By Xiaocong, China

In December 2023, I was responsible for the watering work of several churches. At that time, I was very proactive in my duty and had a basic grasp of the newcomers’ situations. By March 2024, the number of newcomers at Jianglin Church had gradually increased, and the supervisor arranged for me to be responsible for the watering work of this church. Since this church was a bit far from the other churches I was responsible for, and the environment was dire with the police carrying out frequent arrests, the supervisor reminded me that if I couldn’t meet the newcomers in time, I should write more letters to the waterers to understand how the newcomers were doing. I agreed without hesitation at the time.

Some time later, the supervisor wrote to ask about things like the newcomers’ recent states and difficulties, and the duties these newcomers were suitable to do. Seeing these questions, I thought to myself, “I’ve just taken up responsibility for the watering work at Jianglin Church, and I have only gotten a general grasp of the newcomers’ situations, with few details. I promised the supervisor that I’d focus on following up on how the newcomers were doing, but as of now, I haven’t actually followed up on them properly. If I answer truthfully, what will the supervisor think of me? Will she think I’m being perfunctory and not doing real work? Will she think that even though I’ve been watering for some time, I am still unfamiliar with these tasks, and that my work capability is poor? Will she therefore look down on me?” Thinking of this, I didn’t want to reply to her. But I couldn’t just not reply either. I’d really gotten myself into a dilemma here. I was damned if I spoke, damned if I didn’t. At that moment, an idea struck me, “If I write to the waterers of Jianglin Church right now and I clarify things before replying to the supervisor, then the supervisor won’t think I have poor work capabilities and that I’m being perfunctory and not doing real work.” So, I quickly started writing a letter to the waterers of Jianglin Church. After finishing the letter, I still felt unsettled. I thought to myself, “If the waterers are slow to respond, and I don’t reply to the supervisor promptly because I’m still waiting, will the supervisor have a bad impression of me? In that case, it might expose that I haven’t followed up on the work properly. This way, not only would I fail to maintain my pride and status, but it’d also put me in a dilemma, and if the supervisor asks for the reason for this, I won’t have a good explanation. I need to reply to the supervisor first. But what can I say so that the supervisor will think that there are legitimate reasons for me replying so late? The supervisor asked so many questions, so if I say I’ve followed up on all these issues, that wouldn’t be realistic. I’ll just say that I’ve overlooked one issue and that I’m writing a letter to follow up on it and will give her feedback altogether after receiving a reply. This way, the supervisor won’t have anything to say about me. After all, people don’t think about every issue comprehensively—missing one or two is normal.” So, I replied to the supervisor this way. A couple of days later, the waterers of Jianglin Church replied with details of the newcomers’ situation, and I reported these things to the supervisor point by point. The supervisor didn’t say anything, and I felt relieved, thinking, “Thank goodness I didn’t truthfully report the situation; otherwise, the supervisor would surely question my work capabilities, or think I’m being perfunctory and not doing real work. If that were to happen, I wouldn’t be able to maintain my good image in her eyes.”

One day, during a gathering, I read in God’s latest words that those who belong to the category of devils are habitual liars. I was reminded of how I replied to the supervisor’s letter. I clearly hadn’t followed up on the newcomers’ situation, but I claimed to have only missed one issue. I was lying and deceiving! I wanted to open up and talk about my deceitful state, but then I reconsidered, “I went to great lengths to lie before. Wasn’t that precisely to maintain my good image in the supervisor’s eyes? If I opened up now, wouldn’t all my previous ‘efforts’ have been in vain? Not to mention losing face and status, the supervisor would also think of me as really scheming and deceitful. Forget it. If I don’t say anything, no one will know.” So, I didn’t open up. But after the gathering, I thought of how God said that those who habitually lie value their own interests greatly, and that once their pride and status are involved, they go to any lengths to lie and deceive. I lied to maintain my pride and status. Wasn’t this the same as a devil’s behavior? I felt extremely uneasy and afraid. So I opened up to the supervisor about this matter.

Afterward, I sought God’s words regarding my state to enter into. I read God’s words: “The intents of deceitful people are much more complicated than those of honest people. Far too much consideration goes into what they say and do. They have to consider fame, gain, and status, as well as their reputation and prestige, and look out for their interests, and they also cannot give anything away and let others see through them, so they must rack their brains to come up with lies. Their lies multiply, everything they say is a lie, and they do not speak a single honest word. Moreover, deceitful people have excessive extravagant desires and many unreasonable demands. When they speak, they always have their own intents and aims. In order to achieve their aims, they have to think of every possible way to lie and deceive other people, and the more lies they tell, the more lies they need to cover up, consequently there’s no end to their lying. Thus, compared to an honest person, the life of a deceitful person is both exhausting and miserable. Some people are relatively honest. If they can pursue the truth, reflect on themselves regardless of what lies they have told, dissect and understand themselves by drawing comparisons to God’s words regardless of what deception they’ve engaged in, and try to change, then they will be able to rid themselves of much of their lying and deception with a few years of experience. They will then have become a person who is basically honest. If one lives like this, it’s not just that their suffering is significantly lessened and they don’t feel so exhausted; it also brings them peace and happiness. In many matters, they will be free from the constraints of fame, gain, and status, and of vanity and pride, and will naturally live a free and liberated life. Deceitful people, however, always have ulterior motives behind their speech and actions. They fabricate all manner of lies to mislead and deceive others, and as soon as they are exposed, they rack their brains for ways to cover up their lies. They’re always in a state of anxiety, and going back and forth like this makes them feel that their lives are extremely exhausting. It is exhausting enough for them to tell so many lies in every situation that they encounter, and having to then cover up those lies is even more exhausting. Everything they say is intended to achieve a purpose, so they take great pains planning out everything they say. And since they’re afraid you’ll see through them, they must also rack their brains to cover up their lies, and keep explaining things to you, trying to convince you that they are not lying or deceiving you, that they are a good person. Deceitful people are apt to do these things” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. The Most Fundamental Practice of Being an Honest Person). From God’s words, I understood that deceitful people consider issues in an extremely complicated way. They try to protect their pride and status, and don’t want others to see any of their flaws. If something threatens their pride and status, they will rack their brains to lie and to cover up their lies. When the supervisor wrote to find out about the newcomers’ situation, I just needed to reply with which aspects had been followed up on and which had not. For the things I hadn’t done adequately, I could’ve just promptly corrected them afterward and it’d be okay. It was a very simple matter. But I overcomplicated it. I worried that if I responded truthfully, it would expose my deficiencies in my duty, and that the supervisor might doubt my work capability and look down on me. So I thought of getting a clear picture of the newcomers’ situation first before responding. This way, I could cover up the fact that the follow-up work I’d been doing was inadequate. But I also worried that if I waited until I understood the situation clearly before replying, the supervisor would think I was dragging my feet in responding, and in that case, it might expose my problems, and my image as a diligent, responsible person would be damaged. So I lied to the supervisor, saying that there was only one issue I hadn’t followed up on. At the same time, I quickly wrote to the waterers to get information on the newcomers, and then reported the information I’d gathered to the supervisor, presenting a façade to make her think that I was actually doing real work. I really went to such great lengths to protect my pride and status, resorting to tricks and scheming. I was utterly deceitful! God scrutinizes the depths of the human heart. He knew of everything I did. I could deceive people, but I couldn’t deceive God, for He sees all. If I didn’t repent and change now, I would surely be eliminated by God. I had to urgently pursue the truth and change my deceitful disposition.

Later, I watched an experiential testimony video titled I’ve Experienced the Joy of Being Honest. A passage of God’s words cited in it gave me some understanding of the path I was walking. Almighty God says: “If you are a leader or worker, are you afraid of the house of God making inquiries about and supervising your work? Are you afraid that the house of God will discover flaws and deviations in your work and prune you? Are you afraid that after the Above gets to know your real caliber and stature, they will see you in a different light and not consider you for promotion? If you have these fears, this proves that your motivations are not for the sake of church work, you are working for the sake of reputation and status, which proves that you have the disposition of an antichrist. If you have the disposition of an antichrist, you are liable to walk the path of antichrists, and commit all the evil wrought by antichrists. If, in your heart, you have no fear of God’s house supervising your work, and you are able to provide real answers to the questions and inquiries of the Above, without hiding anything, and say as much as you know, then regardless of whether what you say is right or wrong, irrespective of the corruption you revealed—even if you revealed the disposition of an antichrist—you will absolutely not be characterized as an antichrist. What’s key is whether you are able to know your own disposition of an antichrist, and whether you are able to seek the truth in order to solve this problem. If you are someone who accepts the truth, your antichrist’s disposition can be fixed. If you know full well that you have the disposition of an antichrist and yet do not seek the truth to resolve it, if you even try to conceal or lie about problems that occur and shirk responsibility, and if you do not accept the truth when subjected to pruning, then this is a serious problem, and you are no different from an antichrist. Knowing that you have the disposition of an antichrist, why do you not dare face it? Why can you not approach it frankly and say, ‘If the Above inquires about my work, I’ll say all I know, and even if the bad things I’ve done come to light, and the Above no longer makes use of me once they know, and I lose my status, I’ll still say clearly what I have to say’? Your fear of supervision of and inquiries after your work by God’s house proves that you treasure your status more than the truth. Is this not the disposition of an antichrist? To cherish status above all is the disposition of an antichrist” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Eight: They Would Have Others Submit Only to Them, Not the Truth or God (Part Two)). From God’s words, I came to understand that not daring to report matters truthfully when leaders and workers inquire about and supervise work, and even covering up the truth for the sake of reputation and status, means you are someone with the disposition of antichrists, and who walks the path of antichrists. Comparing this to my own state, when the supervisor asked about the newcomers I was responsible for, there were a lot of issues I didn’t have a clear understanding of, but I was afraid that if I reported truthfully and the supervisor saw that I hadn’t followed up on matters properly, then she would think I was being perfunctory, or even question my work capability, which would affect my good image in her mind. So I lied and resorted to deception. Wasn’t my wicked and deceitful disposition the same as that of an antichrist? In actuality, the supervisor following up on the work was in one respect to remind me whether work had been properly followed up on and implemented, so that if it hadn’t been implemented properly, I could promptly do so, thus avoiding delays in the progress of the watering work due to momentary oversight. This served to remind and help me. What’s more, in the supervisor’s inquiry into the newcomers’ situation, if she discovered deviations or problems in the watering work, these could be promptly fellowshipped about and addressed. She was safeguarding the interests of the church by doing this. I should have reported honestly, saying as much as I knew, and as for what I hadn’t properly followed up on, it would have been fine if I’d just hurried up in implementing and following up on it. But instead, I cherished my reputation and status so much, and when faced with the supervisor’s supervision, I didn’t dare to admit that I hadn’t done my work well. I even lied and deceived the supervisor. This could lead to deviations not being corrected in time, which would delay the newcomers’ life entry. I placed reputation and status above all else. In my duty, I was always trying to protect my reputation and status, scheming and maneuvering. I was so loathsome to God!

One day, I read a passage of God’s words, and gained a clearer understanding of what kind of people God approves of and what kind of people He loathes. Almighty God says: “That God requires people to be honest proves that He really loathes deceitful people and dislikes them. God’s dislike of deceitful people is a dislike of their way of doing things, their dispositions, and also their intents and their means of deception; God dislikes all of these things. If deceitful people are able to accept the truth, admit to their deceitful disposition, and are willing to accept God’s salvation and practice the truth to become honest people, then they too have a hope of being saved, for God does not show bias toward anyone, and neither does the truth. And so, if we wish to become people who are pleasing to God, first we must change our principles of self-conduct, stop living according to satanic philosophies, stop relying on lying and deception to live our lives, and cast off all our lies and try to be honest people. Then God’s view of us will change. Previously, people always relied on lies, deception, and pretense while living among others, and they conducted themselves by taking satanic philosophies as the basis of their existence, as their lives, and as their foundation. This was something that God loathed. Among nonbelievers, if you try to be an honest person and tell the truth, then you will be slandered, judged, and rejected. So you follow worldly trends and live by satanic philosophies; you become more and more skilled at lying, and more and more deceitful. You also use insidious means to achieve your goals and thus protect yourself. You become more and more prosperous in Satan’s world, and as a result, you fall deeper and deeper into sin and cannot extricate yourself. In God’s house, things are precisely the opposite. The more skilled you are at lying and being deceptive, the more God’s chosen people will be averse to you and reject you. If you refuse to repent and still cling to satanic philosophies and logic, and you also use schemes and ploys and sophisticated tactics to disguise yourself and put up facades, then you are very likely to be revealed and eliminated. This is because God loathes deceitful people. Only honest people can prosper in God’s house, and all deceitful people will eventually be rejected and eliminated. This has long since been preordained by God. Only honest people can have a share in the kingdom of heaven. If you do not try to be an honest person, and if you don’t experience and practice in the direction of pursuing the truth, if you don’t expose your own ugliness, and if you don’t lay yourself bare, then you will never be able to receive the Holy Spirit’s work and gain God’s approval” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. The Most Fundamental Practice of Being an Honest Person). God likes honest people and detests deceitful people, because deceitful people always lie and deceive no matter what situation they face, and take satanic philosophies as the foundation of their survival and do not practice the truth at all. Reflecting on the root of my deceitfulness, I saw that I lived by the sayings, “Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost,” “People need their pride just as a tree needs its bark,” and “A man leaves his name behind wherever he stays, just as a goose utters its cry wherever it flies.” I lived by these satanic poisons, placing great importance on my pride, status, and personal interests. No matter what I encountered, once my pride and status were involved, I’d rack my brains and do whatever it took to cover up the truth. After doing so, I’d even think that this is how smart people act, that only fools and stupid people tell the truth. I remember when I was in school, one time, I got the homework mixed up and left one part unfinished. I was worried about ruining my image as a good student in the teacher’s eyes, so I lied to the teacher, saying that I had left my homework at home, and then went home at lunchtime to hurriedly finish it and handed it in that afternoon. In order to save face and protect my status, I lied and played tricks more and more, and it became more and more second nature to me. Even after finding God, I was still living by satanic thoughts and views. To maintain my image in the supervisor’s eyes and hide my problems and shortcomings, I resorted to trickery and deception to cover up the truth. Even when I realized later that I should be an honest person and fellowship openly, I worried that if I opened up, all my previous efforts would have been in vain, and that the supervisor would think of me as utterly scheming and deceitful. So I didn’t want to speak honestly. God likes honest people, because they have the courage to take responsibility when faced with problems, and they have the courage to face their shortcomings when they are revealed, and afterward, they can seek the truth and resolve these things. When such people do their duties, their grasp of the principles gets better and better, and their results get better and better too. But I showed none of these behaviors. I always tried to disguise and cover up my flaws, and I even tried to deceive my brothers and sisters. In what way did what I lived out have any of the likeness of an honest person? It was a crooked and deceitful image of Satan. If I remained unrepentant, I would certainly be spurned by God and lose my chance at salvation.

Later, I read two passages of God’s words and found a path of practice. Almighty God says: “People think that if they don’t have their own interests or if they lose them, they wouldn’t be able to survive, as if their survival depends on their own interests. So most people are blind to all but their own interests. They see their interests as being above all else, and live solely for their own interests. They won’t lift a finger unless there’s something in it for themselves, and asking them to give up their own interests is like asking them to give up their own lives. So, just how can people become able to let go of their interests? They must accept the truth. Only when they understand the truth can they see through to the essence of self-interest and clearly recognize that pursuing one’s interests is counter to pursuing the truth, and can never enable one to gain the truth and life or attain salvation; only then can they learn to forsake and rebel against self-interest, and become able to give up what they love. And when you do give up what you love and forsake your own interests, you will feel more grounded and more at peace in your heart, and in so doing you will have overcome the flesh” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Knowing One’s Disposition Is the Foundation of Changing It). “To be an honest person, you must first lay your heart bare so that everyone can look into it, see all that you are thinking, and look upon your true face. You must not try to disguise yourself, or cover yourself up. Only then will others trust you and consider you to be an honest person. This is the most fundamental practice, and a prerequisite to being an honest person. … Being an honest person means that, regardless of whether you are before God or other people, you can open up in a pure and simple manner about your inner state and the words in your heart. Is this easy to do? It requires a period of training, as well as frequent prayer and reliance on God. You must train yourself to speak the words in your heart simply and openly in all matters. With this kind of training, you can make progress” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. The Most Fundamental Practice of Being an Honest Person). God’s words made the path of practice clear. To resolve a deceitful state, one must give up personal interests, not consider their pride or status, and open up to God in all things. In my duties, I should report any issues or personal shortcomings promptly, and I should prioritize the interests of God’s house. Even if by speaking the truth, the brothers and sisters see my issues and shortcomings in my duties and then look down on me, I must still approach it correctly. So, I made a firm decision that no matter how my brothers and sisters would view me, I had to open up and lay myself bare to them, and be an honest person.

During a gathering, a newcomer I was responsible for, Xiao Ya, asked me a question about preaching the gospel, and at the time, I briefly fellowshipped a little. But later I found that my fellowship contained deviations, and that it couldn’t resolve Xiao Ya’s issue at all. Later, the supervisor wrote a letter to ask me how I had resolved Xiao Ya’s problems and difficulties, and I thought to myself, “If I write truthfully, the supervisor will surely think that as a waterer, I can’t even fellowship about such a small issue clearly, and that I can’t do real work. Maybe I’ll just gloss over it and not write what really happened.” As I considered this, I realized that I was still being deceitful. God loves honest people, so I should be an honest person and speak the truth. In the end, I wrote it truthfully. And when I did this, the weight on my heart finally lifted, and I felt a great sense of relief. Afterward, I fellowshipped with Xiao Ya in time and corrected my deviations. Later, as I interacted with brothers and sisters in life and did my duties, I practiced being an honest person, and even though sometimes, when my interests were involved, I was tempted to act deceitfully, I chose to speak the truth to my brothers and sisters under the guidance of God’s words. Whenever I reported truthfully to the brothers and sisters I was partnered with or to the supervisor, they never criticized me for doing poorly. On the contrary, they reminded and helped me, and they fellowshipped the truth principles with me. In my heart, I felt at ease and liberated, and I was not as exhausted as before. It was God’s words that helped me recognize my deceitful disposition and realize that practicing according to God’s words and daring to speak the truth and open up isn’t a shameful thing. I experienced that the more I open up, the more at ease and liberated I feel. Thank God for His leadership and guidance, which have allowed me to make these gains.