27. The Reason I Didn’t Accept Supervision
I had been watering newcomers in the church for over a year. In the course of my duty, I gradually mastered some principles, and my watering of newcomers also improved. I felt that I had some experience in doing this duty, and that even without help, I could water newcomers well. When the newcomers had problems and difficulties, I could help resolve them by seeking the truth, so I thought that I already knew how to do my duty well. I felt that I didn’t need anyone to guide me, and there was no need for others to supervise and follow up on my work. Thus, I didn’t accept the supervision and advice of my brothers and sisters, and I didn’t give much feedback on the specific situation of the newcomers I watered. I just did my work on my own terms.
One day, the supervisor, Pheolie, asked me about some newcomers, as well as asked me some detailed questions. For example, how did I notify the newcomers about gatherings? Why did this sister or that brother not attend gatherings? Did I often talk with the newcomers to understand their states or difficulties? When I heard these questions, I was very resistant. I thought, “Does she think I’m doing my duty irresponsibly? Does she not trust me?” I was very defiant, and wanted to ignore her. She asked me if the newcomers were interested in coming to gatherings, I perfunctorily said “yes” and didn’t explain a single detail. She asked me how I notified the newcomers about gatherings, and I told her I sent them text messages, but I didn’t explain details of how I notified them, what difficulties they faced, and so on. She then asked me what aspects of the truth I fellowshipped on with the newcomers, and I said impatiently that I knew how to talk with the newcomers, but I gave no details on what I said, how they responded, or what problems they had. She was not satisfied with my answer, and she wanted to know more about whether I was supporting and helping these newcomers. I thought she was underestimating me, as if I didn’t know how to do my duty, and this made me very uncomfortable. Once, she realized that I didn’t consider the newcomers’ feelings when I spoke, so she said to me, “You have to think from the perspective of the newcomers. If you were a newcomer, would you be happy with these words? Would you want to reply to them?” Her words rankled me. I said I understood, but I didn’t actually accept it. I didn’t think there was a problem with the way I spoke to the newcomers. I thought I knew how to fellowship with these newcomers, so I decided that I would still do it my way. Another time, she asked me how I usually fellowshipped with the newcomers, and I said, “by sending messages.” She suggested that I call the newcomers if they were available, saying that calls were more direct, and made it easier to understand their issues and help them. But I didn’t accept it, and I thought my method was better. I didn’t want to listen to her or talk anymore, so I just answered her questions briefly and most of the time I stayed silent. I found that if anyone wanted to discuss things with me about my watering of newcomers, I would become very passive and troubled, because I felt that they were laughing at me, belittling me, and thought I was someone who didn’t know how to do my duty or was untrustworthy. I thought I was doing my duty well, that I knew how to water newcomers, that I had my own methods, and that I was more gifted than the supervisor, so I couldn’t take her advice. Even though I verbally agreed, I rarely practiced according to her advice, and I continued to water and talk with newcomers on my own terms.
During one gathering, I read God’s words and finally gained some understanding of myself. God says: “There are some people who often violate principles when they act and do not accept pruning. They clearly know in their hearts that the things others say are in line with the truth, but they do not accept them. Such people are so arrogant and self-righteous! Why do I say they are arrogant? In their refusal to accept pruning, they are defiant, and is defiance not arrogance? They think they are doing well, and they do not think they commit any wrongdoing, which means that they do not know themselves and are arrogant” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Man’s Arrogant Nature Is the Root of His Resistance to God). “People should not think of themselves as being very perfect, very distinguished, very noble, or very distinct from others; all this is brought about by man’s arrogant disposition and ignorance. Always thinking of oneself as set apart—this is caused by an arrogant disposition; never being able to accept their shortcomings, and never being able to confront their mistakes and failures—this is caused by an arrogant disposition; never permitting others to be superior to themselves, or to be better than themselves—this is caused by an arrogant disposition; never allowing others’ strengths to surpass or exceed their own—this is caused by an arrogant disposition; never permitting others to have better thoughts, suggestions, and views than themselves, and, when they discover that others are better than themselves, becoming negative, not wishing to speak, feeling distressed and dejected, and becoming upset—all of this is caused by an arrogant disposition. An arrogant disposition can make you unable to accept others’ corrections due to being protective of your pride, unable to confront your shortcomings, and unable to accept your own failures and mistakes. More than that, when someone is better than you, it can cause hatred and jealousy to emerge in your heart, and you can feel constrained, and even not wish to do your duty and become perfunctory in doing it. An arrogant disposition can cause these behaviors and practices to emerge in you. If you are able, little by little, to dig deeper into all these details, achieve breakthroughs, and gain an understanding of them; and if you are then able gradually to rebel against these thoughts, to rebel against these erroneous notions, views and even behaviors, and to stop being constrained by them; and if, in the course of doing your duty, you are able to find your proper place, act according to principles, and do the duty you can and should do; then, the more you do your duty, the better you’ll get at it. In this way, you will have entered into the truth reality. If you can enter into the truth reality, you will appear to have a human likeness, and people will say, ‘This person conducts themselves according to their station, and they are doing their duty in a grounded way. They do not rely on naturalness, on hotheadedness, or on their satanic corrupt disposition to do their duty. They act with restraint and they have a God-fearing heart. There are elements of loving the truth in them, and they show manifestations and revelations of rebelling against their own flesh and preferences.’ How wonderful it is to conduct oneself in such a way! On occasions when others bring up your shortcomings, you are not only able to accept them, but are optimistic, facing your shortcomings and problems with poise. Your state of mind is quite normal, free of extremes, free of hotheadedness. Is this not what it is to have a human likeness? Only such people have reason” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. The Principles That Should Guide One’s Self-Conduct). In the past, I thought I wasn’t arrogant, but through the exposure of God’s words, I saw that I was very arrogant. The supervisor told me some good ways to water newcomers, yet I didn’t accept it at all. When she asked me about how I watered the newcomers, I just stayed silent or answered briefly, because I didn’t want to lose face or for others to see my inadequacies in watering newcomers. I wanted others to see that everything was fine with me, there was nothing wrong in my duty, and I could perform my duty well without the supervision or help of others. I really was too arrogant. I also felt I was more gifted than the sister who oversaw my work, that I knew how to water newcomers, that I had my own methods, and that they worked well, so I wasn’t willing to accept her suggestions. I even believed that if I accepted her advice, it meant my work capability was inferior to hers. That would be embarrassing. What would others think of me? So, I outwardly agreed to her suggestions, but I seldom practiced them. My arrogant disposition made me cling to my own views and stopped me from accepting the truth. This was rebellion against God. After that, I calmed down and thought about my sister’s suggestion. I thought she had a good point, and it was worth trying. So, I called the newcomers on the phone. I found that it was easier understand their problems, and promptly help them by communicating with them on the phone. When I put her advice into practice, my watering work became more effective, and I felt very ashamed. In this matter, I saw that although I was somewhat gifted, I still had many shortcomings. Without the help and guidance of my sister, the results of my work would not have improved. I also realized that I was no better than others, and that I couldn’t do my duty well by myself.
One day, the supervisor asked me about why a newcomer hadn’t come to gatherings for several days. After I explained, she asked me some other questions, wanting to know more details about how I did my duty. I felt awkward, and I was very resistant. I didn’t want to answer any of her questions, because I didn’t want to accept her supervision and questioning. I realized that I was revealing my corrupt disposition again, so I prayed to God in my heart for His enlightenment and guidance so that I could learn to submit to such environments, recognize my own corruption, and accept the supervision and guidance of others. After that, I read some of God’s words: “Antichrists prohibit the intervention, inquiries, or supervision of others in any work they do, and this prohibition is manifested in several ways. One is refusal, plain and simple. ‘Stop interfering, making inquiries, and supervising me when I work. Any work I do is my responsibility, I’ve got an idea of how to do it and I don’t need anyone managing me!’ This is straight refusal. Another manifestation is the appearance of being receptive, saying ‘Ok, let’s fellowship and see how the work should be done,’ but when others really start making inquiries and trying to find out more about their work, or when they point out a few issues and make a few suggestions, what is their attitude? (They are unreceptive.) That’s right—they simply refuse to accept, they find pretexts and excuses to reject others’ suggestions, they turn wrong into right and right into wrong, but actually, in their hearts, they know that they are forcing logic, that they are speaking high-sounding words, that what they are saying is just theoretical, that their words are not as practical as what other people say. And yet to protect their status—and knowing full well that they are wrong and that other people are right—they still turn other people’s right into wrong, and their own wrong into right, and keep carrying it out, not allowing things that are correct and in line with the truth to be introduced or implemented where they are. … What is their aim? To not accept other people intervening, inquiring, or supervising, and to make the brothers and sisters think that them acting as they are is justified, correct, in line with the work arrangements of God’s house, and in agreement with the principles of action, and that, as a leader, they are abiding by principle. Really only a few people in the church understand the truth; the majority are undoubtedly incapable of discernment, they can’t see this antichrist for who they really are, and are naturally misled by them” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Eight: They Would Have Others Submit Only to Them, Not the Truth or God (Part Two)). “When Satan acts, it does not permit the intervention of anyone else, it wishes to have the final say in everything it does and to control everything, and no one may supervise or make any inquiries. If anyone interferes or intervenes, this is even less permissible. This is how an antichrist acts; no matter what they do, nobody is allowed to make any inquiries, and no matter how they operate behind the scenes, no one is permitted to intervene. This is the behavior of an antichrist. They act this way because in one sense they have an extremely arrogant disposition and in another are extremely lacking in reason. They are completely lacking in submission, and they do not permit anyone supervising them or inspecting their work. These are truly the actions of a demon, which are completely different from those of a normal person. Anyone who does work requires the cooperation of others, they need other people’s assistance, suggestions, and cooperation, and even if there is someone supervising or watching, this is not a bad thing, it is necessary. If mistakes happen to occur in one part of the work, and they are identified by the people watching and promptly fixed, and losses to the work are averted, is this not a great help? And so, when smart people do things, they like being supervised, observed, and having inquiries made by other people. If, by any chance, a mistake does occur, and these people are able to point it out, and the mistake can be promptly rectified, is this not a much desired outcome? No one in this world does not need the help of others. Only people with autism or depression like being on their own and not being in contact with or communicating with other people. When people suffer from autism or depression, they are no longer normal. They can no longer control themselves. If people’s minds and reason are normal, but they just don’t want to communicate with others, and they don’t want other people to know about anything they do, they want to do things secretly, privately, and operate behind the scenes, and they don’t listen to anything anyone else says, then such people are antichrists, are they not? They are antichrists” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Eight: They Would Have Others Submit Only to Them, Not the Truth or God (Part Two)). I realized that I was behaving as God had exposed. It was very hard for me to accept the advice and supervision of others in my duty. Even when I had difficulties, I never exposed them or let others know, because I felt that since this job was given to me, I was responsible, I had the final say, and I could do it my own way. I felt I knew how to do my duty well, and I didn’t need a supervisor, nor did I need someone to monitor me or give me advice. I considered the advice of others as an exposure of my inadequacies or as questioning my abilities, so I didn’t want to hear it. Now I saw that this was arrogance and foolishness. This was not the reason someone with normal humanity should possess. My arrogant nature made me not obey anyone, and never accept the supervision and advice of others. I always wanted to have the final say and water the newcomers according to my own will. In the past, I communicated with the newcomers in my own way, which was simply sending messages and rarely calling the newcomers. When some newcomers didn’t reply to me for a few days, I would put them aside, and continue to gather with the newcomers who wanted to communicate with me, and as a result, some newcomers couldn’t be watered in time, and some of them even quit the gathering group. Weren’t my actions the same as an antichrist? Antichrists don’t like to be supervised. They want to control everything by themselves, do things their own way or according to their own opinions, they never obey anyone or take advice from others, and they don’t cooperate with others to do their work well. I saw that I was walking the path of an antichrist, and only then was I afraid. I also learned from God’s words that everyone has their own shortcomings and deficiencies, so we need advice and help from others. We need to cooperate with people to perform our duties well. The supervisor was helping me by following up on my work and giving me suggestions. Also, it was beneficial to the work, but I didn’t want to accept it. As a result, I harmed the work of the church. This was a very serious matter.
After that, I read some of God’s words: “When anyone supervises or observes you a bit, or tries to understand you on a deep level, trying to have a heart-to-heart with you and find out what your state has been like during this time, and even sometimes when their attitude is a little harsher, and they prune, discipline, and reproach you a bit, this is all because they have a conscientious and responsible attitude toward the work of the house of God. You should not have any negative thoughts, and you shouldn’t react with negative emotions. What does it mean if you can accept it when others supervise, observe, and try to understand you? That, in your heart, you accept the scrutiny of God. If you do not accept people’s supervision, observation, and attempts to understand you, and you even push back against it, are you able to accept the scrutiny of God? The scrutiny of God is more detailed, in-depth, and accurate than when people try to understand you; God’s requirements are much more specific, exacting, and in-depth. If you cannot even accept being supervised by God’s chosen people, are your claims that you can accept God’s scrutiny not empty words? For you to be able to accept God’s scrutiny and examination, you must first accept being supervised by the house of God, the leaders and workers, or the brothers and sisters” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (7)). “If you have a God-fearing heart, then you will naturally be capable of accepting God’s scrutiny. But you must also learn to accept the supervision of God’s chosen people, which requires you to be broad-minded and magnanimous. If you see someone supervising you, inspecting your work, or checking up on you without your knowledge, and if you grow hotheaded, treat this person like an enemy and despise them, and even attack them and deal with them as a snake in the grass, as a traitor, longing for them to disappear, then this is trouble. Is it not extremely vile? What, then, is the difference between you and a devil king? Is this treating people fairly? If you act in an aboveboard and upright manner, is people checking up on you something to fear? If you are scared, it means that you’re hiding something. If you know in your heart that you have a problem, then you should accept the judgment and chastisement of God. This shows that you have reason. If you know you have a problem, but you don’t allow anyone to supervise you, inspect your work, or investigate your problem, then you are so devoid of reason, you are a person who rebels against and resists God, and in this case, your problem is even more serious. If God’s chosen people discern that you are an evil person or a disbeliever, then the consequences will be even more troublesome—you will be cleansed away and eliminated. Thus, those who are able to accept others supervising, inspecting, and checking up on them are the most possessed of reason; they have breadth of mind and normal humanity. When you discover that your approach is wrong or that you reveal a corrupt disposition, if you are able to open up to and communicate with people, this will help those around you to supervise you. It is certainly necessary to accept supervision, but the main thing is to pray to God, rely on Him, and constantly examine yourself. Especially when you have taken the wrong path or done something wrong, or when you are about to act in an arbitrary and dictatorial manner, and someone around you points it out and alerts you, you must accept that and hasten to reflect on yourself, and admit to your mistake, and correct it. This can keep you from setting foot on the path of antichrists. If there is someone helping and alerting you in this way, are you not being protected without knowing it? For you, this is a kind of protection” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. The Proper Fulfillment of Duty Requires Harmonious Cooperation). God’s words tell us clearly the importance and benefits of accepting others’ supervision. Before, I didn’t really understand the benefits of being supervised, which caused me to resist those who supervised me. I thought they were trying to control me or were showing contempt for me. In my mind, if someone came to me to learn about work, it was as if they felt I was irresponsible, lacking initiative, and incapable of working, and couldn’t do my duty well, or as well as others. So I was very resistant to others’ supervision of me. But from God’s words, I saw that my opinion was wrong and not in line with the truth. Everyone has their shortcomings in their work, and needs the help of other brothers and sisters to improve. But I refused to accept supervision. Could I ever correct the mistakes in my work and do my work better this way? It was very important for my brothers and sisters to supervise my work, because they were bearing a burden for the work and doing their duty. I shouldn’t have an attitude of silence and rejection toward their supervision. I should open up and tell them my difficulties and the actual situation in my work. That will be better for the work of the church. By accepting supervision, I can see my own deficiencies and reflect on whether I do my duty according to principles. Now, I understood God’s intention. Others often supervising and checking my work can stop me from acting on my own will and thus doing disturbing and disruptive things. This is indeed God’s protection for me.
I read another passage of God’s word: “Tell Me, is there anyone who’s perfect? Even if someone is very strong, and they are capable and talented, they still aren’t perfect. This is a fact. People must have this understanding, and it’s the correct attitude which people should have toward their own strong points and merits and their own weaknesses; it’s the rationality that people should possess. If you have this rationality, you can treat your own strong points and weaknesses correctly, as well as those of others, and in this way you’ll be able to cooperate with others harmoniously. If you understand this aspect of the truth and can enter this aspect of the truth reality, then you can get along amicably with the brothers and sisters, and borrow from their strong points to offset your weaknesses. In this way, no matter what duty you’re performing or what you’re doing, you will get better and better at it and you’ll have God’s blessing” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). Through God’s word, I understood that everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, and that there are no perfect people in this world. No matter how strong people are, they still have shortcomings and need help from others. No matter what duty we do in the church, it is inseparable from the help and cooperation of others. We have been corrupted so deeply by Satan that we always act by our corrupt dispositions, so we need the reminders and supervision of our brothers and sisters to avoid deviating from principles and reduce our mistakes. When others came to me to understand my problems at work, I should have used it as an opportunity to improve myself, and learned from their strengths to make up for my weaknesses. This would have helped me and the work of the church. I also realized that I was no better than anyone else, including the sister who oversaw my work. I should accept the guidance and advice of others, correct my deviations and mistakes, and dare to reveal my own weaknesses and seek help from others. This is being a person with normal reason and humanity. After that, I started to accept my sister’s advice, and when she asked questions or wanted to know about any aspect of the newcomers’ situations, I discussed it openly and told her in detail. Practicing like this, I became more effective in my duty.
One day, my sister asked me about the newcomers’ situation. I answered her questions without reservation and gave details about the reasons for some newcomers’ irregular attendance. She reminded me of some key points, and I wrote them down and put them all into practice. I saw that it was very good to take advice from others, which was beneficial both for me and the work of the church. In the future, I am willing to accept the supervision of others and do my duty well.