Words From the Bible

“And Jehovah God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him” (Genesis 2:18).

“And Jehovah God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept: and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which Jehovah God had taken from man, made He a woman, and brought her to the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall join to his wife: and they shall be one flesh” (Genesis 2:21–24).

“To the woman He said, I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; in sorrow you shall bring forth children; and your desire shall be to your husband, and he shall rule over you. And to Adam He said, Because you have listened to the voice of your wife, and have eaten of the tree, of which I commanded you, saying, You shall not eat of it: cursed is the ground for your sake; in sorrow shall you eat of it all the days of your life; Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to you; and you shall eat the herb of the field; In the sweat of your face shall you eat bread, till you return to the ground; for out of it were you taken: for dust you are, and to dust shall you return” (Genesis 3:16–19).

Words of Almighty God of the Last Days

Marriage has its origin and source in God’s creation. God created the first man, who needed a partner to help and accompany him, to live with him, and so God created a partner for him, and then human marriage came into being. That is all. It is that simple. This is the rudimentary understanding of marriage you should have. Marriage comes from God; it is arranged and ordained by Him. At the very least, you can say that it is not a negative thing, but a positive thing. It could also be said accurately that marriage is proper, and that it is a proper stage in the course of human existence. It’s not wicked—it is proper and positive, because it comes from God’s creation, God’s ordination, and, of course, God’s arrangement. Human marriage originates in God’s creation, and it is something He personally arranged and ordained, so looking at it from this angle, the only perspective that one ought to have regarding marriage is that it comes from God, that it is a proper and positive thing, that it is not negative, wicked, selfish, or dark. It does not come from man, nor from Satan, much less did it organically develop within nature; rather, God created it with His own hands, and personally arranged and ordained it. This is absolutely certain. This is the most original, accurate definition and concept of marriage.

—The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (9)

The true significance of marriage is not just the continuation of mankind, but more importantly, that God has arranged a partner for each man and woman to accompany them through every stage of life. Whether in times of hardship and pain, or of ease, bliss, and happiness, they have someone with whom they can share their innermost thoughts, someone who will wholeheartedly share in their sorrow, pain, joy and happiness, to walk alongside them through it all. This is the significance behind God’s arrangement of marriage for mankind, and it is also a subjective need within each person. When God created mankind, He did not want them to be lonely, so He arranged marriage for them. In marriage, men and women each take on different roles, and the most important thing is that they accompany and support one another, living each day well, moving well along the road of life. For one, they can accompany each other, and for another, they can support each other—this is the meaning of marriage and the necessity for its existence. Of course, it is also the understanding and attitude people ought to have toward marriage, and it is the responsibility and obligation they ought to fulfill toward marriage.

—The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (9)

Marriage is a key event in any person’s life; it is the time when one starts truly to assume various kinds of responsibilities, and gradually to complete various kinds of missions. People harbor many illusions about marriage before they experience it themselves, and all these illusions are quite beautiful. Women imagine that their other halves will be Prince Charming, and men imagine that they will marry Snow White. These fantasies go to show that every person has certain requirements for marriage, their own set of required standards. Though in this evil age people are constantly bombarded with distorted messages about marriage, which create even more additional requirements and give people all sorts of baggage and strange attitudes, any person who has experienced marriage knows that no matter how one understands it, no matter what one’s attitude toward it is, marriage is not a matter of individual choice.

One encounters many people in one’s life, but no one knows who will become one’s partner in marriage. Though everyone has their own ideas and personal stances on the subject of marriage, no one can foresee who will truly, finally become their other half, and one’s own ideas on the matter count for little. After meeting someone you like, you can pursue that person; but whether they are interested in you, whether they are able to become your partner—that is not yours to decide. The object of your affections is not necessarily the person with whom you will be able to share your life; and meanwhile, someone you never expected may quietly enter your life and become your partner, the most important element in your fate, your other half, to whom your fate is inextricably bound. And so, though there are millions of marriages in the world, each and every one is different: So many marriages are unsatisfactory, so many are happy; so many span East and West, so many North and South; so many are perfect matches, so many are of equal social rank; so many are happy and harmonious, so many painful and sorrowful; so many arouse the envy of others, so many are misunderstood and frowned upon; so many are full of joy, so many are awash with tears and bring despair…. In these myriad types of marriage, humans reveal loyalty and lifelong commitment toward marriage; they reveal love, attachment, and inseparability, or resignation and incomprehension. Some betray their marriage, or even feel hostile toward it. Whether marriage itself brings happiness or pain, everyone’s mission in marriage is preordained by the Creator and will not change; this mission is something that everyone must complete. The fate of each person that lies behind every marriage is unchanging, ordained long in advance by the Creator.

—The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God Himself, the Unique III

Marriage is an important juncture in a person’s life. It is the product of a person’s fate and a crucial link in one’s fate; it is not founded on any person’s individual volition or preferences, and is not influenced by any external factors, but completely determined by the fates of the two parties, by the Creator’s arrangements and preordinations for the fates of both members of the couple. On the surface, the purpose of marriage is to continue the human race, but in truth, marriage is nothing but a ritual that one undergoes in the process of completing one’s mission. In marriage, people do not merely play the role of rearing the next generation; they adopt all the various roles involved in maintaining a marriage and the missions those roles require one to complete. Since one’s birth influences the changes undergone by the people, events, and things that surround it, one’s marriage will also inevitably affect these people, events, and things, and furthermore, will transform them all in various ways.

When one becomes independent, one begins one’s own journey in life, which leads one, step by step, toward the people, events, and things that have a connection to one’s marriage. At the same time, the other person who will be in that marriage is approaching, step by step, toward those same people, events, and things. Under the Creator’s sovereignty, two unrelated people with related fates gradually enter into a single marriage and become, miraculously, a family: “two locusts clinging to the same rope.” So, when one enters into a marriage, one’s journey in life will influence and touch upon one’s other half, and likewise one’s partner’s journey in life will influence and touch upon one’s own fate in life. In other words, human fates are interconnected, and no one can complete one’s mission in life or perform one’s role in complete independence from others. One’s birth has a bearing on a huge chain of relationships; growing up also involves a complex chain of relationships; and similarly, a marriage inevitably exists and is maintained within a vast and complex web of human connections, involving every member of that web and influencing the fate of everyone who is a part of it. A marriage is not the product of both members’ families, the circumstances in which they grew up, their appearances, their ages, their calibers, their talents, or any other factors; rather, it arises from a shared mission and a related fate. This is the origin of marriage, a product of human fate orchestrated and arranged by the Creator.

—The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God Himself, the Unique III

You shouldn’t have any subjective or unrealistic fantasies about marriage, about who your partner is or what kind of person your partner is; you should have an attitude of submission to God, you should submit to God’s arrangements and ordination, and trust that God will prepare someone most suitable for you. Isn’t it necessary to have a submissive attitude? (Yes.) Second, you must let go of those criteria for choosing a partner that the evil trends of society have instilled in you, and then establish correct criteria for choosing a partner. That is, your partner should at the very least be someone who also believes in God and who walks the same path as you—this is the general principle. Additionally, they must be able to fulfill the responsibilities of a man or a woman within marriage; they must be able to fulfill the responsibilities of a partner. How should you measure this aspect? You must look at their character, whether they have a sense of responsibility, and whether they have conscience. And how do you judge whether someone has conscience and humanity? Without spending time with them, you’ll have no way of knowing what their humanity is like. And even if you do spend time with them, if it’s only for a short time, you may still be unable to see clearly what kind of person they are. So then, how do you judge whether they have humanity? You look at whether they take responsibility for their duty, for God’s commission, and for the church’s work, and you look at whether they can safeguard the interests of God’s house and whether they are devoted in the performance of their duty—this is the best way to judge someone’s character. If this person has humanity, is of upright character, and is especially dedicated and responsible, especially serious and earnest, very meticulous, and never neglectful when it comes to the church’s work, and also pursues the truth, listening carefully and attentively to everything God says, putting His words into practice as soon as they understand them, then although such a person may not have high caliber, they are at the very least someone who is not perfunctory toward their duty and the work of the church, and who approaches these things in a conscientious and responsible manner. If they approach their duty in a conscientious and responsible manner, then they will certainly wholeheartedly live their life with you and will take responsibility for you until the very end—the character of such a person can withstand tests. Even if you get sick, grow old and ugly, or have any deficiencies or flaws, this person will always treat you correctly and be tolerant of you. They will do their utmost to safeguard the family, and they will also be able to protect you and give you a stable life, allowing you to feel very much at ease. This is the greatest happiness a man or a woman can find in married life. They may not necessarily be able to give you a life that is rich, luxurious, or romantic, nor necessarily give you anything different from others in terms of affection or other aspects, but at the very least, having them in your life will put you at ease, and without them you’ll feel unsettled. When you see that they are trustworthy and dependable now, it’s as if you can see that you will feel at ease and be content during the coming 30 or 40 years of life. This kind of person should be your criterion for choosing a partner. Of course, this criterion for choosing a partner is a little high and someone like this is not easy to find amongst modern mankind, right? To judge what someone’s character is like and whether they’ll be able to fulfill their responsibilities in marriage, you must look at their attitude toward their duty—this is one aspect. Another aspect is that you must look at whether they have a God-fearing heart. If they do, then at the very least they will not do anything inhumane or that is immoral or unethical, and so they will certainly treat you well. If they don’t have a God-fearing heart, and they are brazen, willful, or their humanity is vicious, deceitful, and arrogant; if they don’t have God in their heart and consider themselves superior to others; if they handle work, duties, and even God’s commission and any major matter of God’s house recklessly according to their own will, acting wantonly, never being cautious, not seeking principles, and especially when dealing with offerings they recklessly take and misappropriate them, fearing nothing, then you must absolutely not look for someone like that. Without a God-fearing heart, they are capable of anything. Someone like that might be sweet-talking you and making lofty vows now, but when the day comes that they lose interest in you and you can no longer satisfy their needs, they’ll say they don’t love you anymore and no longer feel anything for you, they’ll just throw you to the side, and even if they don’t divorce you, they will be fooling around outside the home—any of this could happen. They can abandon you at any time and under any circumstances, and they’re capable of doing anything. Such a person is very dangerous; it’s not worth it for you to entrust your whole life to them. If you choose a man like this as your marriage partner, you’ll be in trouble. Even if he’s tall, rich, and handsome, incredibly capable, and is very caring and attentive toward you—seeming, on the surface, to be a particularly qualified husband—if he doesn’t have a God-fearing heart at all, then he’s not a suitable partner for you. If you are infatuated with him, start dating him, and then get married, he will be a nightmare and a disaster for you your whole life. Some people do not believe this, and insist on marrying such a person, while thinking that they themselves are someone who pursues the truth, and that they consequently won’t be affected. You’ve fallen into the hands of an evil devil, and he hates God, defies God, and employs all manner of ways to disturb your belief in God—are you able to overcome this? Your little bit of stature and faith cannot stand his torment, and after a few days you’re so tormented that you beg for mercy and are unable to carry on believing in God. You lose your faith and your mind is filled with this complex mix of emotional entanglements. It’s like being thrown into a meat grinder and torn to pieces, with no human likeness, entirely mired in it, until finally you are doomed to the same fate as that devil you’re married to, and your life will be over.

—The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (10)

Is marital happiness a life goal that people should pursue? Does this have anything to do with the marriage that God has ordained? (No.) God has given marriage to man, and He has given an environment to you in which you can fulfill the responsibilities and obligations of a man or a woman within the framework of marriage. God has given you marriage, which means He has given you a partner. This partner will accompany you until the end of this life and will accompany you through every stage of life. What do I mean by “accompany”? I mean your partner will help and look after you, share with you all the things you encounter in life. That is, no matter how many things you encounter, you will no longer face them alone, but rather the two of you will face them together. Living in this way makes life somewhat easier and more relaxed, with both people doing what they’re supposed to do, each bringing their skills and strengths into play, and getting their life started. It is just that simple. But God hasn’t required you to love your partner to the very end or constantly cater to them; He has not given you this mission. God has given you a marriage, given you a partner, and given you a new living environment. Within this living environment and context, He intends for your partner to share and face all things together with you, so that you can live more easily and freely, while also allowing you to experience a different stage of life. However, God hasn’t sold you to marriage. What do I mean by this? I mean that God hasn’t taken your life, your fate, your mission, the path you follow in life, the direction you choose in life, and the kind of faith you have and given it all to your partner to determine for you. You see, when God established marriage for mankind in the beginning, He did not say, “The kind of fate, pursuit, outlook on life, and life path a woman (or man) has must be decided by their husband (or wife).” God did not say this, nor did He ordain it this way. God also did not say, “The pursuit of marital happiness is the lifelong mission of men and women. Only if you maintain the happiness of your marriage will you have completed your life’s mission and properly conducted yourself as a created being.” God has never said any such thing. Nor did God say, “You must choose your life path within the framework of marriage, and whether you attain salvation must be decided by your partner.” Has God ever said such a thing? (No.) God has ordained marriage for you and given you a partner. You enter into marriage but your identity and status before God do not change. No matter whether you are a man or a woman, there is one thing which you both share, and that is, you are both created beings before the Creator. Within the framework of marriage, you tolerate and love each other, you help and support each other, and this is fulfilling your responsibilities. Before God, however, the responsibilities you should fulfill and the mission you should accomplish cannot be replaced by the responsibilities you fulfill to your partner. Therefore, when there is conflict between your responsibilities to your partner and the duty a created being should perform before God, what you should choose is to perform the duty of a created being and not to fulfill your responsibilities to your partner. This is the direction and the aim you should choose and, of course, it is also the mission you should accomplish. Some people, however, mistakenly make the pursuit of marital happiness, or the fulfilling of their responsibilities to their partner, and caring for, looking after, and cherishing and protecting their partner, into their mission in life, and they regard their partner as their heaven, their life—this is wrong. Your destiny is under God’s sovereignty and is not governed by your partner. Marriage cannot change your destiny, nor can it change the fact that God holds sovereignty over your destiny. Concerning the kind of outlook on life you ought to have and the path you ought to follow, you should seek these in the words of God’s teachings and requirements. These things are not dependent upon your partner and are not for them to decide. Besides fulfilling their responsibilities to you, they shouldn’t have control over your destiny, nor should they demand that you change your direction in life, nor decide what path you follow, nor decide what outlook on life you should have, much less should they constrain you or obstruct you from pursuing salvation. As far as marriage goes, all people can do is accept it from God and adhere to the definition of marriage God has ordained for man, with both husband and wife fulfilling their responsibilities and obligations to each other. What they cannot do is decide their partner’s destiny, previous life, present life, or the next life, let alone eternity. Your destination, your destiny, and the path you follow can only be decided by the Creator. Therefore, as a created being, whether your role is that of wife or husband, the happiness you should pursue in this life comes from you performing the duty of a created being and accomplishing the mission of a created being. It does not come from marriage itself, much less from you fulfilling the responsibilities of a wife or husband within the framework of marriage. Of course, the path you choose to follow and the outlook on life you adopt shouldn’t be built upon marital happiness, much less should they be determined by one or the other of the spousal couple—this is something you ought to understand. So, people entering marriage who only pursue marital happiness and regard this pursuit as their mission should let go of such thoughts and views, change the way they practice, and change the direction they’re headed in life. You are entering marriage and living together with your partner under the ordination of God, that’s all, and it’s enough to fulfill the responsibilities of a wife or husband while you share your life together. As for what path you follow and what outlook on life you adopt, your partner is under no obligation and has no right to decide these things. Even though you are already married and have a partner, if this so-called partner is ordained by God, all they can do is fulfill the responsibilities of a partner; everything else that does not concern them is for you to choose and decide. Of course, what is even more important is that your choices and decisions should not be based upon your own preferences and understanding, but rather on the words of God. Do you understand the fellowship on this matter? (Yes.) Therefore, the actions of any partner within the framework of marriage who pursues marital happiness at all costs or makes any sacrifice shall not be remembered by God. No matter how well or how perfectly you fulfill your obligations and responsibilities to your partner, or how much you live up to your partner’s expectations—in other words, no matter how well or how perfectly you maintain your marital happiness, or how enviable it is—it does not mean that you have fulfilled the mission of a created being, nor does it prove that you are a created being who is up to standard. Perhaps you’re a perfect wife or a perfect husband, but that remains confined to the framework of marriage. The Creator takes the measure of what kind of person you are based on how you perform the duty of a created being before Him, what kind of path you follow, what your outlook on life is, what you pursue in life, and how you accomplish the mission of a created being. With these things, God measures the path you follow as a created being and your future destination. He does not measure these things based on how you fulfill your responsibilities and obligations as a wife or a husband, nor on whether your love for your partner pleases them.

—The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (11)

We’re fellowshipping on “letting go of the pursuit of marital happiness” not to have you give up marriage or encourage you to get divorced, but rather so that you can understand the truth, have a correct view on marriage, and be able to give up the pursuit of marital happiness. First, let go of those erroneous views on pursuing marital happiness, and then let go of the erroneous practices of pursuing marital happiness, and devote the bulk of your time, years, and energy to pursuing the truth and doing the duty of a created being. As for marriage, as long as it doesn’t clash or conflict with your pursuit of truth, then the obligations you should fulfill, the mission you should accomplish, and the role you should play within the framework of marriage will not change. Therefore, asking that you let go of the pursuit of marital happiness doesn’t mean asking you to abandon marriage or to get divorced, but rather means asking you to treat marriage correctly, and then, on this foundation, complete your mission as a created being and fulfill the duty you are supposed to. Of course, if your pursuit of marital happiness impacts or hinders your performance of the duty of a created being, or even causes you to abandon this duty which you ought to do, then you are an immensely rebellious person. If you seek the truth on this matter you should be able to see clearly what people should hold fast to and what they should abandon. What you should abandon is not merely your pursuit of marital happiness; you should abandon your entire marriage. In this way, you will achieve complete alignment with the truth principles. What is the ultimate purpose and significance of fellowshipping on these issues? It’s to tell you: You mustn’t be held back, blinded, disturbed, or even preoccupied by marital happiness, and you mustn’t allow the pursuit of marital happiness to overrun your life path and your life; instead, you must treat the responsibilities and obligations you ought to fulfill in marriage correctly, and identify the responsibilities and obligations you ought to fulfill correctly. A better way to practice is to devote more time and energy to your duty, do the duty you ought to, and complete the mission God has entrusted to you. You must never forget that you are a created being, that it is God who has led you through life to this moment, that it is God who has given you marriage, who has given you a family, and that it is God who has bestowed upon you the responsibilities you should fulfill within the framework of marriage, and that it is not you who chose marriage, it is not that you came to be married out of thin air, or that you can maintain your marital happiness by relying on your own abilities and strength. Have I now explained this clearly? (Yes.) Do you understand what you’re supposed to do? Is the path now clear to you? (Yes.) If there is no conflict or contradiction between the responsibilities and obligations you should fulfill in marriage and your duty and mission as a created being, then under such circumstances, you should fulfill your responsibilities within the framework of marriage however they are to be fulfilled, and you should fulfill your responsibilities well, shoulder the responsibilities you should shoulder, and not try to shirk them. You must take responsibility for your partner, and you should take responsibility for your partner’s life, their feelings, and everything about them. However, when there is a clash between the responsibilities and obligations you shoulder within the framework of marriage and your mission and duty as a created being, then what you must let go of is not your duty or mission but are rather your responsibilities within the framework of marriage. This is what God expects of you, it is God’s commission for you and, of course, it is what God requires of any man or woman. Only when you are capable of this will you be pursuing the truth and following God. If you are not capable of this and cannot practice in this way, then you are just a nominal believer, you do not follow God with a true heart, and you are not a pursuer of truth. Some of God’s chosen people in mainland China are now going abroad one after another to do their duties and spread the gospel of the kingdom. Some people say, “If I go abroad to do my duty, then I’ll have to forsake my family. Will I never be able to see my husband (or wife) again? Won’t we have to live apart in different places? Will our marriage fall apart? How will I live without my husband (or wife) then?” Should you be thinking about what your future will be like? What is the thing you most ought to be thinking about? If you want to be someone who pursues the truth, then what you most ought to be thinking about is how to let go of that which God asks you to let go of and how to accomplish that which God asks you to accomplish. Even if you are to be without a marriage and without your partner beside you in the future, you can still live until old age and live well. If you abandon this opportunity to do your duty, however, then that is tantamount to you abandoning the duty you should do and the mission God has entrusted to you. To God, you would then not be someone who pursues the truth, someone who truly wants God, or someone who is in pursuit of salvation. If you actively abandon your opportunity and right to attain salvation, abandon your mission, and instead you choose marriage, choose to live together with your spouse, choose to accompany and satisfy them, and choose to maintain the integrity of your marriage, then in the end you will surely lose something while gaining something. You understand what it is you will lose, right? Marriage is not your everything, nor is marital happiness—it cannot decide your fate, it cannot decide your future, and even less so can it decide your destination. So, what choices people should make, and whether or not they should let go of the pursuit of marital happiness and perform the duty of a created being is up to them to decide.

—The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (10)

God has ordained marriage for you only so that you may learn to fulfill your responsibilities, learn to live peacefully together with another person and share your life with them, experience what it’s like to share your life with your partner, and learn first-hand how you should handle all the things you encounter as a team, thereby making your life richer and different. However, He has not sold you to marriage and, of course, He has not sold you to your partner to be their slave. You are not their slave, and they are not your master, either. You are equals. You only have the responsibilities of a wife (or husband) to your partner, and when you fulfill these responsibilities, God considers you to be a wife (or husband) who is up to standard. If you believe in God and pursue the truth, can do your duty, and often attend gatherings, pray-read God’s words, and come before God, these are things God accepts; they are what a created being should do, and this is the usual state a created being should live in. There is nothing shameful about this, and you don’t need to feel like you owe your partner anything because you live this kind of life—you don’t owe them anything. If they acknowledge that God exists, you have the obligation to testify to them about God’s work. However, if they don’t believe in God and do not share the same values and path as you, then you don’t need to and are not obliged to tell them any information about your faith or the path you walk, nor do they have any right to know about these things. You believe in God, and if they support, encourage, and defend you, then they are fulfilling their responsibility and obligation. If they can’t do this, then they are not a person with humanity. Why do I say this? Because the path you walk is the right one; and, because you walk the right path, your family and your partner are blessed and enjoy the grace of God along with you. It’s only right for them to be grateful to you for this, rather than discriminating against you or bullying you, or believing that you should do more household chores and other things or that you owe them something, because you believe in God and suffer persecution. You don’t owe them emotionally, spiritually, or in any other way. On the contrary, because you believe in God, they enjoy even more extra grace and blessings from God—they’ve gotten quite a good deal. What do I mean by saying they’ve “gotten quite a good deal”? I mean that someone like that doesn’t deserve to receive those things and shouldn’t receive them. Why shouldn’t they receive them? Because they don’t acknowledge God and don’t follow God. The reason they enjoy all this grace is entirely because you believe in God. They’re riding on your coattails, enjoying blessings along with you, and it’s only right for them to be grateful to you. In other words, because they enjoy these extra blessings and this extra grace, they should take on more responsibility and support your belief in God all the more. Some people enjoy God’s grace because one person in their household believes in God—the family business grows larger and larger, they earn more money, their material life becomes richer, and their quality of life improves. How do these things come about? Some people say, “God ordained that they would be rich.” It’s true that God ordained this, but if nobody in their family believed in God, then their business would not have received so much grace and so many blessings from God. It’s because someone in the family sincerely believes in God, pursues the truth, and willingly offers up and expends themselves, that the nonbelieving family members unduly receive this grace and these blessings. For God, doing this is beyond easy. Those who don’t believe are still not satisfied, and they even suppress and bully those who believe in God. The persecution the country and society subject believers to is already a disaster for them, and yet their family members go to even greater lengths and pile on the pressure. If, in such circumstances, you still believe you are letting them down and are willing to become a slave to your marriage, then that really is something you shouldn’t do. So they don’t support your belief in God, fine; so they don’t defend your belief in God, also fine. They are free to not do those things. However, they shouldn’t treat you as a slave because you believe in God. You’re not a slave, you’re a human being, a dignified and upright person. At the very least, you’re a created being before God, and not anyone’s slave. If you must be a slave, then you can only be a slave to the truth, a slave to God, and not a slave to any person, much less have your spouse as your slave master. In terms of fleshly relationships, apart from your parents, the one who is closest to you in this world is your spouse. Yet just because you believe in God, they attack and persecute you as if you were their enemy. They object to you attending gatherings; if they hear any gossip, they come home and straight away scold and beat you. Even when you’re praying or reading God’s words at home and not affecting their normal life at all, they will scold and oppose you, and even beat you up. Tell Me, what kind of creature are they? Are they not a demon? Is this the person who’s closest to you? Does someone like this deserve to have you fulfill any responsibility toward them? (No.) Some people who are in this kind of marriage do whatever their partner says, and are willing to sacrifice everything for them—to sacrifice the time they should spend doing their duty, the opportunity to do their duty, and even their opportunity to attain salvation. None of this is proper, and at the very least they should relinquish such ideas. Besides owing God, people don’t owe anyone anything. You don’t owe your parents, your husband (or wife), your children, much less your friends—you don’t owe anything to anyone. Everything people have comes from God, and their marriages are also ordained by God. If we must speak of indebtedness, people are only indebted to God. Of course, God doesn’t demand that you pay Him back; He just asks that you walk the right path in life. Concerning marriage, God’s greatest intention is for you to be able to treat it correctly—especially when it comes to the matter of belief in God, you must not be constrained by your husband (or wife), and you must not, as a result of your marriage, lose your dignity and integrity, or give up your correct outlook on life and direction for pursuit, or even give up pursuing the truth, your chance at salvation, or any commission or mission God has given to you, becoming instead a willing slave to your marriage. If you handle your marriage in this way, then it would have been better if you hadn’t gotten married at all, and the single life would suit you better. If you cannot rid yourself of this kind of marital situation or structure no matter what you do, then it would be best if you extricated yourself from the marriage completely, and it would be better for you to live as a free person. As I have said, God’s purpose in ordaining marriage is so that you can have a partner who will go through the ups and downs of life and pass through every stage of life with you, so that you’re not alone or lonely in every stage of life, and will have someone beside you, someone to confide your innermost thoughts to, and someone to comfort and take care of you. However, God doesn’t use marriage to bind you—He doesn’t use it to bind your hands and feet, so that you have no right to choose your own path and become a slave to marriage. God has ordained marriage for you and arranged a partner for you; He hasn’t found you a master, nor does He want you to be confined within your marriage without your own pursuits, your own life goals, without the correct direction for your pursuits, and without the right to pursue salvation. On the contrary, whether you’re married or not, the greatest right God has bestowed on you is the right to pursue your own life goals, to establish the correct outlook on life, and to pursue salvation. No one can take this right away from you, and no one can interfere with it, including your spouse. So, those of you who play the role of slaves in your married lives should relinquish the slave’s way of living, give up the ideas and practices of living for your marriage and for your children, and leave that state behind. Don’t be constrained by your partner, and don’t be influenced, limited, constrained, or bound by your partner’s emotions, views, words, attitudes, or even their actions. Leave all of that behind, and rely on God with bravery and courage. When you want to read God’s words, read them; when it’s time to gather, do so. The reason is that you are a human being, not an animal, and you don’t need anyone to regulate your actions or constrain and control your life, you have the right to choose how you live and to pursue your own goals in life, and this is a right granted to you by God—in particular, since you are walking the right path by believing in God, you should all the more not be constrained by anyone. What’s most important is that, when God’s house gives you a duty, you should—taking it as your bounden duty, without considering any other choices, and without reservation—put everything aside and do the duty you ought to do, completing the mission God has given you to bring satisfaction to God’s heart. This is the attitude, resolve, and desire those who pursue the truth should possess. Regardless of whether the work requires you to leave home for several months, half a year, a year, or even longer, you should take it as your bounden duty to give up your family and forsake everything you have in order to complete the mission God has given you. The reason for this is that now is the critical moment of God working to save mankind; the spread of the kingdom gospel requires more people to contribute their strength—this is your duty and responsibility. Thus, don’t think that being married means you should be a slave to your marriage, or that the breakdown of a marriage is a disgrace. Actually, it’s not a disgrace; it depends on the circumstances in which your marriage ends and what God’s arrangements are. If God ordains it and holds sovereignty over it, and God has a commission for you, and you give up and end your marriage for a just undertaking, to pursue satisfying God and complete your mission as a created being, then this is something that is remembered and accepted by God. This is not a disgrace; it is something glorious. Even if your marriage breaks down because your partner abandons and betrays you—in colloquial terms, you get dumped and are given the boot—this isn’t anything shameful. You should say, “This is my honor, because it is due to God’s ordination and sovereignty that my marriage reached this point, ending in this way. It was God’s guidance that led me to take this step. If God hadn’t done this and hadn’t allowed my partner to boot me out, I really wouldn’t have had the faith and the courage to take this step. Thanks be to the sovereignty and guidance of God! All glory be to God!” This is an honor. In all kinds of marriages, you can have this kind of experience, you can choose to follow the right path under God’s guidance, accomplish the mission God has given you, leave your spouse under this kind of premise and with this kind of motivation, and end your marriage, and this is something to be congratulated on. There is at least one thing that is worth rejoicing about, and that is that you are no longer a slave to your marriage. You have escaped the slavery of your marriage, and you no longer have to worry, feel pained, and struggle because you are a slave to your marriage and want to get free but are unable to. From that moment on, you have escaped, you’re free, and that is a good thing. Having said this, I hope that those whose marriages have previously ended in pain and who are still shrouded in the shadows of this matter can truly let go of their marriage, let go of the shadows that it has left you with, let go of the hatred, anger, and even anguish that it has left you with, and no longer feel pain and anger because all the sacrifices and efforts you made for your partner were repaid with their infidelity, betrayal, and ridicule. I hope you leave all that behind you, feel fortunate that you are no longer a slave to your marriage, feel fortunate that you are no longer doing anything or making unnecessary sacrifices for the slave master in your marriage, but instead under God’s guidance and sovereignty, following the right path in life and doing the duty a created being ought to do, are no longer upset and have nothing else to worry about. Of course, there’s no longer any need to be concerned, worried, or anxious about your marital spouse or to have your mind occupied with thoughts of them. You don’t need to discuss your personal matters with your spouse anymore, you don’t need to be constrained by them anymore. You only need to seek the truth and look for the principles in God’s words as a basis. You are already free and are no longer a slave to your marriage. It’s fortunate that you have left that nightmare of marriage behind you, that you have genuinely come before God, are no longer restricted by your marriage, and you have more time to read God’s words, attend gatherings, and perform spiritual devotions. You’re completely free, you don’t have to act a certain way depending on anyone else’s moods anymore, you don’t have to listen to anyone’s jeering taunts anymore, you don’t have to consider anyone’s moods or feelings anymore—it’s great living the single life! You’re no longer a slave to your marriage; you can get out of that environment of being enslaved by others and fulfilling all kinds of responsibilities toward them, and become a true created being, a created being under the dominion of the Creator, and perform the duty of a created being, simply doing this one thing. How wonderful this is! You never again have to argue, fret, fuss, endure, suffer grievances, or be angry because of marital matters; you no longer have to live in that terrible environment and those complicated situations. Look how great this is—these are all good things, and everything else falls into place once this is set right. When one comes before the Creator, they speak and act according to God’s words and in accordance with the truth principles. There are no more of those messy disputes and entanglements, and they can be quiet at heart. These are all good things. But it’s a shame that some people are still willing to be slaves in such a terrible marital environment, and haven’t broken free. In any case, I still hope that, even if these people don’t end their marriages, they will at least not be slaves to their marriages. No matter who your spouse is, no matter what kind of humanity they possess, how high their status is, or how capable they are, they are still not your master—they’re your partner, your equal. They’re no nobler than you, and you’re not lowlier than them. If they aren’t able to fulfill their marital responsibilities, then you are within your rights to rebuke them, and you’re obliged to restrain them. Don’t think that they’re too formidable or fear that they’ll grow tired of you and abandon you, and consequently abase yourself, allow them to walk all over you, and willingly compromise yourself by becoming a slave to them and to your marriage, in order to keep the marriage going. This is not appropriate. This is not how one should behave, nor are these the responsibilities one should fulfill, within the framework of marriage. God does not ask you to be a slave, nor does He ask you to be a master. He asks only that you fulfill your responsibilities, and that’s why you must correctly understand the responsibilities you ought to perform in marriage, and you should also correctly understand and see clearly the role you play in marriage. If the role you play is distorted and does not accord with humanity or with what God has ordained, then you should reflect on and examine yourself, and seek how to get out of this state. If your partner fails to fulfill their marital responsibilities and treats you like a slave, you can rebuke them; if rebuking your spouse would lead to unwelcome consequences, then you should make a wiser, more appropriate choice.

—The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (11)

When people get married, they all feel fortunate and happy. At the same time, most people believe that marriage is a symbol of the happiness their future life will hold, and of course they also see marriage as the destination they pursue in this lifetime. What does this mean? It means that most people, after getting married, believe that their marriage is their destination, their resting place. They pin their prospects, their future, and their happiness on their marriage and on their spouse. Thus, after they get married, they think they have nothing more to seek after and nothing more to worry about. This is because they feel they’ve already found their destination, and this destination is both their partner and also the home they build together with that person. Since they’ve found their destination, they no longer need to pursue anything or hope for anything. … when someone enters into marriage and takes that marriage as their destination, while they regard the establishment of a correct outlook on life, the walking of the correct path in life, and the fulfillment of their duty to meet God’s requirements as something extra and incidental, then the view that “marriage is one’s destination” unwittingly becomes a stumbling block and a hindrance to their pursuit of salvation, and an obstacle to them walking the correct path in life. This is because when people consider their partner to be their destination and their destiny in this life, they believe that their partner’s joys and sorrows, their fortune and misfortune, are related to themselves, and take their own fortune and misfortune, their own joys and sorrows, as being tied to their partner, thus coming to believe that their life and death, their happiness and joy, are all bound up together. Therefore, for these people, the idea they believe in that “marriage is one’s destination” makes them very slow and passive in their pursuit of the correct life path, of positive things, and of being saved. That is to say, although some people have come to believe in and follow God, if their partner pursues the world, then they will inevitably be influenced by their partner, and it will not be easy for them to embark on the path of pursuing the truth. … This is because in her heart, her husband is her soul, he is her life, and even more so he is her sky, her everything. The husband in her heart loves her the most, and she is the one who loves her husband the most. She worries that her husband will oppose her belief in God, often fretting over this. Although she also wishes to do her duty in God’s house, when she’s needed to go do her duty away from home, she feels pained at the thought of being away from home for a long time. She worries that if she leaves, her husband will have no one to look after him, and she’ll be thinking of him and missing him. She even feels that she can’t live without him at her side, that she will lose hope and direction in life, and that she won’t be able to wholeheartedly do her duty. Just thinking about it now pains her heart, let alone if it actually happened. So, she never dares to put forward the idea of going elsewhere to do her duty, and never dares to agree when the church’s work requires her to travel. She only does things like delivering messages for the brothers and sisters or occasionally hosting them for gatherings, but she never dares to be apart from her husband for even a few days. … These people always feel in their hearts that as long as they can see their partner, hold their partner’s hand, and live together with them, they’ll have someone to rely on throughout their whole life, as if they’ve taken a pill that sets their mind at ease. They think they’ll never have to worry about food or clothing, and will be carefree their whole lives; they feel their partner is their destination. Nonbelievers have a saying that goes, “If I have you in this life, what more could I ask for?” This is how these people feel toward their marriage and their partner in their innermost hearts; they feel happy when their partner’s happy, anxious when their partner’s anxious, and they suffer when their partner suffers. If their partner dies, they don’t want to live anymore either. And if their partner goes off and falls in love with someone else, what do they do? (They can’t go on living.) Some commit suicide, and some become deranged—unhinged. Some women believe their husband to be their destination in this life, and that once they’ve found such a man, they’ll never again love anyone else—“If I have him in this life, what more could I ask for?” But her husband shifts his affections and abandons her, and she then starts to hate all men. When she sees a man, she spits at him, insults him, and even wants to hit him. She develops violent tendencies, and shows abnormal reason. And there are some people like this who become deranged. These are the consequences when people don’t correctly understand marriage.

—The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (11)

How should you handle it when your spouse is unfaithful? You shouldn’t shout or make a scene, nor should you go into hysterics and roll around on the ground. You should understand that when this happens, it doesn’t mean that the sky has fallen, nor that your dream of getting the destination you wanted has been destroyed, and it of course doesn’t mean that your marriage has failed or is going to break apart and end. It’s just that, because everyone has corrupt dispositions, and because people are influenced by the evil trends and social climate of the world and are totally unequipped to defend against these trends, people inevitably make mistakes, cheat, and are unfaithful in their marriages. If you look at the problem from this perspective, it’s not such a big deal, because every married household is influenced by the larger environment of the world and by the evil trends and climate of society; problems like this are hard to avoid. Also, since people have sexual desires of the flesh—and especially since the influence of the pornographic trends of evil society makes it difficult for them to hold to the principles and moral baseline they ought to uphold—their indulgence of sexual desire is beyond their control. Sexual desire itself is not corrupt, but because people have corrupt dispositions, plus the fact that they are tempted by their environment, they easily make mistakes in matters between men and women; this is something people should understand clearly. No one with corrupt dispositions can withstand temptation or enticement in the larger environment of a society full of wickedness and pornography. People’s sexual desire can flare up anytime and anywhere, and people can engage in infidelity anytime and anywhere. This is not because there’s a problem with sexual desire itself, but rather because, having corrupt dispositions, people cannot overcome temptation and may even use their sexual desires to do things that violate morality and ethics and make them lose their integrity, such as engaging in infidelity, having extramarital affairs, keeping mistresses, and other such disgraceful things. Thus, as someone who believes in God, if you can regard these things correctly, then you should handle them rationally. You are a corrupt human, and your husband (or wife) is a corrupt human as well, so you mustn’t demand that just because you can remain faithful to your marriage, they must also remain faithful and can never be otherwise. When something like that happens, you should face it in the correct way. Why? Because such circumstances and temptations may come to everyone. No matter how closely you keep an eye on your spouse, you cannot prevent such things from happening, because everyone has corrupt dispositions, and, living in such an evil societal environment, very few people do not engage in licentious acts. Even if some people haven’t, it’s only because their situation or conditions have not permitted it. Humans aren’t much better than beasts; the reactions of beasts come down to mere physical instinct, but humans aren’t like that—they can willfully engage in licentious acts and do depraved things. Thus, corrupt mankind is most prone to engaging in licentious acts. So, in the larger environment of this evil society, nearly everyone is capable of doing ugly, transgressive things. This is an indisputable fact, and it is an issue that cannot be avoided. So, since this kind of thing can happen with anyone, why is it that you don’t allow it to happen with your husband (or wife)? It’s actually a very normal thing. It’s only because you are emotionally entangled with them that, when they abandon you, you can’t get past it and you cannot bear it. If something like this happened to someone else, you might think it was normal, and that society is just that evil nowadays. How does that saying of the nonbelievers go? (Keeping the home front locked down while playing the field outside.) This is a popular saying, and a common sort of situation, born of the world’s evil trends. People think this is something for a man to boast about, and that if a man doesn’t have a lover outside the home, it means he hasn’t got it going on and has no capability, and people will look down on him. This is the current state of society. When some women discover their husband is having an affair, they go into hysterics, roll around on the ground, cry and make a scene, or even try to hang themselves; some even get so angry they become deranged. This is related to such a woman’s attitude toward marriage, and of course it’s also directly tied to her view that “her spouse is her destination.” She thinks that her husband shattering their marriage is equivalent to destroying her hopes and lovely wishes for her destination in this life. Because he abandoned her and broke their marriage vows, her beautiful dream has turned into a nightmare, leading her to these extreme behaviors. If you accept the correct understanding of marriage from God, then you will behave somewhat more rationally. Any person who is faced with something like this will feel hurt, cry, and suffer. However, when you calm down and reflect on the larger societal environment, and then read God’s words and seek the truth, you’ll see that everyone has corrupt dispositions and is prone to making mistakes in matters between men and women. You will then handle the matter calmly, rationally, and correctly. You will not cling to it relentlessly, but will instead be able to quiet your heart before God, and will no longer be demanding when it comes to your marriage—you will be able to let it go. What does it mean to “let it go”? It means that since he has already been unfaithful to your marriage, you should accept this fact; sit down with him and talk, asking what his plans are and how you will live your lives going forward—whether you will continue to keep the marriage intact, or end it and live separate lives. Communicate calmly; there’s no need to fight or make a scene. If your husband insists on ending the marriage, then that’s not a big deal. Nonbelievers often say, “There are plenty of fish in the sea,” and “Unicorns are hard to come by, but people are a dime a dozen.” And what is that other saying? “Don’t give up the whole forest for one single tree.” Are these sayings right? These are some of the sayings nonbelievers use to comfort themselves. Do they have anything to do with the truth? (No.) So what are the correct thoughts and viewpoints regarding this matter? When you encounter such a thing, first of all, you shouldn’t get hotheaded, and even if you become angry, you must endure. Calm down and talk with him; ask what he plans to do. If he intends to keep trying with you, then you say, “Since you want to keep trying, then no more flirting around; fulfill your responsibilities as a husband, and we’ll put this matter to rest here. If you can’t do that, then we’ll break up and go our separate ways. God may have ordained that our marriage should end here. If so, then I am willing to submit to His arrangement. You can follow the way that is broad, I’ll follow the path of faith in God, and we won’t affect each other. I won’t interfere with you, and you shouldn’t constrain me. My fate is not up to you and you are not my destination. God decides my fate and my destination. Whichever stop ultimately becomes my final one in this life—the arrival of my destination—God knows; it is all within God’s sovereignty, and I am willing to submit to His orchestrations and arrangements. In any case, if you don’t want to keep this marriage going with me, then let us part in peace. I can still go on living without you, and I will live well. The birds of the air neither sow nor reap, yet God does not let them starve—let alone me, a living person. I’ve got two arms and two legs, and can provide for myself, so you don’t need to worry. If God has ordained that I will be lonely for the rest of my life without you by my side, then I’m willing to submit, and I’m willing to accept this fact without complaint.” Isn’t this a good thing to do? (Yes, it is.) It’s great, right? There’s no need to argue and quarrel, much less make endless trouble about it so that everyone ends up knowing about it—there’s no need for any of that. A marriage is no one’s business but yours and your husband’s. If a conflict arises in the marriage, then the two of you must resolve it and bear the consequences. As someone who believes in God, you should submit to God’s orchestrations and arrangements regardless of the outcome. Of course, when it comes to marriage, no matter what cracks appear or what consequences arise, whether the marriage continues or not, whether you embark on a new life within your marriage, or whether your marriage ends right then and there, your marriage is not your destination, and neither is your spouse. He was just ordained by God to appear in your life and your existence to play a role accompanying you on your path through life. If he can accompany you all the way to the end of the road and get to the very end with you, then there’s nothing better than that, and you should thank God for His grace. If there’s a problem during the marriage, whether cracks appear or something happens that’s not to your liking, and ultimately your marriage comes to an end, that doesn’t mean you have no destination anymore, that your life is now thrown into darkness, or that there is no light, and you have no future. It could be that your marriage ending is the beginning of a more wonderful life. All of this is in God’s hands, and it is for God to orchestrate and arrange. It could be that your marriage ending gives you a deeper comprehension and appreciation of marriage, and a deeper understanding. Of course, it could be to you that your marriage ending is an important turning point in your life goals and direction and in the path you walk. Rather than leaving you with gloomy memories and painful recollections, or negative experiences and results, it may instead bring you positive experiences which you could not have had if you were still married. If your marriage carried on, you would perhaps always live this plain, mediocre, and dull life until the end of your days. If, however, your marriage ends and breaks up, then that is not necessarily a bad thing. You were previously constrained by the happiness and responsibilities of your marriage, as well as by the emotions or way of living of your concern for your spouse, your looking after him, consideration for him, caring for him, and worrying about him. Beginning from the day your marriage ends, however, all the circumstances of your life, your goals for living and your life pursuits undergo a thorough and complete change, and it must be said that this change is brought to you by your marriage ending. It could be that this result, change, and transition is what God intends you to gain from the marriage that He has ordained for you, and is what God intends you to gain by leading you to end your marriage. Although you have been hurt and have taken a tortuous path, and although you have made some unnecessary sacrifices and compromises within the framework of marriage, what you receive in the end cannot be obtained within married life. Therefore, whatever the case, the thought and view that “marriage is one’s destination” is something people should let go of. Whether your marriage is continuing, or is facing a crisis, on the verge of dissolving, or has already ended—whatever the situation—marriage is not a person’s destination. This is something people should understand.

—The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (11)

God has given you a settled life and a partner only so that you can live better and have someone to look after you, have someone beside you, not so that you can forget God and forget His words or abandon your obligation to perform your duty and your life goal of pursuing salvation once you have a spouse, and then live for your spouse. If you really act this way, if you really do live this way, then I hope you will change course as soon as possible. No matter how important someone is to you, or how important they are to your life, your living, or your life path, they are not your destination because they are only a corrupted human being. God has arranged your current spouse for you, and you can live together with them. If God arranged someone else for you, you could still live just as well, and so your current spouse is not your one and only, nor are they your destination. Only God is the One to whom your destination can be entrusted, and only God is the One to whom the destination of mankind can be entrusted. You can still survive and live if you leave your parents, and of course you can still live just as well if you leave your partner. Your parents aren’t your destination, nor is your partner. Don’t forget the most important thing in life, the matter of God commissioning you to do your duty, just because you have a marriage, a partner: a place to rest your heart and your flesh. If you forget God, forget what He has exhorted you to do, forget the duty a created being should do, and forget what your identity is, then you will have lost all conscience and reason. Regardless of what your life is like now, whether you’re married or not, your identity before the Creator will never change. No one can be your destination, and you cannot entrust yourself to anyone. Only God can give you a suitable destination, only God is the One to whom the survival of mankind is entrusted, and this will always be so.

—The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (11)

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