By Su Tian, China

In August 2018, I was twenty-two years old. Because the CCP had always been persecuting and arresting Christians, I planned to go to a free and democratic country to believe in God. But unexpectedly, I was arrested at the airport. The police, to force me to sell out information on the church, made me stand with my feet together from 6 a.m. to 12 a.m. every day, for six or seven days at a time. I stood for so long that I became dizzy; my legs were sore and numb, and my breathing became rapid. The police also threatened me, “If you don’t speak, we’ll hang you up and give you a taste of the ‘twin flames of ice and fire.’ We’ll use a high-temperature machine to burn you first, and then force water into you, repeating this process over and over. By then, you won’t be able to talk even if you want to.” Thinking of the brothers and sisters who’d been tortured by the police, I felt a surge of fear in my heart, “Will I be able to take it if they torture me?” I silently prayed in my heart, asking God to give me strength and faith. Seeing that I wasn’t saying anything, the police pressed my head down and held a glowing cigarette butt to my nostrils. The thick smoke and heat penetrated my nostrils, choking me so badly I couldn’t breathe. I felt like I was suffocating. They also burned the skin under my nostrils, and I felt waves of stinging pain. Then they pulled up my arm, lit a lighter, and burned my arm with the flame. I instinctively tried to pull my hand away, but the police held it tightly, not letting me move. My arms were burned for dozens of seconds. The pain was unbearable. The skin on the underside of my arms was burned black and raw; later it ulcerated, leaving scars as large as eggs. Then, the police even gave evil smiles and looks, and I was filled with fury, resentment, and fear, thinking, “These devils are capable of anything. Who knows how they would torture me next?” I was very weak and wanted to leave this hellish place as soon as possible. But I knew that I couldn’t be a Judas and betray my brothers and sisters to drag out my wretched existence. So I prayed to God in my heart, vowing that even if I died, I would not betray the interests of God’s house, and I swore never to become a Judas. A few days later, the police brought my family to make me sign the “Three Statements,” saying they would let me go if I did. My father, misled by the great red dragon, said he would disown me as his son if I didn’t sign. I knew this was Satan’s trick and refused to sign. The police then threatened me, saying, “We’ll give you one last night, but if you still don’t sign tomorrow, we’ll take you somewhere and deal with you properly!” Hearing this scared me. “They’re capable of anything, and toward those who believe in Almighty God in particular, they’re even more brutal. If I keep refusing to sign, who knows how they’ll torture me?” The thought of suffering worse than death was terrifying. I thought, “What if I can’t endure the torture and become a Judas? Then I would offend God’s disposition and never have the chance to be saved again. If I sign the Three Statements out of wisdom, but my heart doesn’t betray God, will God give me another chance?” In the end, I couldn’t overcome the weakness of my flesh and signed the Three Statements. After signing the Three Statements, the police let me go home.

After returning home, I felt uneasy. Although I thought of using wisdom, I still signed the Three Statements, and in God’s eyes, this was a mark of betrayal. Would God still save me? Later, my father wanted to take me out to work, and he also brought in relatives and friends to persuade me. I thought to myself, “I can’t leave. If I leave, my brothers and sisters won’t be able to find me. Then I’ll never have the chance to return to God’s house.” I felt like a lost bird, waiting all alone for an unknown answer. Half a month later, my brothers and sisters found me and fellowshipped with me about doing my duties. Seeing that I could still return to God’s house and do my duties, I was so moved that I almost cried, quickly nodding in agreement. After that, no matter what duty the church assigned to me, I did my best to fulfill it. But I would occasionally hear the brothers and sisters discussing the matter of signing the Three Statements. They’d say, “We absolutely cannot sign the Three Statements. Signing the Three Statements is a betrayal of God, and it paints us with the mark of the beast.” Every time I heard these words, my heart would ache, especially when I read these words of God: “Toward those who showed Me not the slightest loyalty during times of tribulation, I shall be merciful no more, for My mercy only extends so far. I have no liking, furthermore, for anyone who has once betrayed Me, much less do I like to associate with those who sell out the interests of their friends. This is My disposition, regardless of who the person may be. I must tell you this: Anyone who thoroughly breaks My heart shall not receive clemency from Me a second time, and anyone who has been loyal to Me shall forever remain in My heart” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Prepare Sufficient Good Deeds for Your Destination). I saw that God’s disposition is righteous, majestic, and doesn’t tolerate offense, and that God will no longer show mercy to anyone who betrays Him and wounds His heart. I thought to myself, “I’ve signed the Three Statements and betrayed God. Have I already been eliminated by God? Does this mean that even if I believe to the very end, I can never be saved by God?” In particular, in the experiential testimony videos from God’s house, I saw brothers and sisters who, after being captured, stood firm in their testimony in the face of all kinds of torture, resolutely refusing to sign the Three Statements. But I signed the Three Statements to avoid being tortured. Not only did I fail to bear witness for God, but I left behind a mark of shame, allowing Satan to mock me. I felt that God must have been truly disappointed in me. The more I thought about it, the more negative I became; my heart ached as if being pierced by a knife, and I wished I hadn’t signed the Three Statements. But what’s done is done, just like how spilled water can’t be taken back. Later, God’s house began to investigate those who had signed the Three Statements; I was also the subject of an investigation. I thought of God’s words: “Aren’t those who sign the ‘Three Statements’ the ones who have detonated the bomb and blown themselves to smithereens?” (The Word, Vol. 7. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (5)). God detests those who sign the Three Statements and betray Him. Since I signed the Three Statements, I must have been condemned and eliminated by God. Would I be cleared out next? Later, although the church didn’t clear me out, I still lived in negativity. Many times, when I saw the brothers and sisters I was partnered with talking with one another about writing experiential articles or life entry, I felt that I was different from them, that they were all brothers and sisters, and that they all had the opportunity to pursue the truth and be saved. But I was different. I had betrayed God, and God must have been utterly disgusted with me. I felt that people like me had no eligibility to pursue the truth, and that even if I believed until the end, it would all be useless, and I might just be a laborer, and that salvation would have nothing to do with me. I lived in a negative state, and every day, I just did my duties mechanically, with my heart filled with unspeakable pain. At that time, I often listened to a hymn of God’s words, “If You Are a Service-Doer.” God asks us: “If you are truly a service-doer, can you render service to Me devotedly, without any element of perfunctoriness or negativity? If you discover I have never appreciated you, will you still be able to stay and render lifelong service to Me?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. A Very Serious Problem: Betrayal (2)). Every time I heard this song, I was deeply moved. I am a created being, and believing in God and doing my duties is perfectly natural and justified, and even if God didn’t want me, I would still believe in Him to the end. As long as I had one more day to do my duties, I had to do my best to fulfill my duties!

One day, I came across a passage of God’s words that addressed my state perfectly. Almighty God says: “There is also another root cause for people sinking into despondency, which is that some particular things happen to people before they’ve come of age or after they’ve grown into adults, that is, they commit some transgressions or do some idiotic things, foolish things, and ignorant things. They sink into despondency because of these transgressions, because of these idiotic and ignorant things they’ve done. This kind of despondency is a condemnation of oneself, and it is also a kind of characterization of the kind of person they are. … Some people can sometimes let go of their despondency and leave it behind. They apply their sincerity and all the energy they can muster to fulfilling their duties, their obligations, and their responsibilities, and even put all their heart and mind into pursuing the truth and contemplating God’s words, and into working hard to understand God’s words. The moment some particular situation or circumstance comes along, however, despondency takes hold of them once again and makes them feel accused again deep in their hearts. They think to themselves, ‘You did that thing before, and you were that kind of person. Can you attain salvation? Is there any point in practicing the truth? What does God think of what you’ve done? Will God forgive you for what you’ve done? Can paying the price in this way now make up for that transgression?’ They often reproach themselves and feel accused deep inside, and they often doubt themselves and grill themselves with questions. They can never cast off this despondency, and in their hearts, they feel a perpetual sense of unease about the shameful thing they’ve done. So, they’ve believed in God for so many years and don’t seem to have heard anything God has said, nor do they seem to have understood any of it. It’s as if they don’t know whether attaining salvation has anything to do with them, whether they can be absolved and redeemed, or whether they are qualified to receive God’s judgment and chastisement and His salvation. They have no idea of all these things. Because they don’t receive any answers, and because they don’t get any accurate verdict, they feel constantly despondent deep inside. In their innermost hearts, they recall what they did over and over again, they replay it in their minds over and over again, recalling how it all began and how it ended, recalling what came before and what came after. Regardless of how they recall it, they always feel sinful, and so they constantly feel despondent about this matter over the years. Even when they’re doing their duties, even when they serve as a supervisor for a certain item of work, they still feel like they have no hope of being saved. Therefore, they never squarely face the matter of pursuing the truth as something most correct and important. They simply believe that the mistake they’ve made or the thing they’ve done in the past is looked very poorly upon by most people, or condemned and spurned by people, or even condemned by God, and that even if they pursue the truth in the future they cannot be saved. No matter what step God’s work is at or how many words He has spoken, they never face the matter of pursuing the truth in the correct way. Why is this? It is because the final conclusion they draw from having experienced this kind of thing is mistaken, and so they are incapable of leaving their despondency behind them” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (2)). God described my exact state. Ever since I signed the Three Statements, the matter had been like a thorn in my heart, and I often felt heartbroken and distressed. More than once, I asked myself, “Since I signed the Three Statements and have been marked with the beast’s mark, will God still save someone like me? God wants people who can bear witness for Him, but not only did I not bear witness for God, I even signed the Three Statements and betrayed God, becoming a mark of shame. Has God already eliminated me?” Whenever I thought this way, my heart felt like it was being torn apart by a knife. I didn’t even know what to say in my prayers anymore. Although the church still gave me the opportunity to do my duties, and I was very grateful and wanted to carry them out as best as I could, my unrest just wouldn’t go away. Every time I heard brothers and sisters discussing those who’d signed the Three Statements, my heart would ache dully. Seeing the experiences of brothers and sisters standing firm in their testimony after being arrested made my heart hurt and ache even more. I thought these people were approved of by God, but I’d signed the Three Statements and betrayed God, making me unworthy of His salvation. Because I couldn’t shake off the shadow of signing the Three Statements, I often lived in a negative state, and I couldn’t muster any enthusiasm to pursue the truth or have life entry. I felt like a soulless shell of a person, only knowing to get things done each day. It seemed that only by doing things well could I atone for my transgressions, and only then would my heart feel a little comfort. Pondering God’s words, I realized that God hadn’t taken away my opportunity to pursue the truth. He’d even allowed me to train in doing the duty of a leader. If God had eliminated me, how would I still have the chance to do my duty? Much less would I be able to enjoy the watering and provision of God’s words in that case either. But I kept misunderstanding God and wasting so much time living in negativity! If I continued being this negative, it wouldn’t be God eliminating me, but rather I’d be ruining myself by not pursuing the truth. I had to reflect on myself carefully and seek the truth to get out of this negative state.

Later, I saw a passage of God’s words that helped me find the root of the problem. Almighty God says: “People all believe in God in order to get blessings, rewards, and crowns. Doesn’t every person have this intention at heart? In reality, every person does. This is a fact. Although people don’t often talk about it, and even cover up their intention and desire to obtain blessings, this desire, this intention and motive that lies deep in people’s hearts has never been wavered. No matter how much spiritual theory people understand, what experiential knowledge they have, what duty they can do, how much suffering they endure, or how much of a price they pay, they never let go of the intention to obtain blessings that is hidden deep in their hearts, and always silently toil and run about in its service. Isn’t this the thing buried deepest inside people’s hearts? Without this intention to obtain blessings, how would you feel? With what attitude would you do your duty and follow God? What would become of people if this intention to obtain blessings that is hidden in their hearts was completely eradicated? It is possible that many people would become negative, and that some would become demotivated in their duties, and lose interest in their belief in God. They would seem to have lost their souls, and it would appear as if their hearts had been taken away. This is why I say the intention to obtain blessings is something hidden deep in people’s hearts. Perhaps, as they do their duty or live the life of the church, they feel that they have understood some truths and are able to forsake their families and gladly expend themselves for God, and that they now have knowledge of their intention to obtain blessings, and have abandoned this intention, and are no longer governed or constrained by it. Then, they think that they no longer have the intention to obtain blessings, but God believes otherwise. People only view matters superficially. Without trials, they feel good about themselves. As long as they don’t leave the church or deny God’s name, and they persist in expending themselves for God, they believe they have changed. They feel they are no longer driven by their enthusiasm or momentary impulses in the performance of their duty. Instead, they believe they can pursue the truth, and that they can continuously seek and practice the truth while doing their duty, so that their corrupt dispositions are purified and they achieve some genuine change. However, when things happen that are directly related to their destination and outcome, what are their manifestations? Their true situation is revealed in its entirety” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Six Indicators of Life Growth). God exposed my true state. I was so negative because my desire for blessings had been shattered. After finding God, I was enthusiastic about expending myself for Him and started to do my duty full-time right after high school, thinking that if I continued pursuing like this, I would definitely enter the kingdom and enjoy the blessings of the kingdom of heaven. When I was caught and signed the Three Statements out of fear of torture, I felt that I had no hope of receiving blessings anymore, and all my doubts and misunderstandings of God came to the surface. I wondered, “After signing the Three Statements, can God still forgive me? If God doesn’t save me, then do I still have hope for blessings? If there’s no hope for blessings, then what’s the point of believing until the end?” I became really negative inside. Especially later, when the leaders looked into the matter of my signing the Three Statements, I began to have suspicions that I might be cleared out by the church at any time, and I felt that even though I was still able to enjoy the provision of God’s word and do my duties, I couldn’t escape the fate of being eliminated. I thought I had no hope of receiving blessings, and my heart felt like it was being crushed by a heavy stone. I felt like I had lost my soul. I was often enveloped in negativity and pain, and I couldn’t muster up the energy to pursue the truth or life entry. I saw that my desire for blessings was too strong. All these years, the expenditures and sacrifices I’d made weren’t to satisfy God but to try to bargain with Him. When there was something to gain, I’d be really motivated in my duties, but when I couldn’t get blessings, I became overly negative. What was the difference between my pursuit and that of disbelievers? I am just a created being, not even worthy of dust, but I’m able to come to God’s house, do my duties, and enjoy all the truths God expresses. I have received so much from God. But I wasn’t thankful at all for all that God had given me. I even shamelessly asked God for the blessings of the kingdom of heaven, and if I couldn’t receive blessings, I became negative and resisted. I really had no humanity! Realizing this, I felt deeply regretful, so I prayed to God, willing to let go of my intentions for blessings and to repent.

After that, I read two more passages of God’s words and gained a clearer understanding of His intention. Almighty God says: “Most people have made some transgressions and brought some stains upon themselves. For example, some people have resisted God and said blasphemous things; some people have rejected God’s commission and refused to do their duty, and were spurned by God; some people have betrayed God when they were faced with temptations; some have signed the ‘Three Statements’ when they were under arrest, betraying God; some have stolen offerings; some have squandered offerings; some have frequently disturbed the church life and caused harm to God’s chosen people; some have formed cliques and tormented others, making a shambles of the church; some have often spread notions and death, harming the brothers and sisters; and some have engaged in inappropriate relations with the opposite sex and promiscuity, and have been a terrible influence. Suffice to say that everyone has their transgressions and stains. Yet some people are able to accept the truth and repent, while others cannot accept the truth and would die before repenting. So they should be treated according to their nature essence and their consistent manifestations. Those who can repent are those who truly believe in God; but as for the truly unrepentant, they should be cleared out or expelled as appropriate. … God’s handling of each person is based on the actual circumstances and background at the time, as well as on that person’s actions and behavior and their nature essence. God never wrongs anyone. This is God’s righteousness. For example, Eve was lured by the serpent into eating the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, but Jehovah did not reproach her by saying, ‘I told you not to eat it, so why did you do it anyway? You should have had discernment; you should have known that the serpent spoke only to lure you.’ Jehovah did not reproach Eve like that. This is because humans are created by God, and He knows what their natural capabilities are like and what they allow people to do, to what extent people can control themselves, and how much people can achieve. God knows all this quite clearly. God’s handling of a person is not as simple as people imagine. God’s attitude toward a person—whether He likes them, is averse toward them, or loathes them—is primarily based on that person’s attitude toward the truth. Regardless of what one says in what context, God scrutinizes and understands this, because God scrutinizes man’s heart and essence. People always believe: ‘God only has divinity. He is righteous and brooks no offense from man. He doesn’t consider man’s difficulties or put Himself in their place. If a person resists God, He will punish them.’ That is not how things are at all. If that is how people understand God’s work, His principles for treating people, and His righteousness, this is a grave mistake. God’s determination of each person’s outcome is not based on man’s notions and imaginings, but on God’s righteous disposition. He will repay each person according to what they have done. God is righteous, and sooner or later, He will render all people thoroughly convinced” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). “In the Bible there is a story about the return of the prodigal son—why did the Lord Jesus use this parable? It was to make people understand that God’s intention to save mankind is sincere, and that He gives people the opportunity to repent and change. Throughout this process, God understands people, having profound knowledge of their weaknesses and of the degree of their corruption. He knows that people will stumble and fail. Just like a child learning to walk, no matter how physically strong they are, there will be times when they fall and stumble, and times when they knock into things and trip over. God understands every person as much as a mother understands her child. He understands each person’s difficulties, their weaknesses, and their needs. Even more than that, God understands what difficulties, weaknesses, and failures people will face in the process of life entry and dispositional change. These are the things that God understands best. As such it is said God scrutinizes the depths of people’s hearts. No matter how weak you are, as long as you don’t renounce God’s name, or leave Him and this way, then you’ll always have the chance to achieve dispositional change. If you have this chance, then you have hope of surviving, and therefore of being saved by God” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. The Path of Practice Toward Changing One’s Disposition). After reading God’s words, I gained some understanding of God’s righteous disposition. When God judges whether a person can be saved or not, He does not condemn or eliminate a person based on a momentary transgression. God knows our stature and shows understanding for our weaknesses. God measures a person primarily based on their consistent behaviors and whether they can accept the truth. If their behaviors in their duty have been consistently good, and if after committing a transgression they can accept the truth and truly repent, God will have mercy and show tolerance toward such a person. For example, David was filled with regret after taking Uriah’s wife and never committed adultery again. Even when he was old, though a young woman was brought to warm his bed, he did not get close to her. Though David transgressed, he genuinely repented, and God still approved of him. Some brothers and sisters have been expelled for walking the path of an antichrist and for seriously disturbing the church’s work, but afterward, they truly repented and were readmitted into God’s house, and they even wrote experiential articles, bearing witness to God’s work of salvation upon them. From them, I saw that God’s attitude toward those who truly repent and can accept the truth is one of mercy and salvation. On the contrary, for those who have consistently performed poorly, do not accept the truth, or have not genuinely repented, God’s attitude is to condemn and eliminate them. For example, some people who signed the Three Statements had no understanding or repentance for their betrayal of God afterward, and they even sold out the church and their brothers and sisters. God doesn’t give such people extra chances because they are averse to the truth and have no conscience or reason. I thought about how I had not been doing my duty for very long when I was arrested, my experience was shallow, and my stature was small. I had signed the Three Statements in a moment of weakness, but afterward, I felt strong self-blame and regret, and I wanted to repent and change. The church gave me a chance based on my consistent behaviors in my duty. This was God’s mercy and revealed His righteousness. But I didn’t understand God’s disposition and kept misunderstanding Him, thinking that I was merely laboring and would be eliminated once I was done laboring—as if He was using me to labor. I thought that God would scheme against people at every turn, just like corrupt humanity. Was this not blasphemy against God? I had no God-fearing heart at all! I completely denied God’s righteousness, and I also denied God’s intentions to save humanity to the greatest extent. I realized that in my faith, I did not know God at all. I was truly blind! If I continued like this, I would never receive God’s forgiveness. I had to follow David’s example, face my transgressions calmly, and truly repent. No matter whether I ultimately have a good outcome or not, I have to accept and submit and not worry about my own future prospects and paths.

Afterward, I wondered, “What was the root cause of my failure in the matter of signing the Three Statements after I was arrested?” I read God’s words: “You hope that your faith in God will not entail any difficulties or tribulations, or the slightest suffering. You always pursue those things that are worthless, and you attach no value to life, instead putting your own extravagant thoughts before the truth. You are so worthless! You live like a pig—what difference is there between you, and pigs and dogs? Are those who do not pursue the truth, and instead love the flesh, not all beasts? Are those dead ones without spirits not all walking corpses? How many words have been spoken among you? Has only a little work been done among you? How much have I provided among you? So why have you not gained it? What do you have to complain about? Is it not the case that you have gained nothing because you are too in love with the flesh? And is it not because your thoughts are too extravagant? Is it not because you are too stupid? If you fail to gain these blessings, can you blame God for not saving you? … I bestow real human life upon you, yet you do not pursue. Are you not of the same kind as pigs and dogs? Pigs do not pursue the life of man, they do not pursue being cleansed, and they do not understand what life is. Each day, after eating their fill, they simply sleep. I have bestowed the true way on you, yet you have not gained it, you remain empty-handed. Are you willing to continue in this life, the life of a pig? What is the significance of such people being alive? Your life is contemptible and ignoble, you live amid filth and licentiousness, and you do not pursue any goals, so is your life not the most ignoble of all? Do you have the gall to face God? If you continue to experience in this way, will you not acquire nothing? The true way has been bestowed on you, but whether or not you can ultimately gain it depends on your own pursuit” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. The Experiences of Peter: His Knowledge of Chastisement and Judgment). “Today, everyone in the world is undergoing trials, even God is suffering, so how can you not suffer? … Some people face persecution from their families, some face rejection from their loved ones, and some, under persecution, are unable to return to their homes, having no safe place to rest. This causes suffering in their hearts. Isn’t the suffering you’re facing right now the same as what God endured? You are now suffering with God, and God accompanies humans in suffering. Only if you have a part in Christ’s tribulation, kingdom, and endurance today will you gain glory in the end! This suffering is meaningful. Isn’t that how it is? You cannot be devoid of resolve. You must understand the meaning of suffering today and why you suffer so much. You must seek the truth and reach an understanding of God’s intention, and then you will have the resolve to suffer” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. How to Know Man’s Nature). From God’s words, I realized that the root cause behind me signing the Three Statements was that I cherished my flesh too much. I followed the satanic survival law of “Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost,” and I placed the interests of my own flesh above all else. In believing in God, I wished for there to be no hardships or pain at all, and for my flesh not to suffer, and even more, that there would be no need to experience any trials or tribulations. So when threatened with torture by the great red dragon, what was on my mind wasn’t how to stand firm in my testimony, but rather my fear of torture—in order to suffer less torture, I signed the Three Statements. To spare myself and avoid physical suffering, I bowed to the devil and abased myself to survive, clung to my shameful existence, denied God, and betrayed Him. How was my conduct any different from that of Judas? From God’s words, I also realized that to be saved in one’s faith, one must endure many sufferings. Only through painful situations can we have true faith in God. Take Peter for example. When he followed the Lord Jesus, he experienced hundreds of trials and refinements throughout his life. He sought to love God in these refinements, and in the end, he attained the utmost love for God and submission unto death, and he was crucified upside down for God, becoming the first person throughout the ages to be perfected by God. There was also Job, who faced trials. He lost his vast wealth and children in an instant, his body became covered with boils, and yet Job was able to submit to God’s sovereignty and arrangements and stand firm in his testimony for God, terrifying Satan and sending it fleeing in panic. Job became a truly free man. Compared to them, I felt ashamed. I became utterly terrified and compromised with Satan even without facing serious torture. I was like a flower in a greenhouse that couldn’t withstand a little wind or rain. I was truly fragile! I had to pursue the truth and no longer consider my flesh, and I vowed that if one day I were to be arrested again, I would stand firm in my testimony even if Satan tortured me so badly that life became worse than death.

At the end of July 2024, just after I arrived at the Dongyang Church, the neighboring church came under a large-scale arrest sweep, and the leaders arranged for us to quickly help relocate the books of God’s words. But just after we had moved a few book caches, the driver was suspected of being followed. In addition, the brother I was partnered with was also exposed to potential risks because of coming into contact with the driver. I was very scared. I thought about how recently I’d been followed by the police for a long time and had almost been arrested, and how a Judas had betrayed me and I was a key target for the police to arrest. If the brother I was cooperating with was targeted by the police, I wouldn’t be able to escape; if the police caught me, they would definitely not let me go. But when I thought about the transgression I’d committed last time when I was arrested and signed the Three Statements, I had an intense feeling in my heart, “If I really am captured, I swear I will never deny God, and that I will definitely bear witness to God!” When I thought like this, my heart was no longer constrained by this environment. Whether I would be captured or not was in God’s hands, and I had to submit to God’s orchestrations and arrangements. The books urgently needed to be transferred, various tasks urgently needed to be implemented, and I had to protect the interests of God’s house. So, I continued to discuss the arrangements for transferring the books with my partner. At the same time, I wrote a letter to the church to follow up on the progress of the transfer. By practicing this way, I felt much more at ease in my heart. That I was able to achieve this bit of knowledge and transformation is inseparable from the guidance of God’s words. I sincerely thank God!