish, and there was no change in his attitude and determination to complete God’s commission. Though there were times when his body felt tired and exhausted, and he fell ill, and in his heart he was weak, his determination and perseverance toward completing God’s commission and submitting to God’s words did not lessen. During the years that Noah built the ark, Noah was practicing listening to and submitting to the words God had said, and he was also practicing an important truth of a created being and ordinary person needing to complete God’s commission” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Excursus Three: How Noah and Abraham Obeyed God’s Words and Submitted to Him (Part Two)). After reading this passage, I felt utterly ashamed. When God asked Noah to build the ark, Noah knew how difficult it would be, and also knew that building the ark would require a lot of hard work and the payment of a high price. However, no matter how great the difficulties, Noah still accepted God’s commission without any choices of his own. He did not consider his own interests, and simple-heartedly submitted to God, accepting God’s commission and doing his utmost to build the ark according to God’s requirements. After persisting for a hundred and twenty years, he finally completed the ark. Noah accepted God’s commission without compromise, and was loyal and submissive. His humanity was excellent! Compared to Noah, I was too lacking in humanity. If I couldn’t bear these small hardships now, and wanted to change to an easier duty, then I really was not fit even to be called a human.

Later, I read more of God’s words: “Eating and drinking of God’s words, practicing prayer, accepting God’s burden, and accepting the tasks He entrusts to you—all of this is so that there may be a path before you. The more burden you have for God’s commission, the easier it will be for you to be perfected by Him. Some are unwilling to coordinate with others in service to God, even when they have been called upon; these are lazy people who wish only to revel in comfort. The more you are asked to serve in coordination with others, the more experience you will gain. Due to having more burdens and experiences, you will gain more opportunities to be perfected. Therefore, if you can serve God with sincerity, then you will be mindful of God’s burden; as such, you will have more opportunities to be perfected by God. It is just such a group of people that is currently being perfected” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Be Considerate of God’s Intentions in Order to Attain Perfection). God graced me with the opportunity to train to do my duty so that I would obtain the truth and be made perfect. I had to cherish it! Although managing the watering work is busy and tiring, there are many opportunities to obtain the truth and be made perfect by God. Although the duties I did before were more relaxed and comfortable, fewer problems came upon me, which meant there were fewer opportunities to seek the truth, and my life growth was slow. I now finally experienced why God wants people to rebel against their flesh and bear more of a burden; there is so much of God’s love within this. When I turned my mindset around, I didn’t feel like I was suffering even though my duty was a little busier, and I was willing to submit and accept this duty from the bottom of my heart. I began to actively take the initiative to familiarize myself with the work, and took the initiative to ask Chen Lu about anything I didn’t know how to do. I didn’t dare to delay any longer, afraid that if Chen Lu went to do other duties before I had a grasp of what was happening in the churches, it would delay the work. Later, Li Yang and I cooperated together to follow up on the work in a timely manner, and the results of the watering work were better than before. The newcomers were actively attending gatherings and were also willing to do duties and preach the gospel.

After a time, we had familiarized ourselves with the work, and the leaders asked me and Li Yang to divide our work, with each of us being responsible for a few churches. By doing this, we would be able to follow up on the work in more detail. After we divided our work, I noticed that the results of the watering work in the churches I was responsible for were not good. There were many newcomers who were not gathering regularly, and there was a shortage of waterers. The churches that Li Yang was responsible for were better, and had a lot of waterers, and so his duty was a bit easier. When I saw the state of the churches after we divided our work, I didn’t want to take on these churches, feeling that as soon as I did, I would be even busier and more tired than before. However, when I thought about how Li Yang was more familiar with his churches, and how dividing the tasks in this way facilitated following up on the work, I submitted. Later, more and more newcomers came in after hearing the gospel, urgently needing to be watered, but the churches I was responsible for lacked waterers. I had to spend a lot more time and energy on my work than usual, and when I saw that Li Yang was less busy, I regretted dividing the work with him. At this time I realized I was wanting to show consideration for the flesh again. I thought about how I had already left a transgression in my wake due to cherishing my flesh and hindering the work of the church. I could not hurt God’s heart again like I had done in the past. No matter how hard or tiring it was, I had to persevere. Once my intentions were correct, I had the faith to get to work. Afterward, the results of the watering work improved somewhat, and the work was not delayed. I truly experienced that if you have the right intention in doing your duty and cooperate diligently, without showing consideration for the flesh, then you will have God’s leadership and blessing, and your heart will feel at ease and peaceful. Thank God!