By Weiwei, China

I began believing in the Lord with my parents when I was 17. In 2001, our whole family accepted Almighty God’s work in the last days, and afterward, we each began doing our duties. At the end of 2012, I was arrested by the CCP while preaching the gospel. After I was released, I left home to do my duty elsewhere to avoid being arrested again. In 2014, I saw my father at the place where I was doing my duty. When I saw him actively doing his duty, and learned that my sister was also doing her duty in the church, I was very happy. I thought, “Over the last dozen or so years, everyone in our family has been doing a duty. As long as we continue expending and making an effort in this way and follow Almighty God to the end, then when God’s work ends, our whole family can be saved and enter God’s kingdom.” But what came as a complete surprise to me was that when the district leaders came to communicate with us about the work one day in 2015, they mentioned a letter from my home church, saying that my father kept picking at the leader’s flaws in the gatherings, and no matter how he was fellowshipped with, he wasn’t getting any better. My father even said that the leader didn’t understand anything and suggested finding an expert to fellowship with him. This disturbed the brothers and sisters so much that it kept them from gathering in peace. The district leaders said they were planning to look into the specifics of the situation and then fellowship properly with my father. I feigned calmness and said, “How could my father’s situation be so bad?” But inside, I was angry and distressed, thinking, “What’s wrong with him? He’s believed in God for over ten years, and yet he won’t do his duties properly and is even disturbing the life of the church?” At that time, I was desperate to see my father as soon as possible, so I could talk to him, and try to persuade him not to cause any more disturbances. But I knew that my father had a really arrogant disposition, that he refused to back down when he thought he was right, and that my attempts at persuasion wouldn’t help. I couldn’t help but start to worry, “If my father continues causing disturbances without repenting, the nature of it will be very serious, and he will face being cleared out. From finding the Lord to accepting this stage of God’s work, my father has believed for nearly twenty years, and during this time, he has suffered a lot, even continuing to do his duties in dangerous situations. If he is cleared out, won’t all his years of suffering have been in vain? His life of faith would be completely over!” Thinking of this, I told the leaders, “If I could see my father and try and talk some sense into him, maybe his state could be turned around.” One of them said, “You’re too emotional right now. If you go see your father, you’ll either act out of hotheadedness or out of affection. You have your own duty to do. We will go fellowship with your father. Just focus on your duty for now.” I thought what the leader said was right, and that it was better to let them fellowship with him. Over the next few days, I was so disturbed by my father’s situation that I couldn’t sleep, had no appetite, my thoughts were a mess, and I couldn’t focus on my duties. I hoped that through the leaders’ fellowship, my father could turn things around, and at the very least, wouldn’t be cleared out. I felt that as long as he could labor in God’s house, there would still be hope for him to be saved. So every day, I waited eagerly for the leaders to bring good news about my father turning himself around.

Before long, the brothers and sisters responsible for the cleansing work sent me a letter, asking me to provide an account of my father’s consistent behavior. When I read the letter, I felt an indescribable pain in my heart, and my eyes welled up with tears. It was really hard for me to accept this fact. I thought to myself, “It seems my father’s problem is serious. If his behavior is vile, he will be cleared out, and once he’s cleared out, his life of faith will come to a permanent end, and he will have no hope of salvation at all. My father is already in his sixties, and has believed in God for so many years. How will he be able to bear it if he’s cleared out?” I realized my state was incorrect and quickly knelt down to pray to God, “God, seeing my father facing being cleared out is so painful. Please protect my heart so I don’t complain about You, and so that I can submit.” I prayed over and over again. While writing my evaluation, I thought about how my father’s humanity wasn’t good, and about how he had almost done some extreme things while out in the world. If I wrote about these aspects of my father’s behavior and the church assessed his consistent conduct, wouldn’t they decide to clear him out? Since I was a child, my father had been very good to me. When I was young, I had a weak constitution and always caught colds, and after injections, I wouldn’t want to walk, so my father would carry me home. In the years I’d been away from home doing my duty, my parents had been scrimping to save money for me, and they’d helped me a lot. Several times, my in-laws came to our house to cause trouble, and it was my father who dealt with it. My father had worried himself a lot over things to do with me. I thought, “Maybe I shouldn’t write about my father’s bad humanity, and instead, I should write about how he expended himself with enthusiasm. That way, when the brothers and sisters see that my father’s past behavior has been good, maybe they’ll let him stay on to labor, and my father will still have hope of salvation.” But I also felt that it would be inappropriate to do this. For the next few days, I was so troubled by this matter that I couldn’t focus on my duty. In my pain, I recalled a line of God’s word: “If anyone does something that is of no benefit to the church, even if it’s your parents, that is unacceptable!” So I then looked up the passage that had this line. God says: “You must show strength and backbone, and stand firm in your testimony to Me; rise up and speak for Me, and fear not what other people might say. Just satisfy My intentions, and do not let anyone constrain you. … I am your support and your shield, and all is in My hands. What, then, are you afraid of? Are you not being too sentimental? You must cast off your feelings as soon as you can; I do not act out of feelings, but exercise righteousness instead. If anyone does something that is of no benefit to the church, even if it’s your parents, that is unacceptable!” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Utterances of Christ in the Beginning, Chapter 9). After reading God’s words, I felt deeply distressed and upset. God’s intention was for me to stand on the side of truth when faced with things, not to act based on affection, to hold to truth principles, and to uphold the interests of God’s house. But when I learned I had to provide details of my father’s consistent behavior, I didn’t look at things according to truth principles. Instead, I reminisced on how my father had been good to me since childhood, and so lost my standing and principles. I even thought about going to see my father to try and talk to him, to stop him from causing more disturbances. That way, he wouldn’t be cleared out, and he could stay on to continue laboring, and he would have a chance to be saved. If I’d had a bit of conscience and reason when writing my evaluation, I should have stood on God’s side and upheld the church’s work and honestly written about the behavior I knew he had, but I showed favoritism to my father based on affection, and I just wanted to write about his good behavior while either glossing over or leaving out his bad behavior. In what way did I have a God-fearing heart? Realizing this, I wrote down all of my father’s behaviors that I knew of, and then sent the report to the brothers and sisters.

A while later, I saw the notice of my father being cleared out. My father had not only been picking at the leader’s faults, but also didn’t accept the truth at all. He’d also been taking God’s words out of context, condemning and accusing anyone who fellowshipped with him. He’d persistently disturbed church life, and had absolutely refused to repent, and so he was eventually cleared out. Based on my father’s consistent behavior, he was truly absurd, lacking spiritual understanding, and his nature was extremely averse to and hateful toward the truth. His being cleared out completely revealed God’s righteousness. Seeing this, I let go of my affection for my father from the bottom of my heart.

One day in March 2022, I received a letter from the leaders of my sister’s church, saying that my sister hadn’t attended any gatherings since August 2021. According to the principles, those who, for extended periods of time, do not gather, pursue the truth, or do their duties must be cleared out, and they asked me to quickly write about my sister’s consistent behavior. Upon reading this, I felt a heart-wrenching pain, and I just couldn’t accept this fact. I was in turmoil and couldn’t focus on communicating with the sisters about the work, so I curled up and sobbed, holding my head. The sisters saw me like this and came to help me by fellowshipping with me, but their words just didn’t get through to me. I thought to myself, “How could this be? A while ago, my sister sent me a letter along with some spending money. How could she have lost contact with the church in just a few months? Could something have happened at home? I remember that after my sister came to believe in God, she was always enthusiastic about expending herself, and active in her duties. Something major must have happened at home for her not to attend gatherings. Should the church give her another chance to repent?” I also learned that the church was only gathering information about my sister’s consistent behavior, and that if she sincerely repented and was willing to properly believe in God, she would still have a chance to repent. But I still worried, “What if my sister doesn’t come back to the gatherings soon?” That night, I tossed and turned in bed, unable to sleep. The beautiful memories of our family all believing in God and doing our duties played like a movie in my mind. My sister had always taken care of me since childhood. When I was in a bad state, she supported and helped me, and when I was doing my duty in the church, she often sent me spending money. If my sister was cleared out, she would have absolutely no hope of salvation. Thinking of this, I felt a pang of sorrow. Over the next few days, my state was really bad because of my sister, and I couldn’t calm my heart in my duties. I thought, “I should go back home and talk some sense into my sister. As long as she returns to the church and does her duties to the best of her abilities, she won’t be cleared out.” But then I thought, “I have been arrested for believing in God, I have a police record, and if I return home recklessly and get caught, I won’t be able to do my duties, and I’ll be implicating my brothers and sisters. The consequences would be unimaginable.” My mind was a mess and I didn’t know what to do. Three days later, I felt dizzy, my heart was racing, and I had chest tightness and shortness of breath. I felt like I could collapse at any moment even when just walking. Only then did I reflect on myself and dismiss the idea of returning home. But the thought that my sister might be cleared out still made me feel a bit sad. I shared my state with one of the sisters around me, and she read several passages of God’s words to me. Through fellowship with the sister, I understood that God’s house is ruled by the truth and righteousness, and that God’s house will never wrong a good person, nor let an evildoer go unpunished. Since the church was collecting a record of my sister’s consistent behavior, this was under God’s permission, and though I couldn’t see through this, I should submit first and provide what I knew about her behavior, and the church would certainly handle her and treat her according to the principles.

Later, my sister was cleared out. I saw the record of my sister’s behavior provided by the brothers and sisters, and it mentioned that in recent years, my sister had only focused on earning money to support her son’s university preparations, and that she had no sense of burden for her duties. In her duties, she was always perfunctory, did things as she pleased, procrastinated in her duties, was irresponsible, and seriously delayed the church’s work. Even after the brothers and sisters repeatedly pointed out her problems and helped her, she remained the same, with no guilt or remorse. At home, she rarely ate or drank God’s words or watched the videos produced by God’s house, and she worked to earn money every day. Later she didn’t even attend gatherings. A sister went to support her, but she said, “When my mom was sick, she got better after believing in God, so I followed her and believed. But now that her illness has recurred, why don’t I feel God’s existence?” After saying this, she left. After seeing these behaviors, I was very angry, and thought, “How could she say these things? She is a disbeliever!” In the past, I had seen that she was passionate in expending herself, and so I thought she genuinely believed in God, but now I saw that her original intentions and motive in her faith were wrong. It was only after seeing my mom’s long-term illness miraculously healed through faith in God and how our family’s life had also gradually improved that she started believing in God. She only followed our mother to believe in God when she obtained God’s grace. Later, when my mom became sick again, my sister saw that she wasn’t getting the benefits she wanted from believing in God, and her desire for blessings was shattered, so she stopped attending gatherings and doing her duty, and even denied God. From my sister’s behavior, it was apparent that she simply wasn’t a genuine believer in God at all, and that her essence was that of a disbeliever.

Later, I reflected: I’d always thought that so long as I forsook things, expended myself for God, and followed Him until the end, I would ultimately be saved. But was this view really correct? I read God’s words: “People say, ‘God is a righteous God. As long as man follows Him to the very end, He will surely be impartial toward man, for He is most righteous. If man follows Him to the very end, could He cast man aside?’ I am impartial toward all people, and judge all people with My righteous disposition, yet the requirements I make of people all include appropriate conditions, and that which I require must be accomplished by all people, regardless of who they are. I care not how qualified or how experienced you are; I care only whether you follow My way, and whether or not you love and thirst for the truth. If you lack the truth, and instead bring shame upon My name, and do not act according to My way, merely following without care or concern, then at that time I will strike you down and punish you for your evil, and what will you have to say then? Could you say that God is not righteous? If you have abided by all the words I have spoken today, then you are the kind of person whom I approve of. You say you have always suffered while following God, that you have followed Him through storms, and have shared with Him the good times and the bad, but you have not lived out the words spoken by God; you wish only to run about for God and expend yourself for God each day, and have never thought about living out a life of meaning. You also say, ‘In any case, I believe God is righteous. I suffer for Him, run around for Him, and devote myself to Him, and even if I haven’t had any achievements, I have endured hardship; He is sure to remember me.’ It is true that God is righteous, yet this righteousness is untainted by any impurities: It contains no human will, and it is not tainted by the flesh, or by human transactions. All who are rebellious and in opposition, all who do not abide by His way, will be punished; none is forgiven, and none is spared! Some people say, ‘Today I run around for You; in the end, can You give me a little blessing?’ So I ask you, ‘Have you abided by My words?’ The righteousness that you speak of is based on a transaction. You think only that I am righteous, that I am impartial toward all people, and that all those who follow Me to the very end are sure to be saved and gain My blessings. There is inner meaning to My words that ‘all those who follow Me to the very end are sure to be saved’: Those who follow Me to the very end are the ones who will be fully gained by Me; they are those who, after being conquered by Me, seek the truth and are made perfect. How many requirements have you satisfied? You have only satisfied the requirement of following Me to the very end, but what else? Have you abided by My words? You have satisfied one of My five requirements, yet you have no intention of satisfying the remaining four. You have simply found the simplest, easiest path, and pursued it with an attitude of just hoping to get lucky. Toward such a person as you, My righteous disposition means only chastisement and judgment, and righteous retribution; it means the righteous punishment of all evildoers. All those who do not follow My way will surely be punished, even if they follow to the very end. This is the righteousness of God” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. The Experiences of Peter: His Knowledge of Chastisement and Judgment). After reading God’s words, I felt ashamed. People judge others based on outward appearances, but God looks at a person’s essence. God does not look at how much a person has sacrificed or how much they have expended themselves, how much they have suffered, or at their seniority. The key is whether a person follows God’s way, whether they practice the truth and if their disposition has changed. It is upon these things that one’s outcome is determined. But I believed that God determined a person’s outcome and destination by whether a person could follow to the end, how long they had believed, and by how much they had suffered or expended themselves. I thought that so long as we made an effort and expended ourselves, and followed God to the end, then when God’s work ends, we would have hope of being saved by God and entering God’s kingdom to enjoy God’s blessings. But these were just my notions and imaginings. I also understood that being saved after having followed to the end means a person pursuing the truth and dispositional change, and being able to practice according to God’s words in all things, ultimately having their corrupt disposition cleansed, and that amid various trials and refinements, they do not deny God or betray God and are still able to follow and submit to God. Only such people will ultimately be saved by God and enter His kingdom. But those who do not pursue the truth, whose corrupt disposition shows no change, and who still rebel against and resist God, are those whom God detests. Reflecting on the two times I faced the issue of my family members being cleared out, I didn’t discern their essences. I didn’t know what kind of people God saves or eliminates, and I stood on the side of fleshly affection, wanting to go and talk some sense into them, wanting to get them to stay in God’s house to labor. I thought that in this way, they would have hope for salvation. But my thinking was completely inconsistent with God’s words. I thought of what the Lord Jesus said: “Not every one that said to Me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that follows the will of My Father which is in heaven. Many will say to Me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, and in Your name have cast out devils, and in Your name done many wonderful works? And then will I profess to them, I never knew you: depart from Me, you that work iniquity” (Matthew 7:21–23). I pondered, “Why did those who forsook everything and expended themselves for the Lord not receive the Lord Jesus’ approval, and instead, were punished and cursed by the Lord?” According to my perspective, anyone who forsakes and expends a lot, and follows God for many years would surely be saved. So why did the Pharisees, who’d served Jehovah all year long in the temple, not only fail to be saved by God, but also end up being cursed and condemned by God as a brood of vipers, and told that woe was upon them? It was because, although the Pharisees outwardly believed in God, in essence they didn’t have God-fearing hearts, never followed God’s way, and even denied and condemned the Lord Jesus and nailed Him on the cross. They severely offended God’s disposition, resulting in God punishing and cursing them. Looking at it now, I’d thought that if you believed in God, forsook and expended for God, and followed God to the end, you could be saved and enter the kingdom of heaven. But this was all just my wishful thinking, notions, and imaginings. This was absurd and nonsensical, and without any base in reality! I was making evaluations based on my notions and imaginings, even wanting to keep my family in the church to labor, thinking that in the end, God would give them a good outcome and destination. I was truly foolish and blind! Based on their essence and the path they walked, they were exactly the tares revealed by God’s work of the last days. They were disbelievers who had no love for the truth and didn’t accept it, and even if they reluctantly stayed on in God’s house, they could not be saved.

I continued to reflect, “When facing my family members being cleared out, I could never stand on God’s side. What was I being controlled by?” I read God’s words: “What is the essence of feelings? It is putting fleshly feelings first, and brushing the truth principles aside. The manifestations of feelings can be described using several words and phrases: favoritism, unprincipled protection of others, maintenance of fleshly relationships, and an absence of fairness. These are what feelings are. What are the likely consequences of people’s having feelings and living by them? Why does God most detest people’s feelings? Some people are always constrained by their feelings, they cannot put the truth into practice, and though they wish to submit to God, they cannot, so they feel tormented by their feelings. There are many people who understand the truth but cannot put it into practice; this, too, is because they are constrained by feelings” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. What Is the Truth Reality?). “Some people are extremely sentimental. Every day, in all that they say, and in how they conduct themselves and handle matters, they live by their feelings. They feel things for this person and that person, and they spend their days attending to matters of relationships and feelings. In everything they encounter, they live in the realm of feelings. When such a person’s nonbelieving relative dies, they will cry for three days and not allow the body to be buried, still harboring feelings for the deceased. They are overly sentimental. You could say that feelings are this person’s fatal flaw. They are constrained by their feelings in all matters, they are incapable of practicing the truth or acting according to principle, and they often rebel against God. Feelings are their greatest weakness, their fatal flaw, and their feelings are entirely able to bring them to ruin and destroy them. People who are overly sentimental are incapable of putting the truth into practice or submitting to God. With such strong feelings, all they can do is cater to the flesh; they’re foolish and muddleheaded people. The nature of such people is to be very sentimental. They live by their feelings” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. How to Know Man’s Nature). It was from God’s words that I finally saw that the root cause of my inability to treat my family being cleared out correctly was that I was constrained by affection. I valued my affection toward my family above everything, even above truth principles. I was living according to the satanic principles of “Blood is thicker than water,” “Affinity brings partiality,” and “Man is not inanimate; how can he be free from feelings?” I failed to distinguish right from wrong, and I lost my standing and principles. In fact, if I didn’t understand their behavior, I could have clarified it by writing to inquire with the church. I also could have discerned their essence according to truth principles, to see whether they were truly to be treated with loving help. But if they weren’t to be helped, then even if they were family, I shouldn’t blindly show kindness based on affection. But I didn’t think that way, and I first stood on the side of affection, feeling sorrow and crying for them, and not focusing on my duty. I even thought about going back to support them, disregarding the danger of arrest. When the church asked me to provide a record of their behavior, all I could think about was their kindness toward me. I was completely blinded by affection and didn’t protect the interests of God’s house, and I even wanted to use tricks and deception to protect my family, not considering at all how much damage keeping them in God’s house would bring upon the church’s work. I saw that affection was my Achilles’ heel, and that they’d become an obstacle and stumbling block to my practicing the truth. I lived within affection and treated my father and sister with conscience and love without seeking God’s intention at all. I didn’t know about their behaviors but blindly wanted to go and support them. Was this not foolish love? If I ran back home, not only would I fall into the temptation of affection, but my state would be disturbed, my duty would be delayed, and most importantly, with my police record, if I was captured, it would impact the work. Would this not create disruptions and disturbances? Realizing this, I felt some lingering fear, and I thanked God for revealing me; otherwise, I wouldn’t have seen clearly the harm and consequences of living according to affection, and would have been ruined without realizing it. I had to let go of affection and treat my family according to truth principles. I couldn’t be sad anymore about my father and sister being cleared out by the church, as it was entirely God’s righteousness. The blisters on their feet had been caused by their own path, and they had nobody to blame but themselves.

In God’s words, I found a path toward letting go of affection and treating relatives correctly. God says: “One day, when you understand some of the truth, you will no longer think that your mother is the best person, or that your parents are the best people. You will realize that they are also members of the corrupt human race, that their corrupt dispositions are all the same, that all that sets them apart is the ties of blood between you, and that if they don’t believe in God, then they are the same as the nonbelievers. You will no longer look at them from the perspective of a family member, or from the perspective of your fleshly relationship, but from the side of the truth. What are the main aspects you should look at? You should look at their views on belief in God, their views on the world, their views when handling matters, and most importantly, their attitudes toward God. If you view these aspects accurately, you will be able to see clearly whether they are good or bad people. … Suppose you see your relatives clearly, and say: ‘My mother does not accept the truth at all; she is actually averse to the truth and hates it. In her essence, she is an evil person, a devil. My father constantly tries to please people, and always takes my mother’s side. He neither accepts nor practices the truth at all; he is not someone who pursues the truth. He is a disbeliever. I will completely rebel against them, and draw clear boundaries with them.’ In this way, you will stand on the side of the truth, and will be able to reject them. When you are able to discern who they are, what kind of people they are, will you still have affection for them? Will you still feel family love for them? Will you still have a fleshly relationship with them? You will not. Will you still need to restrain this kind of affection? (No.) So how do you actually resolve these difficulties? By understanding the truth, by depending on God, and by looking to God” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only Resolving One’s Corrupt Dispositions Can Bring About True Transformation). After reading God’s words I understood that when treating family members, first, we must discern and see through to who they are according to God’s words, and once we see through to their nature essences, we will know how to treat them in accordance with truth principles. For family members who pursue and love the truth, if they don’t understand the truth and reveal corruption, or if they can’t see through the world’s evil trends and momentarily take the wrong path, we can follow truth principles and help them with love, or expose and prune them. But if they are averse to the truth, hate the truth, and in essence they are disbelievers, absurd types, and evil people, then we cannot help and support them with love. We must distinguish love from hate, hate and reject them in our hearts, and draw a clear line between us and them. At the same time, I also understood that while on the surface, I have a blood relationship with my father and sister, and they are my family, their essences are of the devil and disbelievers, and they do not walk the same path as me. Once I understood this, I was no longer constrained by affection, and I can now calm my heart in my duty. My being able to gain this understanding and entry was all a result of God’s words working upon me. Thank God!