By Xiaoxiao, China

In early 2022, I was responsible for the work of ten churches. Of these, there were three churches where the caliber of the leaders and deacons was rather poor, and the church life wasn’t good. In addition, several other churches were short of leaders and deacons, so I hurriedly organized the brothers and sisters to conduct elections. As the brothers and sisters didn’t have a good grasp of the principles of elections, the election work progressed extremely slowly. Later, the upper leaders arranged a gathering with us to find out the reason for the slow progress of the elections. They also fellowshipped about the importance of electing leaders and deacons. When my ears heard this, my heart grew anxious. I thought to myself, “The churches I am responsible for are lacking so many leaders and deacons. Does this not demonstrate that my work capability is too poor? What will the leaders think of me? This won’t do. I must quickly hold by-elections to fill the vacant leader and deacon positions. This will show everyone that I can still do some real work.” Afterward, I hurriedly organized elections for leaders and deacons, but didn’t fellowship about the principles for electing leaders and deacons in detail. I thought that as long as the elected people were relatively proactive in doing their duty and could endure suffering and pay a price, that would be OK. After a period of hard work, the churches gradually elected leaders and deacons. When I saw these “results” I was very happy. I thought that nobody would question my work capability now. However, what I didn’t expect was that two sisters later submitted multiple reports that one of the newly elected leaders, Brother Chen Lin, had no sense of justice, had a grave people-pleaser disposition, and was not suitable to be a leader. I thought to myself, “Everyone has corruptions and deficiencies. Your requirements are too high. If we went with your standards for weighing people up, when would we ever be able to fill all the positions for leaders and deacons?” I thought that there wasn’t any problem with electing Chen Lin, and the issue was that those two sisters couldn’t treat people fairly. So, I wrote a letter to the sisters to fellowship with them and try to convince them. However, within a few days, the sisters wrote to me again and said, “Chen Lin’s people-pleaser disposition is very serious. He does not protect the work of the church, and he is not suitable to be a leader.” But at the time, I was living in a corrupt disposition, and urgently wanted to get the leaders and workers elected, and so I didn’t pay this matter any heed.

Not long afterward, I received a letter from the upper leaders that said, “Chen Lin’s people-pleaser disposition is very serious. He does not protect the work of the church, and even now, he shows no sign of repentance. According to the principles, he is not suitable to be a leader.” The moment I read the letter, I realized that the sisters had previously sent several letters to report the problems with Chen Lin, but I hadn’t taken them seriously and hadn’t sought, and I had even felt extremely resistant toward it. I saw that I had been too arrogant and self-righteous! I hadn’t accepted the suggestions of others, and acted in accordance with my own will. At the time, I felt so ashamed that I wanted the ground to swallow me up. My face burned with shame, and my mind started to fill with racing thoughts, “I’m done for. Now, the upper leaders know that I am not doing my duty in accordance with principle. They might investigate to find out about my performance. Won’t I be dismissed in that case?” Those few days, I felt tense and uneasy. I remembered the words of God: “If you have the opportunity to act according to your own will, you also have the opportunity to seek the truth, and should use the truth as a principle for your actions” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. What It Means to Pursue the Truth (15)). As I pondered God’s words, my heart felt in such pain it was as if I was being stabbed by a dagger. Yeah, I had the opportunity to seek the truth, but because I did not pursue the truth, I didn’t seek the principles and acted in accordance with my own will in my duties. This disrupted and disturbed the work. During this period, I had been eager for quick success with the elections and had not sought the principles, which caused the wrong person to be elected. When my brothers and sisters pointed this out, I didn’t reflect on myself and correct the problem. How was this doing my duty? However, I had not gained any understanding of my nature and the path I was walking on, and soon afterward, my old problem recurred. During that time, the upper leaders sent a letter to say that each church needed to provide some people of talent to do duties in other areas, contributing their bit to the gospel work. Afterward, I hurriedly checked through the candidates. When I read the list of names that I had checked over, I felt really happy. I couldn’t help but think, “Is it not the case that providing more people is a stronger demonstration of my work capability? I must put in the effort so that the upper leaders can see that I can still do some real work.” At the time, there was one brother on the list who had an arrest record because of his belief in God. It was unclear if he was wanted, and if it would be dangerous for him to go on a long journey. I felt a bit uneasy, but in order to provide more talented people so that the leaders could see that my work delivered results, I arranged for this brother to do duties in another area. I didn’t expect that he would be arrested on his way to do his duties. Soon afterward, the upper leaders wrote and said that several of the people we had provided were unsuited to doing duties in other areas. They reminded us to do things according to the principles and not to provide people based on enthusiasm. Reading the letter, I wanted the ground to swallow me up. I just really wanted to crawl into a hole in the ground. Clutching my heart, I asked myself, “Is this doing my duty? This is blatantly a disruption and disturbance!” In anguish, I came before God to pray, asking God to enlighten me and lead me to understand my own corrupt disposition.

Later, I read the words of God: “No matter how busy they seem on the outside, how much time they spend running about the streets, how much they sacrifice, give up, and expend, can the kind of people who only ever speak and act for the sake of status be considered those who pursue the truth? Absolutely not. For status, they will pay any price. For status, they will suffer any hardship. For status, they will stop at nothing. They try to find dirt on others, frame them, or give them a hard time, trampling other people underfoot. They don’t even fear the risk of punishment and retribution; they act for the sake of status without any thought of the consequences. What do people such as this pursue? (Status.) Where is the similarity with Paul? (The pursuit of the crown.) They pursue the crown of righteousness, they pursue status, fame, and gain, and treat the pursuit of status, fame, and gain as legitimate pursuit, rather than pursuing the truth. What is the foremost characteristic of such people? It is that in all respects, they act for the sake of status, fame, and gain” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only in the Practice of the Truth Is There Life Entry). “For antichrists, if their reputation or status is attacked and taken away, it is a matter even more serious than trying to take their life. No matter how many sermons they listen to or how many of God’s words they read, they will not feel sadness or regret over never having practiced the truth and having taken the path of antichrists, nor over their possession of the nature essence of antichrists. Instead, they are always racking their brains for ways to gain status and increase their reputation. It can be said that everything antichrists do is done to show off in front of others, and is not done before God. Why do I say this? It is because such people are so in love with status that they treat it as their very life, as their lifelong goal. Moreover, because they love status so much, they never believe in the existence of truth, and it can even be said that they harbor absolutely no belief in God’s existence. Thus, no matter how they calculate to gain reputation and status, and no matter how they try to use false appearances to trick people and God, in the depths of their hearts, they have no awareness or reproach, let alone any anxiety. In their consistent pursuit of reputation and status, they also wantonly deny what God has done. Why do I say that? In the depths of antichrists’ hearts, they believe, ‘All reputation and status are earned through one’s own efforts. Only by gaining a firm foothold among people and gaining reputation and status can they enjoy god’s blessings. Life only has value when people gain absolute power and status. Only this is living like a human. By contrast, it would be useless to live in the way that is spoken of in the word of god—to submit to god’s sovereignty and arrangements in everything, to willingly stand in the position of a created being, and to live like a normal person—no one would look up to a person like that. A person’s status, reputation, and happiness must be won through their own struggles; they must be fought for and seized with a positive and proactive attitude. No one else will give them to you—waiting around passively can only lead to failure.’ This is how antichrists calculate. This is the disposition of antichrists. If you hope for antichrists to accept the truth, admit mistakes, and have real repentance, it is impossible—they absolutely cannot do it. Antichrists have the nature essence of Satan, and they hate the truth, so no matter where they go, even if they go to the ends of the earth, their ambition of pursuing reputation and status will never change, and neither will their views on things, or the path that they walk” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part Three)). God’s words expose that antichrists regard reputation and status as being more important than life itself. No matter what they do, they always try to bolster their reputation. They treat reputation and status as the objective and direction of their pursuit, and are willing to pay any price for status. They do things in accordance with their own will, and do not seek the truth principles in the slightest. They just do things in the way that is most beneficial to their own fame, gain, and status. Was my behavior during this time not exactly like this? Although on the surface, I could bear hardships and pay a price in doing my duty, everything I did was for the sake of fame, gain, and status. Whether it was electing leaders and deacons or providing talented people, I was eager for quick success. I wanted to show my brothers and sisters that I achieved results in doing my duty and that I had work capability, and so win everyone’s admiration and approval. When suitable leaders or deacons couldn’t be elected, I realized that I should have fellowshipped with my brothers and sisters about the principles of elections, but in order to show the upper leaders that I could complete elections for leaders and deacons quickly, I was too eager for quick success, and did not conduct the elections according to the principles. When my sisters pointed out that we had elected an unsuitable person, I didn’t accept this, and even thought that their requirements were too stringent. I then thought of ways to convince them and prove that the people we had elected were suitable. As a leader, for me to act in contravention of principles to protect my own fame, gain, and status in a matter as important as a church election, was flagrantly deceiving and resisting God. In addition, in the matter of providing talented people, a person who truly showed consideration for God’s intentions would be eager to meet God’s urgent needs, and provide eligible people to contribute their bit toward the gospel of the kingdom. However, in order to show people that I had work capability, I put some people I blatantly didn’t have a clear understanding of on the list just to make up the numbers. Just like this brother with an arrest record. I wasn’t clear about his situation, and so to be safe I needed to continue to observe what was happening with him. However, because I just wanted to provide more people to preserve my own face and status, the brother ended up being arrested. I saw how I pursued reputation and status and did not work in accordance with principle, and even ignored the safety of my brothers and sisters in order to preserve my own face and status, to say nothing of not considering the interests of the church. I harmed my brothers and sisters. I was walking the path of antichrists. If I did not repent, I would be spurned and eliminated by God.

Later, I read more of God’s words: “Some people wave the banner of doing the work of the church yet pursue their own personal fame, gain, and status, run their own operation, create their own little group, their own little kingdom—is this kind of person doing their duty? All the work they do essentially disrupts, disturbs, and impairs the work of the church. What is the consequence of their pursuit of fame, gain, and status? First, this affects how God’s chosen people eat and drink God’s word normally and understand the truth, it hinders their life entry, stops them from entering the right track of faith in God, and leads them onto the wrong path—which harms the chosen ones, and brings them to ruin. And what does it ultimately do to the work of the church? It is disturbance, impairment, and dismantlement. This is the consequence brought about by people’s pursuit of fame, gain, and status. When they do their duty in this way, can this not be defined as walking the path of an antichrist? When God asks that people put aside fame, gain, and status, it is not that He is depriving people of the right to choose; rather, it is because, while pursuing fame, gain, and status, people disrupt and disturb the work of the church and the life entry of God’s chosen people, and can even have an influence on more people’s eating and drinking God’s words, understanding the truth, and thus achieving God’s salvation. This is an indisputable fact. When people pursue their own fame, gain, and status, it is certain that they will not pursue the truth and that they will not faithfully fulfill their duty. They will only speak and act for the sake of fame, gain, and status, and all the work they do, without the least exception, is for those things’ sake. To behave and act in such a way is, without question, to walk the path of antichrists; it is a disruption and disturbance of God’s work, and all its various consequences are hindering the spread of the kingdom gospel and the carrying out of God’s will within the church. So, one may say with certainty that the path walked by those who pursue fame, gain, and status is the path of resistance against God. It is intentional resistance against Him, naysaying Him—it is to cooperate with Satan in resisting God and standing in opposition to Him. This is the nature of people’s pursuit of fame, gain, and status. The problem with people pursuing their own interests is that the goals they pursue are the goals of Satan—they are goals that are wicked and unjust. When people pursue personal interests such as fame, gain, and status, they unwittingly become a tool of Satan, they become an outlet for Satan, and, moreover, they become an embodiment of Satan. They play a negative role in the church; toward the work of the church, and toward the normal church life and normal pursuit of God’s chosen people, the effect they have is to disturb and impair; they have an adverse and negative effect” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part One)). When comparing my own behavior with that of the antichrists exposed by God, I saw they were the same. I took the opportunities presented by electing leaders and deacons and providing talented people to engage in personal enterprises, trying to show people that I had work capability and achieve my aim of making people admire me. Although on the surface it appeared as if I was doing my duty with great passion, inside, I was filled with my own ambitions and desires. In order to pursue fame, gain, and status, I was perfunctory and engaged in deception in the important work of the church. What difference was there between this behavior of mine and that of an antichrist? Both the elections of leaders and deacons and the provision of talented people are done for the sake of the work of the church and the spreading of the gospel. The aim is absolutely not to elect some unsuitable people to make up the numbers. If unsuitable people are elected to shoulder the work, not only will this fail to advance the gospel work, it will even constitute disruptions and disturbances, bringing harm to the brothers and sisters. I regarded fame, gain, and status as being more important than anything else. I simply didn’t take my duty to heart at all, let alone have any hint of a God-fearing heart. The type of attitude to my duty truly incurs God’s loathing! If I didn’t repent, I would be eliminated by God. Previously, I had always believed that the faster the leaders and deacons were elected, the better, and the more talented people were provided, the more God approved of me. This view is absurd. What God values is whether, in doing our duty, we show consideration for God’s intentions and do things in accordance with principle.

Afterward, I prayed to God to seek a path of practice. I read the words of God: “No matter what duty you are performing, you must seek the truth principles, understand God’s intentions, know what His requirements are with regard to the duty in question and understand what you should accomplish through that duty. Only in so doing can you carry out your work according to principle. In performing your duty, you absolutely cannot go by your personal preferences, doing whatever you would like to do, whatever you would be happy doing, or whatever would make you look good. This is acting in accordance with one’s own will. If you rely on your own personal preferences in the performance of your duty, thinking this is what God demands, and that this is what will make God happy, and if you forcibly impose your personal preferences on God or practice them as though they were the truth, observing them as if they were the truth principles, then is this not a mistake? This is not performing your duty, and performing your duty in this way will not be remembered by God. Some people do not understand the truth, and they do not know what it means to fulfill their duties well. They feel that they have made effort and put their heart into it, rebelled against their flesh and suffered, so why then can they never fulfill their duty satisfactorily? Why is God always dissatisfied? Where have these people gone wrong? Their mistake was to not seek out God’s requirements, and instead act according to their own ideas—this is the reason. They treated their own desires, preferences, and selfish motives as the truth, and they treated them as though they were what God loved, as though they were His standards and requirements. They saw what they believed to be correct, good, and beautiful to be the truth; this is wrong. In fact, even though people might sometimes think something is right and that it accords with the truth, that does not necessarily mean that it accords with God’s intentions. The more people think something is right, the more cautious they should be and the more they should seek the truth to see whether what they are thinking meets God’s requirements. If it precisely runs counter to His requirements and counter to His words, then it is unacceptable even if you think it is right, it is but a human thought, and it will not accord with the truth no matter how right you think it is. Whether something is right or wrong must be determined based on God’s words. No matter how right you think something is, unless there is a basis for it in God’s words, it is wrong and you must discard it. It is acceptable only when it accords with the truth, and only by upholding the truth principles in this way can your performance of your duty be up to standard. Just what is duty? It is a commission entrusted by God to people, it is part of the work of God’s house, and it is a responsibility and obligation that should be borne by every one of God’s chosen people. Is duty your career? Is it a personal family matter? Is it fair to say that once you have been given a duty, this duty becomes your personal business? That is absolutely not the case. So how should you fulfill your duty? By acting in accordance with God’s requirements, words, and standards, and by basing your behavior on the truth principles rather than on human subjective desires” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only by Seeking the Truth Principles Can One Perform One’s Duty Well). From God’s words I understood that in order to do our duty well and satisfy God, we must first set our intentions straight, let go of personal ambitions and desires, and not act for the sake of fame, gain, and status. Neither should we regard our own ideas and preferences as the truth principles. Instead, we should seek God’s requirements, and do our duty in accordance with God’s intentions. Only in this way can we do things in a principled manner. In the house of God, no matter which aspect the duty is in, there are truth principles related to it. For example, when the church elects leaders and deacons, we must seek the principles and standards for electing leaders and deacons. First, they must be people who pursue the truth, have good humanity, and have a sense of justice. The corrupt dispositions of some brothers and sisters may be a bit more serious, but they can still accept the truth, and they can understand themselves following pruning, and strive toward God’s requirements. Electing this type of person as a leader aligns with the principles. In contrast, some people have good minds, gifts, and outward enthusiasm, and can endure suffering in doing their duty, but do not have any life entry of their own; in doing their duty, they blindly pursue fame, gain, and status, spouting words and doctrines to mislead people. When they are pruned, they still do not understand themselves. If this type of person is a leader, they will be unable to solve any problems, and they will only harm the brothers and sisters and the work of the church.

Later, we recommended Sister Li Ling go to another area to do duties. Just a few days before the sister was about to leave, some brothers and sisters wrote a letter of report to say that Li Ling didn’t bear a burden in doing her duty, didn’t do real work, and was quite arrogant. She always disliked the two sisters she worked with, and often judged and belittled them in front of other brothers and sisters, which resulted in others forming prejudices against them. This created a disturbance in the team, and the two sisters became negative as a result. I hurriedly wrote to the sisters who handled the letter of report, and asked them to expose the problems with Li Ling in a simple manner so that Li Ling could get on her way quickly. Afterward, I realized that my state was incorrect. Was the reason I was in such a hurry really to provide talented people to the house of God? Was it not because I thought that providing one more talented person would make me look good? I remembered the words of God: “Performing your duty isn’t actually difficult, nor is it hard to do so loyally, and to an acceptable standard. You don’t have to sacrifice your life or do anything special or difficult, you merely have to follow the words and instructions of God honestly and steadfastly, not adding your own ideas or running your own operation, but walking the path of pursuing the truth. If people can do this, they will basically have a human semblance. When they have true submission to God, and have become an honest person, they will possess the likeness of a true human being” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. The Proper Fulfillment of Duty Requires Harmonious Cooperation). From God’s words, I saw that since duty is not a personal matter, but a commission from God, we should do it in accordance with God’s requirements and the truth principles. Only in this way will we be in accordance with God’s intentions. I should let go of my intentions and stop paying attention to whether others admire me or not. I must pay attention to seeking the truth and doing my duty well in accordance with the principles. This is attending to the proper work and walking the proper path. If, for the sake of my own fame, gain, and status, I didn’t seriously verify and address the problems with Li Ling, that would be acting in clear violation of the principles. When I thought this, I realized that I couldn’t continue to take my own reputation and status into account, and hurriedly wrote a letter asking my brothers and sisters to verify the letter of report. After verification, it was confirmed that Li Ling was incapable of treating people fairly, that she was prone to belittling and judging people, and that she could not harmoniously cooperate with people, and did not bear a burden in doing her duty. When Li Ling’s problems were exposed and she was dismissed, she did not reflect on herself, did not accept it, and expressed dissatisfaction. Therefore, we did not let her do duties in another area. Through my experience, I realized that in doing our duties, we have to set our intentions straight, let go of our own desires, and do things in accordance with the truth principles. Only then will our heart feel at ease and at peace.