By Chen Jing, China

It was after 5 p.m. on May 1, 2003. I was walking home after a gathering when I saw Sister Li Nan standing next to the public phone. She waved to me, beckoning me over. She looked anxious, as though she wanted to say something to me, so I hurried over. She said in a suppressed whisper that she’d paged another sister, but the sister hadn’t got back to her. As we were talking, the public phone rang. I thought it’d be the sister calling back, so I answered it. To my surprise, it was a man’s voice. I realized that something wasn’t right, so I quickly hung up. Li Nan and I had barely spoken anything more to each other when we saw a green jeep come to a halt with a crunching noise not far from where we stood. Four or five plain-clothed policemen leaped out and came running straight over, shouting as they ran, “Here they are! Hurry! It’s them! The Almighty God believers!” Faced with a sudden arrest, my heart was caught in my throat, and I continually prayed silently to God, saying, “Dear God, please protect my heart, let me not be a Judas.” When I finished praying, I realized I still had my pager and IC card, so I dropped them into the ditch beside me when they weren’t looking. I then realized that I had the records from the gathering, so I quickly pulled it out, tore it apart, and threw it on the ground. One of the policemen saw and yelled, “What’s that woman tearing up?” Another policeman furiously snatched up the torn bits of paper and shoved me and Li Nan over to their jeep, swearing at us the whole time.

At the police station, we were interrogated separately. When I got into the room, I saw three policemen standing behind the table. They looked at me like I was an enemy and ground their teeth audibly. I felt a bit nervous and kept praying to God, “Dear God, please keep me from becoming a Judas. No matter how they question me, I must not sell out my brothers and sisters.” After praying, my heart gradually calmed down. A policeman began barking questions at me, “What is your name? Where do you live? How old are you? How long have you believed in God? Who are your leaders? How many people are in the church? …” I only gave them my real name and home address and said nothing about the church. One of the policemen fiercely banged the table and said, “Speak! Or we’ll have to sort you out!” I said nothing, and the three of them took turns to question me continuously for several hours. I thought to myself, “They look as though they won’t let up until I give them something. Maybe I could give them the name of someone who was expelled? That person doesn’t belong to the church.” But then God’s words came to my mind: “Toward those who showed Me not the slightest loyalty during times of tribulation, I shall be merciful no more, for My mercy only extends so far. I have no liking, furthermore, for anyone who has once betrayed Me, much less do I like to associate with those who sell out the interests of their friends. This is My disposition, regardless of who the person may be” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Prepare Sufficient Good Deeds for Your Destination). God’s disposition is unoffendable. God detests those who betray Him the most. The police kept questioning me to get me to sell out the church. If I said one thing, they’d surely keep on pressing for more information. There was no way I could do anything to betray God. Thinking of this, I told them nothing. Seeing that I still wouldn’t talk, a middle-aged policeman with a lecherous grin approached me and held my chin with his hand. He said, “Maybe you’ll talk after I give you a kiss? Or how about we spend the night together?” I was especially disgusted at how wicked they were, and I said really angrily, “You’re a police officer. How can you talk like that? That’s how thugs talk!” One of the others walked over and, stretching his neck out and panting, yelled, “Are you going to talk or not? If not, then we’ll beat you to death! We’ll give you a taste of our batons!” He then went to get his baton. I grew afraid then and in my heart I hurriedly called on God to give me courage and faith and to keep me from becoming a Judas. One of the policemen glared at me and rushed straight over. I instinctively shielded my chest with my arms but he still dealt me a vicious blow that left me reeling. He said fiercely, “I’ll teach you for not talking! Now see what I can do to you!” Holding his baton, another policeman shouted, “I’ll teach you for not fessing up. See how you like this!” As he said this, he lifted his baton and brought it violently down on me. I instinctively spun to the right and his baton came down heavily on the left side of my head. After he hit me, I just had a humming noise in my head, then I collapsed to the floor and passed out. I came to not knowing how long I’d been unconscious for. My mind was completely blank and I couldn’t remember anything. I thought, “How did I get here?” My head felt both numb and with a dull pain. I lay on the floor and couldn’t move. All I could feel was that my right hand had gone limp, I couldn’t feel the right side of my body, and I couldn’t control it, as though that half of my body was paralyzed. After a long while, I finally remembered that I’d been arrested for believing in God. Seeing how I was, the police stopped interrogating me. They lifted me up, took me to the detention jail, and threw me down on the ground.

As soon as I arrived at the detention jail, several sisters gathered around me, and seeing that I’d been beaten like this, they said angrily, “How can they be so vicious? How could they beat someone who was perfectly fine and make them like this? They totally have no humanity! They really are a gang of devils!” The sisters rubbed my hands and legs and comforted me. I was so moved I began to cry. I knew this was God’s love and my heart was warmed. There were eight sisters locked up with me. Xin Ming was one of them. The two of us were in the same cell. When I first came to the detention jail, I was still relatively clear-headed, my speech and reactions were normal, but I just couldn’t easily move the right side of my body. I couldn’t stretch my right arm out straight, and I’d have to hold it like I was carrying a basket. I couldn’t wash my face properly, and I couldn’t even squeeze toothpaste out of the tube. At mealtimes, I could only use the spoon with my left hand. When walking, I could only drag my right foot, as though half my body was paralyzed. My sisters were afraid that I’d end up paralyzed, so they helped me to exercise every day during the noontime break. One sister would hold my arm up, another would help rub my arm to get the blood flowing, while another sister helped move my leg, using her foot to push me forward bit by bit or else squatting down and moving my leg forward with her hands. Seeing that my body had come to such a state, I felt really weak, thinking, “I’ve become paralyzed on one side of my body, I can’t look after myself, and I’m burdening my sisters with their having to care for me. Haven’t I become a useless person?” I got very upset thinking about this. Feeling negative and weak, I thought of a passage of God’s words: “The utmost faith and love are required from us in this stage of work. We may stumble from the slightest carelessness, for this stage of work is different from all the previous ones: What God is perfecting is people’s faith, which is both invisible and intangible. What God does is convert words to faith, to love, and to life” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. The Path … (8)). God’s words gave me faith. God had allowed this to happen to me in order to perfect my faith. Although the police had crippled me, by God using the sisters to care for and look after me, fellowshipping God’s words with me, I experienced His love. Although I had no idea when I might recover, seeing God constantly guiding me gave me faith to keep going.

At the detention jail, the sisters helped me exercise every day. They dressed me in the morning, they handed me steamed corn bread at mealtimes, and at night they helped me lay out my bedding. They also often fellowshipped God’s words with me and sang hymns for me. I was so moved seeing them look after me like this. And I hated the police so much for leaving me crippled like this so that even doing normal things was difficult. Despite this, they still made me sit from the early morning until 7 p.m. every day like everyone else and my whole body felt cold through and through. At night they even put me on duty for an hour, but the sisters took turns to take my place on duty in order to help me. One month later, the CCP sentenced me to two years of re-education through labor for “disturbing social order.” I was so upset. I was half paralyzed and couldn’t look after myself, and I was like a useless person—how could I possibly get through these two long years? The sisters comforted me saying, “We have God to rely on and He will help us. We must have faith in God!” While being transported to prison, the sisters sang many hymns. One of them was “I Wish to See the Day of God’s Glory,” which moved me a lot: “With God’s entrustment in my heart, I will never bend the knee to Satan. Though our heads may roll and our blood may spill, the backbones of God’s people cannot be bent. I will bear resounding testimony for God, and humiliate devils and Satan. Pain and hardships are predestined by God, and I will be loyal and submit to Him unto death. Never again will I cause God to weep or worry. I will offer up my love and loyalty to God and complete my mission to glorify Him” (Follow the Lamb and Sing New Songs). While listening, I felt very encouraged and started singing along, and the more I sang, the greater my faith became. Although I’d been crippled and sentenced to prison, this suffering had a meaning. With this suffering I could bear witness for God and humiliate the devil Satan. This was a glorious thing. Thinking this, I no longer felt negative and I became willing to submit to God’s orchestrations and arrangements. The more we sang, the more moved we felt, and some wept as they sang—not because they were homesick or distressed about being sentenced, but because they felt happiness and joy in their hearts and felt it was so glorious to be able to bear witness to God!

The prison guards there saw that I couldn’t do manual labor and didn’t want to take me in. They discussed it for a long while before reluctantly taking me in. They set me to work in the workshop. When the supervisor saw that I couldn’t do anything, I was sent to clean the toilets. Because I had no feeling in my right side, I walked leaning entirely on my left leg and could only walk with difficulty, dragging my right leg along. When mopping the floor, I crouched on my left leg and dragged my right leg, mopping with difficulty using only my left hand. Whenever I finished mopping one area, it took a great effort to stand back up. I cleaned every day from early morning to 10 p.m. I felt wronged inside, thinking, “Having me work with my body in this state, they really don’t treat people as humans!” What made me even more angry was that the prison guards also made me perform morning exercises with the prisoners in the training team every day. We had to run, and with me standing in the middle of the team, when everyone started running, they’d knock me down. Despite this, they still wouldn’t let me stop. I could never keep up with the exercises, so the department head punished me by making me walk around the yard. I couldn’t raise my right leg, so I had to drag it as I walked. After one long lap of the yard, I was too tired to go on, and the sides of my shoe were worn through. As time went on, I couldn’t stand it anymore and felt very weak inside. Xin Ming fellowshipped with me, giving me encouragement and comfort, and she recited a passage of God’s words to me. Almighty God says, “You must suffer hardship for the truth, you must give yourself to the truth, you must endure humiliation for the truth, and to gain more of the truth you must undergo more suffering. This is what you should do. … You should pursue all that is beautiful and good, and you should pursue a path in life that is more meaningful” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. The Experiences of Peter: His Knowledge of Chastisement and Judgment). Listening to God’s words, I understood that through this suffering, God wanted to instill the truth into me. Enduring this suffering had meaning and I should experience it with faith. Although I was crippled and still had to work, God was with me, and the sisters were beside me, often fellowshipping on God’s words with me. I felt that God had never left me. I felt God’s love.

Because I hadn’t been given any treatment, my condition got worse day by day. I dared not move the right side of my body, as when I did, it hurt unbearably. I couldn’t get up from a lying position and had to let the sisters help me up. My right hand became really stiff and I couldn’t even rinse my mouth when brushing my teeth. Xin Ming pleaded with the department head and they finally stopped making me clean the toilets. But they wouldn’t let me lie down. Every day I had to sit for over 10 hours before they’d let me sleep. I endured the pain and leaned weakly against the wall, not daring to move. Later, my condition got worse and worse. My left hand began to shake when holding a spoon and I dropped my food everywhere at mealtimes. My mind was completely blank, as though I had no thoughts. Apart from knowing I believed in God and wanting to hear sisters fellowshipping God’s words, I knew nothing else at all. My memories were always fragmented. I’d forget things that had just happened and could remember things only temporarily. My brain reacted slowly and I’d stare blankly at things. Sometimes I’d laugh stupidly without knowing it. Only when a sister told me to stop would I have some awareness and stop laughing. My IQ at that time was like a young child’s, and I would speak brokenly and very slowly. I’d often sit slumped on the bed, staring at my hands and feet, and often giggle without knowing it. One time, Xin Ming got back to the cell after finishing work and I started grinning at her like I’d seen a relative. She patted me on the shoulder and asked, “What are you smiling at? Do you know what my name is?” I just kept grinning, shook my head and said, “I … don’t … know.” A little while later, I remembered and said, “Your … name … is … Ming.” But no matter how much I thought, I just couldn’t remember her surname. The head of the labor camp saw my condition and was afraid I’d die in the camp and he’d have to take responsibility, so he allowed the camp’s doctor to come to give me an infusion. But the doctor gave me medicine randomly without checking me over first. As a result, not only did my condition not get better, but it actually got worse. My hands and feet began to swell up, I couldn’t move my fingers, and my toes went red and swollen like I had frostbite. They had no choice but to take me to the provincial hospital. The examination found that I had a subdural accumulation of fluid caused by a head injury, which was compressing the nerves and causing hemiplegia. The doctor said that if the fluid was not surgically extracted in time, I could die. But my family couldn’t afford the operation, so they just brought me back to the labor camp. On the way back, I faintly heard them say, “She can’t afford treatment but we can’t let her die here. We should give her medical parole.” My memory was intermittent and I wasn’t overly worried about anything. I knew only that I believed in God, and entrusted my life and death to God.

When I got back to the camp, they put me in a different cell and I couldn’t contact the sisters I’d been with. I was in great pain during that time. I just sat on my bed watching the doorway, hoping to see a sister. When I was with the sisters, they’d often fellowship God’s words with me and encourage me, but now I felt so lonely and lost. My brain wasn’t working very well, and I couldn’t remember God’s words, nor could I hear the sisters fellowshipping God’s words with me—did God not want me anymore? I felt so much pain and wondered what meaning there was to my life without God. Then I thought of dying. I stopped eating. Someone from the cell went to find Xin Ming, and she came over to me when the supervisor wasn’t around. I was so happy to see her. She came over to my bed and patted me. As she helped rub my hand and arm, she asked, “Why aren’t you eating? Will that do your health any good?” Through my tears, I said, “I … missed … you. They … put … me here … where there’s … no one … to fellowship … God’s words … with me. I’m … so … lonely. Does God … not want me … anymore? My life … no longer has … any meaning.” Xin Ming comforted me, saying, “God still wants us. He’s just waiting for us to bear witness for Him! We have to live well!” She then recited a hymn of God’s words to me: “I Am Determined to Love God.” “Every matter, everything—it is all in Your hands; my fate is in Your hands and You hold my very life in Your hand. Now, I seek to love You, and regardless of whether You let me love You, regardless of how Satan disturbs, I am determined to love You. I myself am willing to seek after God and to follow Him. Now even if God wants to abandon me, I will still follow Him. Whether He wants me or not, I will still love Him, and in the end, I must gain Him. I offer up my heart to God, and no matter what He does, I will follow Him for my entire life. No matter what, I must love God and I must gain Him; I will not rest until I have gained Him” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Genuine Love for God Is Spontaneous). Xin Ming said to me, “We must have true faith in God! No matter what happens to us, we must follow Him till the end. The resolve we had before must not waver. Only this is truly loving God and having true faith. Now the situation is different and the sisters aren’t here, so you think God doesn’t want you. Aren’t you misunderstanding God? Where’s your faith? God has arranged this situation for us hoping that we will stand firm in our testimony for Him. We must keep our faith in God!” After Xin Ming’s fellowship, I knew that it wasn’t that God didn’t want me, and that I had to live well and couldn’t be a coward. I had to follow God till the end no matter what. I had hope again, my heart brightened, and I was happy again. When Xin Ming was about to leave, I grabbed her hand, unwilling to let her go, and said, “I … want to … hear … God’s words.” She said she’d come back to see me and enjoined me to pray more to God when things got difficult, and God would hear me. After she’d gone, I prayed to God, saying, “Dear … God, I feel … so … alone, with … no one … here, my … brain … doesn’t work … properly, I want … to hear … Your words, please … give me … someone, I want … to hear … Your words.”

The day after I said this prayer, the department head said, “Chen, here’s a cellmate for you. She can keep you company.” When I saw it was sister He Li I was thrilled! I knew that God had heard my prayer. He Li was happy to see me too. Hugging me, she said, “I heard you’d been hurt badly from the beatings, and I’ve been wanting to see you, and I finally get to see you now!” He Li looked after me attentively every day, helped me to exercise, chatted with me, and she often fellowshipped on God’s words with me, encouraging and comforting me. Over time, my mind began to respond, and I could interact with her. One day, I looked at my hands and said to He Li, “When … will my condition … be better? Will it … get better?” She then gave me fellowship, “Hasn’t God said these words? ‘Almighty God is an all-powerful physician! To dwell in sickness is to be sick, but to dwell in the spirit is to be well. So long as you still have one breath, God will not let you die’ (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Utterances of Christ in the Beginning, Chapter 6). ‘While undergoing trials, it is normal for people to be weak, or to have negativity within them, or to lack clarity on God’s intentions or their path for practice. But in any case, you must have faith in God’s work, and not deny God, just like Job’ (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Those Who Are to Be Made Perfect Must Undergo Refinement). We must live by God’s words and not fall into despair. God is almighty, and whether we recover from illness is in His hands. We absolutely must not complain! Job never lost faith in God through such tremendous trials, so we have to believe in God’s words, and have true faith in Him!” I felt so happy, listening to this. I thought God’s words were great.

It was around December when I got a little better. I was washing my feet when I suddenly noticed that my right leg and foot were white. My toenails on that foot hadn’t grown for six months. I’d never noticed this before. I thought, “My arm and leg are showing no signs of recovery. With the way they look, I’m sure to die. I’m only 41. Will I really die like this?” I felt a bit heavy-hearted and prayed to God, “Dear God, I’ve been arrested because of my faith in You. Even if I die, I won’t regret it. If I can keep living, then I’ll go on believing in You!” I prayed these words intermittently in my heart. After the prayer, I felt my blood surge in my body and felt a little hot. I hadn’t felt this before. The next day, when He Li was helping me to the toilet, I found that I could lift my right leg a little. Before that, He Li had always had to pull my leg over the threshold whenever I went to the toilet. This time, she was just about to bend down, but before she could pull my leg, I managed to do it myself! When we saw this, we were both so thrilled, and I felt so grateful to God. On December 26, my medical parole was approved. I didn’t expect this to happen. At that time, only two people could be given medical parole, but there were three severely ill people in the prison, so I was surprised I was given it. The supervisor said, “Chen, your husband is here to pick you up. You can go home. You’ll serve a sentence of one year at home. You’re not allowed to preach the gospel and we’ll notify your local government to keep an eye on you.” I was so happy. Xin Ming was happy for me too. She hurriedly helped me get my things and supported me out of the cell. My husband had to pay the labor camp a bond of 2,000 yuan before I was able to leave this hell on earth.

All I could do when I got home was lie on the bed. I couldn’t move my arms or legs. I felt like Jello. That year was really hard at home. We owed over 10,000 yuan in debt. We’d even had to borrow the money for my medical parole. I couldn’t receive any treatment as we had no money. I suffered sometimes because I dwelt in sickness, but I knew it was in God’s hands and whether I got better or not was up to God. God is my greatest support. I prayed often to God and gradually grew spiritually strong. I was dying to read God’s words at that time, but because the CCP was still watching me, brothers and sisters weren’t able to get in touch with me. My mom was a believer, and she brought me a handwritten copy of God’s words. I was thrilled and took it quickly from her. I read it over and over. Although I couldn’t remember any of it, I could understand it. I felt very joyful and at ease and didn’t think about whether I would live or die. So long as I could read God’s words, then I’d be content. After two or three months, I could walk limply with support without taking medicine or getting injections, and I could eat by myself.

One day in 2004, I saw a paper package in my drawer. When I opened it, I saw a tangled cassette tape, and I thought to myself, “Is this a cassette of hymns?” I asked my son to untangle it and put it in the player, and to my surprise, it began to play. I was so excited to hear hymns of God’s words playing! After that, I’d listen to these hymns every day, over and over again, my heart brightening more every time I listened. I felt deeply inspired especially when I listened to “Song of the Overcomers”: “Have you ever accepted the blessings that you were given? Have you ever sought the promises that were made for you? You will surely, under the guidance of My light, break through the stranglehold of the forces of darkness. You will surely not, in the midst of darkness, lose the guidance of My light. You will surely be the masters of all creation. You will surely be overcomers before Satan. You will surely, at the downfall of the kingdom of the great red dragon, stand up amid the myriad throngs as proof of My victory. You will surely stand firm and unwavering in the land of Sinim. Through the sufferings you endure, you will inherit My blessings, and will surely radiate My glory throughout the entire universe” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. God’s Words to the Entire Universe, Chapter 19). I understood that God’s work in the last days is to use the great red dragon’s persecution to perfect a group of overcomers. Although I’d been through some hardships and been left crippled, my faith had been perfected through this environment, and I was able to stand firm thanks to the guidance of God’s words. After I’d been crippled, not only did I lose my memory, but I couldn’t even look after myself. I felt negative and weak time and time again, and it was only by God helping me through the sisters’ giving me fellowship again and again on His words that I found the faith to get through this tough situation. This showed me that God’s words are the light and at any time they can light the way ahead for people and give them a path to follow. Going through this situation, although my flesh suffered somewhat, I was able to understand the truth, my faith in God grew, and I gained some understanding of God’s almightiness and sovereignty. My suffering had been so meaningful! God’s words motivated me and my condition got better day by day. My memory came back a lot and I was able to speak coherently. By 2005, I was able to walk slowly. At the end of that year, I took a train by myself to go visit my younger sister in another city and I preached Almighty God’s gospel to her. When my relatives saw me make such a good recovery, some said, “There really is a God!” Some said, “Your God truly is almighty!” My older sister’s mother-in-law also accepted God’s gospel of the last days after listening to my experience. My condition ended up completely healed later. My leg was not lame anymore and I became a normal person. The people around me were amazed to see how quickly I recovered. Once, I bumped into Xin Ming on the street, and I couldn’t express how thrilled I felt. I hugged her immediately and we were so moved that we cried. When I had a follow-up checkup in 2018, the doctor looked at my X-ray in surprise for a long time and said that the swelling of blood in my head had already calcified. For the swelling to become calcified after my brain was severely injured without any treatment truly was a miracle! When I heard the doctor say this, I thanked God with all my heart! I slowly recovered from being a dying paralyzed person to a normal person—this was something no one would dare to imagine.

Having had this experience, I saw that God administers all things and that people’s lives and deaths are all in His hands. Just as God says: “Man’s heart and spirit are held in the hand of God, everything of his life is beheld in the eyes of God. Regardless of whether or not you believe this, any and all things, whether living or dead, will shift, change, renew, and disappear in accordance with God’s thoughts. Such is the way in which God presides over all things” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. God Is the Source of Man’s Life). My faith in God grew a great deal through this special experience. God gave me a second chance at life. No matter what persecution or tribulation I may face in the future, I’ll always be steadfast in my faith to follow God, and I’ll do my duty well to repay His love.