By Ye Fan, China

In 2000, I was 24 years old, and at that time, I was diagnosed with chronic glomerulonephritis, with severe hematuria, and I had dangerously high levels of protein in my urine. I was extremely weak, and I felt more and more exhausted every day. I couldn’t even hold a broom to sweep the floor, and sometimes I needed my husband to carry me upstairs. The doctor told me to take hormones for treatment, and after about seven days of medication, my hair fell out until hardly any was left, and my body was left swollen, but my condition didn’t improve. The doctor said that the only solution was a kidney transplant. When I heard that, I thought, “Isn’t that pretty much a death sentence? A kidney transplant would cost hundreds of thousands of yuan, and my family can’t afford such an expense!” The thought that I might die so young caused me great pain, and my desire to live was beyond words. Later, my mother encouraged me to believe in the Lord, and I thought, since I was so sick, I might as well try, so I started praying to the Lord. To my surprise, after seven days, I went for a test, and the results for my blood serum protein and urine protein both came back normal. I couldn’t believe it, and I thought maybe there’d been a mistake in the test results. The doctors who treated me also thought it was wonderous, and they called it a miracle. At that time, I thought, “It was God who healed my illness and gave me grace and blessings, so from now on, I must believe in God wholeheartedly, and I believe God will bless me even more.” The doctor also made a special point of reminding me, “Be sure not to let your blood pressure rise, because high blood pressure could cause your kidney disease to relapse.” After that, I continued taking blood pressure medication as an auxiliary treatment, and my blood pressure remained normal. Soon, the hematuria disappeared, and my body started feeling stronger.

In 2004, I accepted the work of Almighty God in the last days, and I felt even happier. I thought that I was so fortunate, and that God had given me a second life and allowed me to live. I felt He had graced me by allowing me to hear His voice and return before His throne, and that He had blessed me greatly. In order to repay God’s love, no matter what duty the church assigned me, I carried it out actively, and even though my husband opposed my faith in God, I wasn’t constrained, and I still persisted in my duties. In 2012, I was arrested by the police while preaching the gospel, and after I was released, my husband opposed my faith even more, until eventually, he divorced me. After which, I devoted myself to my duties full-time.

In 2017, my blood pressure had begun to rise to 180 mmHg, and the medication didn’t seem to help. By 2020, I felt completely drained, I had to gasp for air just to walk up the stairs, and I couldn’t even wash my own clothes. I worried to myself, “Has my kidney disease relapsed? What will I do if it’s come back?” But then I thought, “God healed me from such a severe illness before, and over these last few years, I’ve forsaken my work and family, and I’ve submitted to all the duties assigned to me by the church. Surely God won’t let anything happen to me because of all my sacrifices and expenditures.” Later, my condition worsened, so I went home to see a doctor. I went to the hospital for a check-up and found out that my blood pressure was high, that I had severe anemia, and that my blood sugar had increased. The urine test also showed a positive result. The doctor told me that my kidney disease had relapsed, and that if it worsened, it could lead to kidney failure and death. I didn’t know how to feel when I saw these results. Over my years of faith, I’d forsaken my family, career, and physical pleasures to do my duty, and I thought that by making these sacrifices, God would protect me. I never expected that in the end, my old illness would come back worse than ever. For a moment, I began to regret the sacrifices and efforts I’d made over the years. If I hadn’t left home to do my duty, I wouldn’t be in this lonely and helpless situation I now found myself in. Especially after hearing Dr. Zhang, who was treating me, say that my illness would require three years of treatment, I became even more anxious and worried, and I thought, “The treatment for these three years will cost over a hundred thousand yuan. Where am I supposed to get that kind of money?” I started thinking about working to earn money for my treatment. But after just a month of working, the police called me and asked where I was, telling me to go back and sign the “Three Statements” to betray God. I was afraid the police would arrest me again, so I was forced to leave the area. I thought to myself, “My illness still requires continuous treatment, and if I leave the area, I won’t be able to get the medicine that Dr. Zhang has been making using his family’s secret recipe. In the past, only Dr. Zhang’s medicine has worked for my illness. After taking a month on his medicine, I felt energized, but other traditional Chinese medicines don’t seem to work for me. Also, because the police are trying to arrest me, I can’t work and earn money, and without money for treatment, there’s no telling how long I’ll be able to survive.” Afterward, I remained in a really despondent state, and every time I thought about how I had nothing left, my heart was filled with pain, and I couldn’t muster up the same vigor for my duties as before.

One day, I thought of God’s words:

5. If you have always been very loyal, with much love for Me, yet you suffer the torment of illness, financial strain, and the abandonment of your friends and relatives, or if you endure any other misfortunes in life, will your loyalty and love for Me still continue?

6. If none of what you have imagined in your heart matches what I have done, how should you walk your future path?

—The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. A Very Serious Problem: Betrayal (2)

In His words, it was as if God was questioning me to my face, making me reflect on myself. Over the years, I’d made sacrifices and expended myself in my duty, so I thought of myself as a sincere believer in God, and I believed I was loyal and submissive to God. With the relapse of my kidney disease, an illness that couldn’t be treated, and which could lead to death, I didn’t seek God’s intention in this and instead misunderstood and complained about God. I even regretted the expenditures I’d made for God and started to do my duty in a perfunctory way. Was I not betraying God in this? I saw that after so many years of faith, I had no loyalty to God at all. I felt so guilty. God had arranged these circumstances that didn’t align with my notions to save me, but I didn’t understand God’s painstaking intention and instead became negative and slacked off in my work. I was truly lacking in humanity and reason! After this, I didn’t feel as distressed, and I regained some of my motivation for my duty.

A few months later, my body still felt weak, I was having heart palpitations, and I was short of breath. Sometimes, I even needed someone to pull me along while I climbed stairs. When I got tired in particular, my blood pressure would rise. I thought about how the doctor had said that this condition could lead to kidney failure, and I began to worry, “What if I die?” Over my years of faith, I’d forsaken my family and career. So if I died, wouldn’t all those years of suffering have been for nothing? At that time, I found two good local traditional Chinese doctors, took herbal medicine, and even had acupuncture, but none of them had any effect. One time, after climbing some stairs, I was so exhausted that I collapsed onto the bed, gasping for air. I thought that with my condition continually worsening, there was no telling when I might die, and my heart filled with pain. I couldn’t help but think, “God! In all my years of following You, I’ve abandoned my family and career, and I’ve suffered and expended myself. Could You heal my illness and let me live a few more years because of all this?” Later, when I calmed down to consider and reflect on my state, I finally realized that making these kinds of demands of God was unreasonable. I thought of a passage of God’s words and looked it up to read. Almighty God says: “Arrogance has many manifestations. For example, say someone who believes in God demands His grace—on what basis can you demand it? You are a person corrupted by Satan, a created being; the fact that you live and breathe is already the greatest of God’s graces. You can enjoy all that God has created on the earth. God has given you enough, so why would you demand more of Him? It is because people are never content with their lot. They always think that they are better than others, that they should have more, so they always demand it of God. This is representative of their arrogant disposition. Though their mouths might not say it, when people first start believing in God, in their hearts they may well be thinking, ‘I want to go to heaven, not hell. I want not only me to be blessed, but my whole family. I want to eat nice food, wear nice clothes, enjoy nice things. I want a good family, a good husband (or wife) and good kids. Ultimately, I want to reign as king.’ It’s all about their requirements and demands. This disposition of theirs, these things they think in their hearts, these extravagant desires—they all typify the arrogant nature of man. What makes Me say this? It comes down to people’s status. Man is a created being that came from dust; God formed man of clay, and breathed into him the breath of life. Such is the lowly status of man, yet still people come before God wanting this and that. Man’s status is so ignoble, he should not open his mouth and demand anything from God. So what should people do? They should work hard regardless of criticism, put their shoulder to the wheel, and gladly submit. It’s not a question of gladly embracing humility—do not gladly embrace humility; this is the status people are born with; they should be innately submissive and humble, for their status is humble, and so they should not demand things from God, nor have extravagant desires toward God. Such things should not be found in them. Here is a simple example. A certain wealthy household hired a servant. This servant’s position in the wealthy household was especially low, but they nevertheless said to the master of the house: ‘I want to wear your son’s hat, I want to eat your rice, I want to wear your clothes, and I want to sleep in your bed. Whatever things you use, whether gold or silver, I want them! I contribute a great deal in my work, and I live in your house, so I want them!’ How should the master treat them? The master would say: ‘You ought to know what kind of thing you are, what your role is: You are a servant. I give my son what he wants, because that is his status. What is your status, your identity? You are not qualified to ask for these things. You should go and do what you ought to, go carry out your obligations, according to your status and identity.’ Does such a person have any reason? There are many people who believe in God who do not have that much reason. From the beginning of believing in God, they have ulterior motives, and continuing on, they incessantly make demands of God: ‘I have to have the work of the Holy Spirit follow me as I spread the gospel! You also have to forgive and tolerate me when I do bad things! If I do a lot of work, You have to reward me!’ In short, people are always wanting things from God, they are always greedy” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. An Arrogant Nature Is at the Root of Man’s Resistance to God). When I read God’s words, I felt really distressed. I was like the servant described in God’s words, completely lacking in reason. The master gave him food, shelter, and even a reward, but the servant didn’t know to be grateful to his master. He thought that by doing some work for his master, he had earned merit, and so he made demands of his master, wanting to enjoy everything the master had. I saw that this servant was truly arrogant, lacking in reason, and shameless. I thought back to when my illness couldn’t be cured, and I was on the verge of death. In particular, when I saw people with the same illness as mine die, my sense of despair worsened. After coming to believe in the Lord, He took away my illness and allowed me to live, and later, I was fortunate enough to accept God’s work of the last days and receive the opportunity to gain the truth and be saved by God. All of this is God’s exceptional elevation and grace. I have received enough from God, but I didn’t know to be grateful. I thought that by doing a bit of duty, I had earned merit, and so I made demands of God, asking Him to keep me from falling ill again. When my illness recurred and I faced death, I didn’t submit. Instead, I argued back and complained. I shamelessly demanded that God extend my life and let me live a few more years. What qualifications did I have, as a mere created being, to make demands of God? God is the Lord of all creation, and it is God who decides whom to bless and whom not to bless. Yet I had the nerve to argue back and put conditions before God. I was truly arrogant and lacking in reason! I also saw that I was utterly despicable, greedy, and lacking in conscience. Realizing all this, I felt a deep sense of guilt inside.

One day, I saw a passage of God’s words in the movie Salvation, and it gave me some understanding of my state. Almighty God says: “So many believe in Me only that I might heal them. So many believe in Me only that I might use My powers to drive unclean spirits out from their bodies, and so many believe in Me simply that they might receive peace and joy from Me. So many believe in Me only to demand from Me greater material wealth. So many believe in Me just to spend this life in peace and to be safe and sound in the world to come. So many believe in Me to avoid the suffering of hell and to receive the blessings of heaven. So many believe in Me only for temporary comfort, yet do not seek to gain anything in the world to come. When I brought down My fury upon man and seized all the joy and peace he once possessed, man became doubtful. When I gave unto man the suffering of hell and reclaimed the blessings of heaven, man flew into a rage. When man asked Me to heal him, I paid him no heed and felt abhorrence toward him; man departed from Me to instead seek the way of evil medicine and sorcery. When I took away all that man had demanded from Me, everyone disappeared without a trace. Thus, I say that man has faith in Me because I give too much grace, and because there are far too many benefits to gain” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. What Do You Know of Faith?). What God exposed was my exact state. At first, I saw that God could heal my illness. I enjoyed God’s grace, and so I was willing to follow Him fully, and was able to do my duty and forsake my family and career. I also carried out whatever duty the church arranged for me. Even when I was arrested while preaching the gospel, rejected by my family, or had physical discomfort, I still found myself able to persist in my duty, as I thought that by expending myself for God, He wouldn’t allow me to fall ill. But when my kidney disease recurred and became more serious, and I had no money for treatment, and might even face death, I was unwilling to suffer and expend myself anymore. I complained that God wasn’t protecting me, regretted expending myself for Him, and I stopped being diligent in my duty, and tried to use all my years of efforts and expenditures as capital, demanding that God let me live a few more years. I realized that I only believed in God to receive blessings, and when I didn’t receive blessings, I felt like I had lost out by believing in God, and I stopped sincerely believing in God and doing my duties. I even boldly demanded blessings from God. In what way was my faith in God any different from the way disbelievers seek to eat their fill of loaves? I didn’t seek the truth in my faith, but rather, I was trying to bargain with God for blessings. I was trying to use and cheat God by doing this! I thought about how Paul initially believed in the Lord for the sake of gaining blessings, and when he saw that he had suffered somewhat and made some sacrifices, he thought he was entitled to blessings and openly asked God for a crown. He said, “I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith: From now on there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness” (2 Timothy 4:7–8). He meant that if God didn’t give him a crown and rewards, it would mean God was unrighteous. In the end, he offended God’s disposition and was punished by God. If I kept going on like this without changing, I would end up like Paul, being punished and cast into hell.

One day, I heard a hymn of God’s words, “Man’s Lifespan Has Been Predetermined by God”:

1  Some people often fall ill, but no matter how much they pray to God, they still don’t get better. No matter how much they want to rid themselves of their illness, they cannot. Sometimes, they may even face life-threatening conditions and are forced to confront them head-on. In fact, if one really has faith in God in their heart, they first of all must know that a person’s lifespan is in God’s hands. The timing of one’s birth and death is predestined by God. When God gives people illness, there is a reason behind it—it has significance. It feels like sickness to them, but, in actual fact, what they have been given is grace, not illness. People must first of all recognize and be sure about this fact, and take it seriously.

2  When people are suffering from illness, they can come often before God, and make sure to do what they should, with prudence and caution, and treat their duty with greater care and diligence than others. As far as people are concerned, this is a protection, not shackles. It is the negative way of handling things. In addition, everyone’s lifespan has been predetermined by God. An illness may appear to be terminal from a medical standpoint, but from God’s point of view, if your life must still go on and your time has yet to come, then you couldn’t die even if you wanted to.

3  If God has given you a commission, and your mission is not over, then you will not even die from an illness that is supposed to be fatal—God will not take you yet. Even if you do not pray and seek the truth, or do not attend to treating your illness, or even if you put off your treatment, you will not die. This is particularly true for those who have received a commission from God: When their mission has yet to be completed, no matter what illness befalls them, they must not die straight away; they must live until the final moment of the mission’s completion.

…………

—The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three

After listening to this hymn, I understood that the life and death of a person are in God’s hands. Everyone has their own mission when they come into this world, and the day a person’s life ends is related to their mission. When a person’s lifespan is up, and their mission is complete, they must die, even if they aren’t sick. If a person hasn’t completed their mission, even if they have a fatal disease, they will not die. Thinking back, I was in my twenties when I got a difficult-to-treat illness. I had no money for treatment, but God didn’t let me die. Instead, He allowed me to live well up to this point, and I saw that life and death are in God’s hands and predestined by God. These things have nothing to do with the severity of a person’s illness. When the police asked me to sign the “Three Statements,” to avoid being arrested, I was forced to leave home. I couldn’t go to Dr. Zhang for medicine anymore, and I had no money for treatment, so I worried that without the medicine, my condition would worsen, and I might die. The truth was, even though Dr. Zhang was highly skilled, he couldn’t save a person’s life. I remember one of my fellow patients was swollen all over and couldn’t urinate, and in the midst of her agony, she knelt before Dr. Zhang, begging him to cure her illness, but he was powerless to do anything. My illness was the same as that patient’s, and Dr. Zhang had nothing else he could do. It was God who miraculously took away my illness, and I received such great grace and saw God’s almightiness, but I still didn’t have faith in God. I still thought that my life and death were in the hands of a doctor. I was truly so muddled, and so blind and ignorant! I couldn’t rebel anymore, and I had to entrust my illness into God’s hands. From then on, whether I lived or died, I would be willing to submit to God’s orchestrations and arrangements, and so long as I had another day to live, I would fulfill my duty.

Later, I read God’s words: “As a created being, when one comes before the Creator, they ought to perform their duty. This is a very proper thing to do, and they should fulfill this responsibility. On the basis that created beings perform their duties, the Creator has done even greater work among humankind, and He has carried out a further stage of work on people. And what work is that? He provides humankind with the truth, allowing them to gain the truth from Him as they perform their duties and thereby to cast off their corrupt dispositions and be purified. Thus, they come to satisfy God’s intentions and embark on the right path in life, and, ultimately, they are able to fear God and shun evil, attain complete salvation, and no longer be subjected to Satan’s afflictions. This is the effect that God would have humankind achieve in the end by performing their duties. Therefore, during the process of performing your duty, God does not merely make you see one thing clearly and understand a little truth, nor does He merely let you enjoy the grace and blessings you receive by performing your duty as a created being. Rather, He allows you to be purified and saved, and, ultimately, come to live in the light of the face of the Creator” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part Seven)). After reading this passage of God’s words, my heart became brighter. God gives people the opportunity to do their duty to allow people to pursue and gain the truth, to cast off their corrupt disposition and be purified, and to achieve a change in disposition and walk the path of salvation. But in all my years of faith, I’d been doing my duty in the hopes that God would protect and bless me, and I treated my duty as a bargaining chip for blessings. I came to understand that my views on faith were wrong. Doing one’s duty is perfectly natural and justified, and it has nothing to do with gaining blessings or suffering misfortune. I should focus on pursuing the truth and casting off my corrupt disposition in my duty. This is the true value and meaning of my life. If I only pursue blessings and don’t seek dispositional change, then even after a lifetime of belief, I will never gain the truth, and in the end, I won’t be saved.

One day, I read a passage of God’s words: “No matter what God asks of you, you need only work toward it with all your strength, and I hope you will be able to come before God and give Him your utmost devotion in the end. As long as you can see God’s gratified smile as He sits upon His throne, even if this moment is the appointed time of your death, you should be able to laugh and smile as you close your eyes. You must, during your time on earth, do your final duty for God. In the past, Peter was crucified upside down for the sake of God; but you should satisfy God in the end, and exhaust all your energy for His sake. What can a created being do on behalf of God? You should therefore give yourself up to God in advance, for Him to orchestrate you as He wishes. As long as it makes God happy and pleased, then let Him do as He will with you. What right do men have to speak words of complaint?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Interpretations of the Mysteries of “God’s Words to the Entire Universe,” Chapter 41). After reading God’s words, I understood that no matter what sickness or pain I face, even if I die, so long as I submit to God’s orchestrations and arrangements and fulfill the duty I should fulfill, this will meet with God’s approval. I thought of how God tested Job. Job lost his vast fortune and his children, and was left covered in sore boils, but he was able to submit to God without complaining, and he stood firm in his testimony for God. Peter spent his life seeking to submit to and love God, never asking for anything for himself, and in the end, he was crucified upside down for God. He reached the point of submission unto death, completely shamed Satan, and gave glorious testimony for God. The testimonies of Job and Peter really inspired me. My illness had relapsed, and at any moment, I could face kidney failure or even death, but as long as I could live and breathe, I should do my duty. From then on, I began to wish to give my remaining life to God, pursue dispositional change, and fulfill my duty, and if one day death came to me, I would still submit to God’s sovereignty and arrangements.

After that, I devoted my heart to my duty, and I also exercised my body properly from time to time, and I found that my health gradually improved. My blood sugar and blood pressure returned to stable levels, and I found that I had energy for everything I did. At the end of May 2024, I was elected as a district leader, and though the workload was greater, I was able to bear it. Sometimes, when I felt tired from work, I would take an appropriate rest for a while, and afterward, I would lose no time in fulfilling my duty. When I practiced like this, I felt closer to God, and I felt at ease when fulfilling my duty with diligence.