79. How I Broke Free of the Shackles of Fame and Gain

By Su Mi, China

In 2002, I was 18 years old and worked in a garment factory. Whenever I saw TV drama protagonists dressed beautifully and fashionably in gold and silver, living in luxurious mansions and driving fancy cars, receiving warm welcomes and farewells wherever they went, looking so glamorous, I envied that kind of life. I dreamed that once I started a family, I would work hard to live such a prestigious life. To achieve my dream, shortly after we got married, my husband and I moved away to work. To earn more money, even when I was seven or eight months pregnant, I still worked over ten hours a day sewing clothes. Due to the prolonged exhaustion, my health deteriorated significantly, and my weight suddenly dropped by more than ten pounds. My husband, due to prolonged sitting and insufficient water intake, developed kidney stones, and he could no longer work with me making clothes. Later, my husband got a job at a company, and before long, he earned the boss’ trust. The boss entrusted him with many company affairs, and after a few years, we’d built up some savings, and we took out a loan to buy a house in the city. My husband’s career was going well, and we planned to buy a car as well. Whenever we returned to our hometown, the other villagers admired us for having settled in the city at such a young age, and they praised us for being capable. Hearing such praise, I felt so proud, and it was as if I were floating on air. I thought having money was great—wherever I went, I was admired and commended. But gradually, I felt an inexplicable emptiness inside. I’d go shopping for high-end clothes and skincare products, or I’d travel to various places, but nothing could fill the void in my heart. I couldn’t help but ask myself, “What on earth have I worked so hard to make money for? Is it just to eat, dress, and live well, and earn people’s admiration? But why do I still feel so empty inside after obtaining all this?” I muddled through each day like this, feeling exhausted by life.

In 2019, my husband’s company was involved in a financial dispute. My husband was in charge of the company’s finances, so he was implicated, too. We had to pay 400,000 yuan in compensation. My husband was also prosecuted, and was sentenced to four and a half years in prison in the end. I felt like my world was collapsing. My husband had been the pillar of our family. With him in prison, there was no one who could earn money or support us. We still had to pay the mortgage each month, along with the costs of our two children’s education and daily expenses. We had also borrowed a lot of money to pay the compensation. All this pressure fell on me alone. Besides the financial burden, I also had to endure the contemptuous and disdainful looks from those around me. It felt like agony to go on living, and I thought I’d be better off dead. But my two children were still young, and it was exactly the time when they needed me to take care of them, so I couldn’t bear to abandon them. I cried every day, not knowing how I was going to face the future. Just when I felt there was no way out, my mother preached Almighty God’s gospel of the last days to me. By reading God’s words and listening to the fellowship of brothers and sisters, I came to understand that in the beginning, people lived in the Garden of Eden and had no worries, sorrow, or pain. But after they were corrupted by Satan, people developed various ambitions, desires, and misguided perspectives behind their pursuit. That’s why there’s so much suffering and distress. This time, God has come to work in order to free humanity from Satan’s harm and restore the life that mankind once had in the Garden of Eden. Only by accepting Almighty God’s salvation in the last days can one be free of Satan’s harm and receive God’s salvation. I felt like I had found something to rely on, and the pain in my heart was greatly relieved. I became willing to attend gatherings and read God’s words.

After that, I attended gatherings alongside making clothes. Since I was good at making clothes, the money I earned not only covered my family’s daily expenses but also allowed me to build up some savings. I had plans for the future again, thinking, “If I keep working for a few more years, I’ll be better off, and then others won’t look down on me and mock me for being poor.” But I had to attend gatherings three times a week, and although this was beneficial for my life entry, it meant I worked fewer hours and earned less money than before. So I thought, “Could I reduce my gatherings to just once a week? That way, I’ll be able to earn a few thousand yuan more each month, and even after paying the mortgage, I’ll still have extra money. If I save up for a few years, I’ll be able to pay off my debts, and if I can then buy a car, I’ll be able to go out with more dignity.” Later, through fellowship with brothers and sisters at gatherings, I realized that if I only focused on making money and couldn’t attend gatherings regularly, I’d just end up drifting further away from God. Then how could I receive God’s care and protection? When disasters come, money cannot buy back a person’s life! I remembered hearing that making protective clothing during the pandemic was very profitable, so some people worked day and night to do so and ended up dying in the factory. There were too many such cases of trading one’s life for money. I had to see through Satan’s schemes and not lose the opportunity to gain life for the sake of money. I had to continue attending gatherings regularly. At first, I was still able to attend gatherings three times a week, but after a while, when my monthly salary decreased significantly because I was working less, I started to worry, “Attending more gatherings will help me understand more truths and benefit my life entry, but right now, the factory has plenty of orders and the pay is high. It’s a good time to make money. If I miss this peak season, business will be difficult later, and no matter how many clothes I make then, they won’t bring in much profit. No, I have to prioritize money right now. I’ll attend more gatherings when the factory isn’t busy.” So I decided to attend gatherings twice a week. After each gathering, I rushed to the factory to work, and even after others got off work, I kept going. During that time, I felt especially tired, I had no time to read God’s words, I didn’t know what to say in prayer, and my heart drifted further and further from God.

Later, during the off-season, the factory closed for a while. I could have used the break to attend more gatherings and equip myself with more truths, but I wanted to earn more money quickly to regain the admiration I’d had when I was wealthy, so I went to another factory to make protective clothing. Sometimes, to earn more, I’d stay past my usual finishing time, and by the time I got home, the sister would already be waiting for me to join the gathering. But my whole body would ache after a day’s work, and my arms would hurt so much that I’d not be able to lift them. I’d just want to rest early, and so the gatherings wouldn’t be effective. To earn more, I got up at 5:30 a.m. every day to make breakfast, and to save time, I’d bring my lunch to the factory. Due to my long-term irregular eating habits and always having cold lunches, a month later, one day I suddenly had severe vomiting and diarrhea. The doctor said I had acute gastroenteritis, that it was quite severe, and that I had to stay home to recover. Lying in bed, I started to ponder, “I haven’t been doing my devotionals or going to gatherings regularly. I’ve just been focused on making money and living a good life to gain people’s admiration. Isn’t this out of line with God’s intention?” During a gathering, a sister read a passage of God’s words that specifically addressed my state: “Job’s belief in God was not nominal; he was the archetype of a person who sincerely believes in God. He prayed to God in all things. He felt deeply uneasy about his children’s merrymaking, and he prayed to God and entrusted them to God. He certainly frequently prayed over how to raise his livestock. He put everything in God’s hands. If he had been like a nonbeliever, always having his own plans when it came to raising livestock, relying only on his own mind and imaginings and racking his brains to achieve the goals he had planned, then even if he had experienced many failures and setbacks, would he have been able to see God’s hands and His sovereignty and arrangements? … Why do people rack their brains using human methods to attain their own goals instead of relying on God? When they make plans, do they seek God’s desires? Do they have a submissive attitude, saying, ‘I don’t know what God is going to do. I’ll plan things this way first, but I don’t know whether or not the goal I’m making a plan for can be achieved; this is just how I’m planning it. If my goal can be achieved, then it is a blessing from God. If not, then it is because of my own blindness; my plan is not in accord with God’s intentions’? Do they have this kind of attitude? (No.) So how do these actions arise? These are people’s imaginings and notions, their desires, and their unreasonable requirements of God; they arise from corrupt dispositions. This is one aspect. Additionally, do such people have hearts of submission to God? (No.) How do you see that they do not have hearts of submission to God? (Once they make a plan, they absolutely have to realize it.) What disposition is this? It is arrogance and rebellion. They believe that God blesses them, but when they have their own desires and plans, they set God to the side; this is an arrogant disposition. Are they submitting when they set God to the side? They are not, and God is not in their hearts. They do not consider how God holds sovereignty over and arranges things at all, much less how He wants to do things. They do not consider these matters. What can be seen from this? They do not seek at all, they do not have any submission, and they do not have God-fearing hearts at all. They first make their own plans, then afterward, they act and work hard according to their plans, relying on human methods, imaginings, and notions, without thinking about God’s intentions at all. When it comes to raising livestock, people at least need to know this: ‘Do your best, and leave the rest to Heaven’—which is to say, ‘I’ll fulfill my responsibilities to feed the livestock properly, I won’t let them lack nutrition, or freeze, or go hungry, or get sick. The number of offspring they have next year is in God’s hands; I do not know it, I do not require it, and I will not make plans. These matters are all up to God.’ If they persist in relying on human notions and imaginings to act, do they have a submissive attitude toward God? (No.) Of these two ways of doing things, which comes from man’s will, and which shows submission to God? (The first one comes from man’s will, and is the disbelievers’ way of doing things; the second comes from those who sincerely believe in God and seek the truth.) They both believe in God, and they both do the same thing, but the motive, origin, goal, and principles of their actions are different. Thus, the path people are on can be seen(The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. The Principles of the Practice of Submitting to God). The sister fellowshipped that Job was someone who truly believed in God. In life, no matter what happened, he had no personal plans or agendas and did not act according to his own will. In all things, he submitted to God’s sovereignty and arrangements. But looking at ourselves, though we believe in God, we do not truly believe in His sovereignty. We always want to rely on our own efforts to change our destiny, and as a result, we live in suffering and exhaustion. I kept nodding as I listened to the sister’s fellowship. I thought about how, before I found God, I always wanted to rely on my own efforts and work frantically to become rich. But in the end, not only did I fail to become rich, I also ended up with a lot of debt. Now, I wanted to rely on my sewing skills to work more and earn money. I wanted to restore my previous wealthy lifestyle, so I worked overtime and did everything I could to make money, but I ended up wearing myself out and making myself sick, and the money I’d earned was almost entirely spent on medical expenses. My fate is not something that I could plan and calculate for myself. I couldn’t obtain the fame and gain I desired just by working hard, as everything is under God’s sovereignty and arrangements. Now that I’d found God, if I still didn’t believe in God’s sovereignty, and I kept relying on my own efforts to try and change my destiny, then I’d just be like a nonbeliever. I’d be a disbeliever. Understanding this, I prayed to God, “God, I have been too rebellious. I am willing to entrust everything to Your hands.” After that, I attended gatherings regularly and did my duties to the best of my abilities.

One day, during my devotionals, I listened to a hymn of God’s words, entitled “God Laments the Future of Mankind”:

1  In the vast expanse of the world, oceans silt into fields, and fields flood into oceans, countless times over. Except for He who holds sovereignty over everything among all things, there is no one who is able to lead and guide this human race. There is no “mighty one” to toil or make preparations for this human race, still less is there anyone who can lead this human race to move toward the destination of light and to break free of the injustices of the world of man. God laments the future of mankind, He grieves at the fall of mankind, and is pained that mankind is marching, step by step, toward decay and the path of no return. No one has ever given thought to this: Where might such a mankind, who has thoroughly broken the heart of God and forsaken Him to seek the evil one, be headed?

2  It is precisely for this reason that no one tries to sense the wrath of God, that no one seeks the way that pleases God or tries to draw closer to God, and even more so that no one tries to appreciate God’s grief and pain. Even after hearing the voice of God, man continues on his own path, continues turning away from God, evading God’s grace and care, and shunning His truth, preferring to sell himself to Satan, the enemy of God. And who has given any thought to, should man persist in his obduracy, how God will treat this mankind that so utterly disregards Him?

3  No one knows that the reason for God’s repeated reminders and exhortations toward man is that He has prepared in His hands catastrophes like never before, those that will be unbearable to the flesh and soul of man, not merely a punishment of the flesh, but those that target the soul of man. You need to know this: What kind of rage will God unleash when His plan falls through, and when His reminders and exhortations are not repaid? It will be like nothing that has ever been experienced or known by any created being. And so I say, these catastrophes are without precedent, and will never be repeated. For God’s plan is to create mankind only this once, and to save mankind only this once. This is the first time, and it is also the last. Therefore, no one can appreciate the painstaking intentions and fervent anticipation with which God saves mankind this time.

—The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. God Is the Source of Man’s Life

As I pondered the lyrics, I felt that God is lamenting over the future and destination of mankind, and at the same time, constantly reminding and exhorting humanity. He hopes that people will come before Him and accept His salvation. These words are God’s heartfelt expressions, and every word is real and true. I can no longer avoid and reject God’s salvation. I thought about how, after accepting God’s work of the last days, I came to know that it is God who is sovereign over man’s destiny, and that only by believing in God and worshiping Him can one live a valuable life. But in order to live a life of wealth and gain others’ admiration, I threw myself wholeheartedly into my work. I saw gatherings as a burden, and my relationship with God became more and more distant. If illness hadn’t come upon me, I would still be stuck in the vortex of chasing money, unable to break free. Thinking of this, I prayed to God, “God, I wish to repent and to break free from the bondage of money, but I have no power to free myself. Please guide me.” I then recalled a passage of God’s words: “You must take heed! Those who are smart should quickly wake up! Relinquish anything you are unwilling to part with. I tell you once again that these things really are harmful to your life, and they are of no benefit!(The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Utterances of Christ in the Beginning, Chapter 14). God’s words made me realize that pursuing wealth, fame, and gain would ruin my life. Just like Lot’s wife, when God was about to destroy Sodom, she couldn’t let go of her possessions and insisted on looking back, and as a result, she turned into a pillar of salt. If I only focused on immediate benefits, and didn’t pursue the truth or seek dispositional change, then when God’s work is completed, I will miss my chance at salvation. Understanding God’s love and His urgent intentions to save people, I decided to attend gatherings more often and eat and drink more of God’s words. Later, I often attended gatherings with brothers and sisters to fellowship God’s words. Every day was very fulfilling, and my health recovered quickly.

A month later, my illness had improved a bit. I went back to my parents’ home one day, and my aunt, who used to greet me warmly from afar, turned her face away and ignored me when she saw me. My younger sister, who used to vent to me and confide in me, stopped confiding in me after my family fell on hard times. She even made some sarcastic remarks about me, both intentionally and unintentionally. This left me with some unpleasant feelings. In the past, I’d been admired wherever I went, but now that I had no money, my aunt looked down on me, and even my younger sister didn’t take me seriously anymore. It seemed like it was better to have money—only when you have money do other people take you seriously. So I went back to work at the garment factory. At first, I could still attend gatherings regularly, but later, when I realized my salary was much lower than my colleagues’, I started thinking about how I could improve my sewing speed and earn more money. My heart was completely occupied by my work. At that time, I was just going through the motions in gatherings, and as soon as the gatherings ended, I would immediately rush to the factory. At the factory, I would step on the sewing machine pedal tirelessly. Just like that, I went back to my old way of life, and like a machine, I worked ceaselessly to make money every day. I had no time to eat or drink God’s words, and my heart drifted further and further from God. Sometimes, I felt guilty, thinking, “Why can’t I let go of money? Why am I so dishonest before God and always going back on my word?” I hated myself, and wanted to slap my own face. I prayed to God, “God, I want to attend gatherings and eat and drink Your words properly, but I can’t let go of my desire to make money. Please lead me out of the snare of money.”

One day during a gathering, I read God’s words and gained some understanding of the root of my pursuit of money. Almighty God says: “‘Money makes the world go round’ is a philosophy of Satan. It is very prevalent among people, in every society; you could say it is a trend. This is because it has been instilled in the heart of every single person, who at first did not accept this saying, but then gave it tacit acceptance when they came into contact with real life, and began to feel that these words were in fact true. Is this not a process of Satan corrupting man? … Satan uses money to entice people, and corrupts all of them into worshiping money and material things. And how is this worship of money manifested in people? Don’t you think that in this world you couldn’t survive without money, and that you couldn’t go a single day without it? How much money people have determines how high their status is, and how distinguished they are. The poor do not feel they can stand tall and proud, while the rich have high status, stand tall and proud, and can speak loudly and live in an arrogant and unbridled manner. What does this saying and trend bring to people? Is it not true that many people are willing to make any sacrifice in order to make money? Do many people not lose their dignity and integrity in the pursuit of more money? Do many people not lose the opportunity to do their duty and follow God for the sake of money? Is losing the chance to gain the truth and be saved not the greatest of all losses for people? Just using this method and this saying, Satan corrupts man to such a degree. Is Satan’s intention not sinister? Is this not a malicious trick? As this saying becomes popular, you go from disagreeing with it to finally believing that it is the truth, and by that point your heart has fallen completely into Satan’s grasp, and therefore you involuntarily come to live by the saying. To what degree has this saying affected you? You might know the true way, and you might know the truth, but you are powerless to pursue it. You may clearly know that God’s words are the truth, but you are unwilling to pay the price or to suffer in order to gain the truth. Instead, you would rather sacrifice your own future to resist God to the very end. No matter what God says, no matter what God does, no matter how deep and how great the love that God has for you is, insofar as you are able to understand it, you would stubbornly insist on exerting yourself because of this saying. That is to say, this saying has already misled and controlled your thoughts, it has already governed your behavior, and you would rather let it rule your fate than let go of your pursuit of wealth. That you can act thus, that you can be controlled and manipulated by the words of Satan—does this not mean that you have been misled and corrupted by Satan? Does this not mean the philosophy and thoughts of Satan, and the disposition of Satan, have taken root in your heart? When you single-mindedly pursue wealth, and abandon the pursuit of the truth, has Satan not achieved its aim of misleading you?(The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God Himself, the Unique V). “In fact, no matter how grand man’s aspirations are, no matter how realistic man’s desires are or how proper they may be, all that man wants to achieve, all that man seeks, is inextricably linked to two words. These two words are vitally important to every person throughout their life, and they are things Satan intends to instill in man. What are these two words? They are ‘fame’ and ‘gain.’ Satan uses a very mild method, a method that’s very much in line with people’s notions, and that isn’t very aggressive, to cause people to unknowingly accept its means and laws of survival, develop life goals and life directions, and come to possess life aspirations. No matter how high-sounding people’s descriptions of their life aspirations may be, these aspirations always revolve around fame and gain. Everything that any great or famous person—or, in fact, any person—chases throughout their life relates only to these two words: ‘fame’ and ‘gain.’ People think that once they have fame and gain, they have the capital to enjoy high status and great wealth, and to enjoy life. They think that once they have fame and gain, they have the capital to seek pleasure and to engage in wanton enjoyment of the flesh. For the sake of this fame and gain which they desire, people happily and unknowingly hand over their bodies, hearts, and even all that they have, including their prospects and fates, to Satan. They do so without reservation, without even a moment’s doubt, and without ever knowing to reclaim everything that they once had. Can people retain any control over themselves once they have given themselves over to Satan and become loyal to it in this way? Certainly not. They are completely and utterly controlled by Satan. They have completely and utterly sunk into this quagmire, and are unable to free themselves(The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God Himself, the Unique VI). A sister then fellowshipped, “Satan uses fame, gain, and money to corrupt and bind people. Poisons like ‘Money isn’t everything, but without it, you can do nothing,’ ‘When you’ve got money, you’ve got it all,’ ‘Money makes the world go round,’ and so on, have become the prevailing trend in today’s society and the rules by which people live. People believe that the more money you have, the higher your status, and the more glorious your life is. To achieve this goal, people spare no effort in earning money, and they fall into Satan’s snare. They become firmly controlled by Satan in both body and mind, and they no longer have time and energy to pursue the truth or worship God, and they grow ever more distant from God.” After listening to the sister’s fellowship, I realized that I was just like this. I had always dreamed of becoming a wealthy person and living a life superior to others, and I thought that this was what a happy life meant. To achieve this, I worked frantically to earn money, and I put all my energy into it. Even while pregnant, I worked overtime. Later, an unexpected financial dispute occurred. My husband was sentenced to prison, our family owed debts, and my life suddenly turned on its head. I feared that others would look down on me if they saw my fall from grace, so I worked even more frantically to earn money. After finding God, I was well aware that God has incarnated to express the truth to save people in the last days, that this was an opportunity of astounding rarity, and that I should attend gatherings more and eat and drink God’s words more, so I could understand more truths. But my heart was filled with desire for money, fame, and gain, and I thought that attending gatherings would affect my ability to earn money, so I kept choosing to attend fewer gatherings, or even sometimes to not attend gatherings at all. During the off-season, when the factory wasn’t busy and was temporarily closed, I worked at another factory, and even after I exhausted myself to the point of illness, I refused to turn back. Satan was using money, fame, and gain to bind me tightly, trapping me in their vortex, from which I was unable to escape. I valued the pursuit of money, fame, and gain more than the pursuit of truth, and more than life itself. If I continued down this path without changing, I would ultimately lose my chance at salvation. It was only then that I saw clearly Satan’s evil intentions to corrupt people with money, fame, and gain. And I understood that my having a skill in sewing was God’s grace, so that I could survive in the world and provide for myself, but it was not meant for me to use that skill to satisfy my ambitions and desires for fame, gain, and status. Being content with having enough to eat and wear makes life easier, and leaves enough time for the worship of God. Having understood these things, I no longer wanted to work frantically and be fooled and harmed by Satan, and I became willing to attend gatherings and pursue the truth properly.

Afterward, I also reflected, “Can I really obtain the fame and gain I desire through my hard work?” I remembered God said: “Whatever your background may be, and whatever the journey ahead of you may be, in any case, no one can escape the orchestrations and arrangements of Heaven, and no one can control their own fate, for only He who is sovereign over all things is capable of such work(The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. God Is the Source of Man’s Life). A person’s fate is in God’s hands, and it cannot be changed by one’s own efforts. The kind of life I lead, whether glorious and prestigious or impoverished and mundane, is not something I can decide, and I should submit to God’s sovereignty and arrangements. Only by pursuing the truth, and casting off my satanic corrupt disposition, can I become a person God approves of. Only such a life is valuable and meaningful. Afterward, I didn’t work frantically to make money anymore, and I was able to attend gatherings and eat and drink God’s words regularly.

In 2020, the church leader said that many newcomers had been converted, and she asked if I was willing to water them. I thought to myself, “If I water the newcomers, I won’t have time to work and make money. Then what will I do if my money runs out? Restoring my former glory days is even more out of the question. But this is also a critical moment for the spreading of the gospel, and without someone to water them, these newcomers who don’t understand the truth could be taken by Satan at any time.” I thought about how when I first found God and didn’t understand anything, if the brothers and sisters hadn’t given their time and energy to water and support me in good time, I wouldn’t have become certain of the true God, nor received God’s salvation. So now that this duty had come to me, if I refused, wouldn’t I be utterly lacking in conscience? I then came across a passage of God’s words: “People must all seek to live out a life of meaning, and should not be satisfied with their current circumstances. They must come to live out the image of Peter, and they must possess the knowledge and experiences of Peter. They must pursue things that are higher and more profound. They must pursue a deeper, purer love of God, and a life that has value and meaning. Only this is life; only then will they be the same as Peter. You must focus on entering proactively on the positive side, and you must not be passive and allow yourself to backslide because you’re content with temporary ease, while at the same time ignoring more profound, more detailed, and more practical truths. You must possess practical love, and you must find every possible way to free yourself from this decadent, carefree life that is no different from an animal’s. You must live out a life of meaning, a life of value, and you must not fool yourself or treat your life like a toy to be played with. For everyone who has resolve and loves God, there are no unattainable truths and no justice for which they cannot stand firm. How should you live your life? How should you love God, and use this love to satisfy His intentions? There is no greater matter in your life. Above all, you must have this kind of resolve and perseverance, and should not be a spineless weakling. You must learn how to experience a meaningful life and experience meaningful truths, and should not treat yourself perfunctorily in that way. Without you realizing it, your life will pass you by; after that, will you still have this kind of opportunity to love God? Can man love God after he is dead? You must have the same resolve and conscience as Peter; you must live a meaningful life, and not play games with yourself. As a human being, and as a person who pursues God, you must consider and approach your life carefully—considering how you should offer yourself to God, how you should have a more meaningful faith in God, and how, since you love God, you should love Him in a way that is more pure, more beautiful, and more good(The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. The Experiences of Peter: His Knowledge of Chastisement and Judgment). After reading God’s words, I understood that to live a meaningful life, one must pursue the truth like Peter, living a life solely for the pursuit of loving God, and fulfill the duty of a created being, and that only in this way can one receive God’s approval. But I had spent half my life pursuing money, fame, and gain. I worked hard to live a life of wealth and win people’s admiration, but in the end, our family lost all our money, ending up in debt to others, and I became ill from exhaustion. Even though I attained fame and gain, received people’s admiration and praise, and my vanity was satisfied, these superficial things were unable to fill the emptiness in my heart. In this way, I was bound by fame and gain, wasting my time, and in the end, I gained nothing. Ever since I found God, I’d lived a church life and fellowshipped God’s words with the brothers and sisters, I’d understood some truths, and my heart had gained ease, peace, and reliance. Especially when I was doing my duty, I was able to often quiet myself before God, read His words, and receive the enlightenment and guidance of His words, and I felt great joy in my heart. When I revealed corrupt states or encountered difficulties and problems while doing my duty, by seeking the truth and fellowshipping with my brothers and sisters, I gained some understanding of my corrupt dispositions and found a path of practice. I felt my life was growing quickly, and I realized that only by doing my duty could I understand more truths. Now, the great catastrophes have already begun, and they are right before our eyes. If I still don’t seize the hour to pursue the truth, then, in future trials, without God’s words as my foundation, I will be liable to complain, and perhaps even resist God, and so lose my chance at salvation. Then I’d end up in disaster, weeping and gnashing my teeth. When I thought of this, I resolved to quit my job, and to properly do my duty and pursue the truth. The next day, I told the leader that I was willing to water the newcomers. Later, God also opened up a way for me. My mother-in-law saw that I wasn’t well and told me to take good care of my health and to not worry about the family’s debts, as she, my father-in-law, and sister-in-law would take them on. I used the money I’d earned from working to pay the mortgage, and I was able to pay it on time each month. I knew that this was God’s love. Thank God for saving me from the power of Satan. I am willing to do my duties properly in the days to come, and to pursue the truth to achieve dispositional change to repay God’s love.

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Next: 80. Why I Was Always Afraid to Express My Opinion

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