By Han Chen, China

I was screening sermons in the church. I was working with Yilin and Yiyang. One day in April 2022, the leaders sent a letter that said, “Yilin does not enter into principles when screening sermons, and the results of her work are not good. She must be dismissed. You and Yiyang are getting some results from doing your duties, but recently, there have been deviations in the way you have screened sermons: You have screened out some valuable sermons. You will be kept on and observed for the time being.” When I saw this news, my heart was filled with all kinds of feelings. Yilin’s caliber was better than mine, but even she had been dismissed. My caliber and work capability were not as good as hers, and I did not have a good grasp of principles. If I made another mistake in screening sermons, then I would certainly be dismissed. Now, God’s work is soon to be complete. If I were dismissed and did not have a duty to do, would I still have a chance at salvation? When I thought this, I felt extremely heavy. During that time, every time I screened a sermon I would read it several times over, afraid that I would be dismissed if a deviation appeared. However, the more fearful of making a mistake I was, the less able I was to weigh things up accurately, and the more problems and deviations occurred. One time, we were weighing up a sermon, which I felt had clear layers and fellowshipped in quite a practical way. I gave it to the leaders to look at. I never expected that the leaders would read it and say, “The religious notions in this sermon have not been resolved. It cannot be submitted.” I was shocked, “How did I not see this? If the leaders see that I don’t have a grasp of principles and am not making progress in doing my duty, will they dismiss me?” Later, I became extremely timid and lacking in initiative when doing my duty. When screening sermons, I wouldn’t dare to clearly state my own opinion, because I was afraid of making a mistake and being revealed and dismissed. Therefore, I would ask the leaders about everything and get them to decide.

Once, the churches passed on some sermons. After reading them, we discovered that four sermons were written quite practically, and could be submitted. However, in my heart I was calculating, “What if I submit another worthless sermon because I read it inaccurately? What will I do if the leaders think that I don’t grasp principles and dismiss me? To be safe, I should pass them to the leaders to look at first. That way, even if I make a mistake I won’t bear the main responsibility.” So I passed these sermons on to the leaders. After a few days, the leaders responded with their suggestions for three of the sermons, saying they could be submitted. However, they never responded about the other sermon, by Zhang Li. I thought to myself, “If the leaders haven’t responded, then could it be they think there’s a problem with it? I’d better not submit it. That way, I can avoid a situation where a problem of principle appears later, and it looks like I lack discernment. I should wait for the leaders’ response and then decide whether to submit it. It’s safer this way.” Afterward, I busied myself with other tasks. This sermon was left stranded for two weeks. During this time, Yiyang reminded me that this sermon needed to be submitted as soon as possible. I said, “Let’s wait for the leaders to respond before submitting it. We shouldn’t be too eager for short-term successes.” Yiyang didn’t say anything more. One day, the leaders sent a letter that said, “We haven’t seen you pass on the sermon Zhang Li wrote. Where has it got stuck?” Only then did I realize the leaders had responded about Zhang Li’s sermon long ago, saying it could be proofread and submitted. We just hadn’t received the letter. When I received this news, I felt something indescribable in my heart. I couldn’t help but wonder: I clearly saw that Zhang Li’s sermon was quite practical, and had her own linguistic style. According to principle, it should be submitted. But why did I keep on waiting for the leaders to make a decision? What corrupt disposition was I being controlled by? I brought my state before God to pray and seek.

Later, I read these words of God: “There are many people who are afraid of taking responsibility in performing a duty. Their fear manifests in three main ways. The first is that they choose duties that do not require taking responsibility. … The second is that when a difficulty befalls them or they encounter a problem, their first resort is to report it to a leader and have the leader handle and resolve it, in hope that they may keep their ease. They do not care how the leader handles the issue and pay this no mind—so long as they do not take responsibility themselves, then all is well to them. Is such performance of duty loyal to God? This is called passing the buck, dereliction of duty, playing tricks. It is all talk; they are not doing anything real. They say to themselves, ‘If this thing is mine to sort out, what if I end up making a mistake? When they look into who’s to blame, won’t they handle me? Won’t the responsibility for it fall first to me?’ This is what they worry about. But do you believe that God scrutinizes all? Everyone makes mistakes. If a person whose intention is correct lacks experience and has not handled some sort of matter before, but they have done their best, that is visible to God. You must believe that God scrutinizes all things and the heart of man. If one does not even believe this, are they not a disbeliever? What significance could there be in such a person performing a duty? It doesn’t really matter whether they perform this duty or not, does it? They are afraid of taking responsibility and they shirk responsibility. When something happens, the first thing they do isn’t try to think of a way to handle the problem, rather the first thing they do is call and notify the leader. Of course, some people try to handle the problem themselves as they notify the leader, but some people don’t do this, and the first thing they do is call the leader, and after the call, they just wait passively, awaiting instructions. When the leader instructs them to take a step, they take a step; if the leader says to do something, they do it. If the leader doesn’t say anything or give instructions, they don’t do anything and just procrastinate. Without anyone spurring them on or supervising them they don’t do any work at all. Tell Me, is such a person doing a duty? Even if they are laboring, they have no loyalty! There is one more way in which a person’s fear of taking responsibility in performing a duty manifests. When they perform their duty, some people do just a bit of superficial, simple work, work that does not entail taking responsibility. Work that entails difficulties and taking responsibility, they dump onto others, and if something should go wrong, they shift the blame onto those people and keep their own noses clean. When church leaders see that they are irresponsible, they patiently offer help, or they prune them, so that they may be able to take responsibility. But still, they do not want to, and they think, ‘This duty is hard to do. I’ll have to take responsibility when things go wrong, and I may even be cleared out and eliminated, and that will be the end for me.’ What kind of attitude is this? If they have no sense of responsibility in performing their duty, how can they perform their duty well? Those who don’t genuinely expend themselves for God can’t perform any duty well, and those who fear taking responsibility will only delay things when they perform their duties. Such people are not trustworthy or dependable; they only perform their duty to get food in their mouths. Should ‘beggars’ like this be eliminated? They should. The house of God does not want such people. These are the three manifestations of people who are afraid of taking responsibility in performing their duty. People who are afraid of taking responsibility in their duty cannot even reach the level of a loyal laborer, and are not fit to perform a duty. Some people are eliminated because of this sort of attitude toward their duty. Even now, they may not know the reason and still complain, saying, ‘I did my duty with fiery enthusiasm, so why did they throw me out so coldly?’ Even now, they do not understand. Those who do not understand the truth spend their whole lives unable to understand why they were eliminated. They make excuses for themselves, and keep defending themselves, thinking, ‘It’s instinctual for people to protect themselves, and they should do so. Who shouldn’t be looking out for themselves a bit? Who shouldn’t be thinking of themselves a bit? Who doesn’t need to keep an escape route open for themselves?’ If you protect yourself whenever something befalls you and leave yourself an escape route, a back door, are you putting the truth into practice? This is not practicing the truth—it is being sneaky. You are performing your duty in the house of God now. What is the first principle of performing a duty? It is that you must first perform that duty with your whole heart, sparing no effort, and protect the interests of God’s house. This is a truth principle, one that you should put into practice. Protecting oneself by leaving oneself an escape route, a back door, is the principle of practice followed by nonbelievers, and their most elevated philosophy. Considering oneself first in all things and placing one’s own interests before all else, not thinking of others, having no connection with the interests of God’s house and the interests of others, thinking of one’s own interests first and then thinking of an escape route—is that not what a nonbeliever is? This is precisely what a nonbeliever is. This sort of person is not fit to perform a duty” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Eight: They Would Have Others Submit Only to Them, Not the Truth or God (Part One)). From God’s words, I saw that people are constantly afraid of taking responsibility when doing duties. They are afraid of making a mistake and being revealed and dismissed. When things crop up, they let the leaders make the decisions, always leaving themselves a way out to protect their personal interests. This is the principle that nonbelievers follow when handling things. The exposure of God’s words made me feel as if my heart was being stabbed. Had my behavior not been exactly like this? When Yilin had been dismissed, and deviations and problems had occurred in the sermons that I’d screened, and I had been kept on under observation, I hadn’t come before God to find the root cause of the problems and seek the truth to resolve them. Instead, I had worried that I would be dismissed and unable to do a duty, and so I wouldn’t have a good prospect or destination. I had seen clearly that these few sermons were quite practical and could be submitted, but I’d been afraid that if deviations emerged, my own problems would be exposed and I would be dismissed. Therefore, I had pushed them onto the leaders for them to make the decision, with the excuse that I wasn’t sure. In this way, if problems occurred it wouldn’t be my sole responsibility. When the leaders didn’t reply, I had dragged things out and waited, resulting in a valuable sermon not being submitted promptly, and hindering progress. At the time, I had believed that I wasn’t as eager for short-term successes as I had been previously. I also hadn’t been as confident in myself as before, and I had believed that the ability to ask for the leaders’ suggestions when things came up was a mark of reason. Now, I finally saw that I had been hiding my despicable intentions inside. I had been afraid of taking responsibility, and in order to preserve myself, I had used sneaky methods. I had been extremely selfish and despicable, extremely slippery and deceitful! If my intentions had been correct, in terms of considering the work of the church, I should have screened valuable sermons as quickly as possible so they could bear testimony to God. Even if problems or deviations occurred, I could promptly summarize them and seek the truth to resolve them. In this way, the number of deviations would have kept decreasing. However, I hadn’t believed that God scrutinizes everything. I had been afraid that if I made a mistake, I would be dismissed and my future couldn’t be assured. I had preferred to delay the submission of the sermons in order to preserve myself. I hadn’t considered the work of the church in the slightest. By doing this, not only would I not have a good future and destination, but I would also incur God’s loathing.

Later, I read more of God’s words: “Some people do not believe that God’s house can treat people fairly. They do not believe that God reigns in His house, and that the truth reigns there. They believe that no matter what duty a person performs, if a problem arises in it, God’s house will handle that person immediately, stripping them of their right to perform that duty, sending them away, or even clearing them out of the church. Is that really how things work? It certainly is not. God’s house treats every person according to the truth principles. God is righteous in His treatment of every person. He does not look only at how a person behaves in a single instance; He looks at a person’s nature essence, at their intentions, at their attitude, and He looks in particular at whether a person can reflect on themselves when they make a mistake, whether they are remorseful, and whether they can penetrate the essence of the problem based on His words, come to understand the truth, hate themselves, and truly repent. … Tell Me, if a person has made a mistake, but they are capable of true understanding and willing to repent, would God’s house not give them a chance? As God’s six-thousand-year management plan draws to a close, there are so many duties that need to be performed. But if you have no conscience or reason, and don’t attend to your proper work, if you have gained the opportunity to perform a duty but do not know to treasure it, do not pursue the truth in the least, letting the best time pass you by, then you will be revealed. If you are consistently perfunctory in performing your duty, and you do not submit at all when faced with being pruned, will God’s house still use you to perform a duty? In God’s house, it is the truth that reigns, not Satan. God has the final say over everything. It is He who is doing the work of saving man, it is He who holds sovereignty over everything. There is no need for you to analyze what is right and wrong, you just need to listen and submit. When faced with being pruned, you must accept the truth and be able to correct your mistakes. If you do, God’s house will not strip you of your right to perform a duty. If you are always afraid of being eliminated, always giving excuses, always justifying yourself, that is a problem. If you let others see that you do not accept the truth in the least, and that you are impervious to reason, you are in trouble. The church will be obliged to handle you. If you do not accept the truth at all in performing your duty and are always afraid of being revealed and eliminated, then this fear of yours is tainted with human intent and a corrupt satanic disposition, and with suspicion, guardedness, and misapprehension. None of these are attitudes that a person should have” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). As I pondered the words of God, I finally realized that I had been constantly worrying that if I made a mistake while doing my duty, I would be revealed and dismissed, and would not have a good future or destination, and the main reason for this was that I hadn’t understood God’s righteous disposition and hadn’t believed that the truth reigns in the house of God. The house of God reassigns and dismisses people according to principles. It does not dismiss people because they have done one or two things wrong or there are some deviations in their work. Instead, it looks at people’s consistent behavior, and whether they can accept the truth and turn things around promptly when deviations and problems occur. I thought of Yilin. Although she had some caliber and some gifts, she had only pursued reputation and status, and had been eager for short-term successes. When deviations and problems had appeared in her duties, the leaders had tried to guide her on multiple occasions, but she hadn’t reflected on herself, hadn’t sought principles, and had brought disruption and disturbance to the work: That was why she had been dismissed. By contrast, among the people around me, there was a sister who had been perfunctory while screening sermons, and screened out some valuable sermons. However, with guidance and pruning, she could accept this, reflect on herself, and turn things around promptly. The church still gave her the opportunity to do duties. Actually, Yilin’s dismissal was a wake-up call to me. I thought about why so many deviations and problems had occurred when I was screening sermons, and why I hadn’t been making much progress. The main reasons were that I had been arrogant and conceited, and trapped in my old ways. In doing my duty I had relied on experience and rigidly applied regulations instead of seeking principles. As a result, I had filtered out valuable sermons and disrupted the work. However, the leaders hadn’t dismissed me because of the deviations and problems that had occurred when I did my duty. They had even fellowshipped with me to help me understand my own corrupt disposition, and had given me an opportunity to repent and change. But not only had I not learned a lesson from Yilin’s dismissal and reflected on my own problems, I had misunderstood, and put up my guard against God. I had clearly seen valuable sermons, but I hadn’t dared to make a decision, instead pushing it onto the leaders. I had been afraid that if I made a mistake and was dismissed and became unable to do a duty, I wouldn’t have a good outcome. I had imagined God as being the same as corrupt humanity, not permitting people to make mistakes, and eliminating them as soon as they do. Was this not slandering and blaspheming against God? I truly had been too wicked and too deceitful!

Later, I read another passage of God’s words, and gained more understanding of my state. Almighty God says: “People must approach their duties and God with honest hearts. If they do, they will be people who fear God. What kind of attitude do people with honest hearts have toward God? At the very least, they have a God-fearing heart, a heart of submission to God in all things, they do not ask about blessings or misfortunes, they do not speak about conditions, they leave themselves at the mercy of God’s orchestration—these are people with honest hearts. Those who are always skeptical about God, always scrutinizing Him, always trying to strike a deal with Him—are they people with honest hearts? (No.) What resides within the hearts of such people? Deceitfulness and wickedness; they are always scrutinizing. And what is it they scrutinize? (God’s attitude toward people.) They are always scrutinizing God’s attitude toward people. What problem is this? And why do they scrutinize this? Because it involves their vital interests. In their hearts, they think to themselves, ‘God created these circumstances for me, He caused this to happen to me. Why did He do that? This hasn’t happened to other people—why did it have to happen to me? And what will the consequences be afterward?’ These are the things they scrutinize, they scrutinize their gains and losses, blessings and misfortunes. And while scrutinizing these things, are they able to practice the truth? Are they able to submit to God? They are not. And what is the nature of the things that are produced by the ruminations of their hearts? These things are all, by nature, in consideration of their own interests, they are all for their own sakes. … People who particularly value their own prospects, fates, and interests, always scrutinize whether God’s work is beneficial to their prospects, to their fates, and to them obtaining blessings. In the end, what is the outcome of their scrutiny? All they do is rebel against and oppose God. Even when they do insist on performing their duties, they do so perfunctorily, with a mood of negativity; in their hearts, they keep thinking about how to take advantage, and to not be on the losing side. Such are their motives when they perform their duties, and in this, they are trying to make a deal with God. What disposition is this? It is deceitfulness, it is a wicked disposition. This is no longer an ordinary corrupt disposition, it has escalated to wickedness. And when there is this kind of wicked disposition in a person’s heart, this is a struggle against God! You should be clear about this problem. If people always scrutinize God and try to make deals when they perform their duties, can they do their duties properly? Absolutely not. They do not worship God with their hearts, and with honesty, they do not have honest hearts, they are watching as they perform their duties, always holding back—and what is the outcome? God does not work in them, and they become muddled and confused, they don’t understand the truth principles, and they act according to their own inclinations, and always go awry. And why do they always go awry? Because their hearts are too lacking in clarity, and when things happen to them, they do not reflect on themselves, or seek the truth to find a resolution, and they insist on doing things as they wish, according to their own preferences—the result of this is that they always go awry when they perform their duties. They never think of the work of the church, nor of the interests of God’s house, they always plot for their own sakes, they always plan for their own interests, pride, and status, and not only do they perform their duties poorly, they also delay and affect the work of the church. Is this not going astray and neglecting their duties? If someone is always planning for their own interests and prospects when they perform their duty, and gives no thought to the work of the church or the interests of God’s house, then this is not performing a duty. This is opportunism, it is doing things for their own benefit and to obtain blessings for themselves. In this way, the nature behind performing their duty changes. It is just about making a deal with God, and wanting to use the performance of their duty to achieve their own goals. This way of doing things is very likely to disturb the work of God’s house” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only by Seeking the Truth Principles Can One Perform One’s Duty Well). From God’s words, I understood that people with an honest heart don’t consider their own gains, losses, blessings, or misfortunes when doing their duty. They don’t try to strike deals with God, but perform their duty with all their heart and mind to satisfy God. Just like Noah—God asked him to build the ark, and Noah didn’t analyze whether he could build it or not. With all his heart, he thought only of how to complete God’s commission as soon as possible. Noah’s pure, honest, and submissive heart won God’s approval. Deceitful and wicked people treat their duty by constantly scrutinizing and observing, scheming for their own future prospects and paths at every turn. This kind of person incurs God’s loathing. As I pondered God’s words, I felt pierced to the heart. I reflected that the way I had treated my duty showed no genuine heart at all. I hadn’t shown consideration for the intention of God in the slightest. I hadn’t thought about how to screen up-to-standard sermons as quickly as possible, so they could be used to preach the gospel and bear testimony to God. Instead, I had played clever tricks on God and put up my guard against Him at every turn in order to preserve myself, asking the leaders to make the decisions on everything. It really had been utterly deceitful of me to do my duty with this kind of intention! In doing my duty, I had thought of my future and destination at every turn, as if, as long as I didn’t make a mistake and wasn’t dismissed, I would survive when God’s work is over and have a good destination. The disposition of God is righteous and holy. By bringing a mindset of putting up my guard against God into doing my duty, I was unable to receive God’s enlightenment and guidance. My thoughts were extremely murky, and I couldn’t see problems in the sermons. Continuing like this would only disrupt and disturb the work of the church, and I really would be revealed and eliminated when the time comes. When I understood this, I felt scared in my heart, and I hurriedly prayed to God in repentance.

One day during my devotional, I read these words of God and found a path of practice. Almighty God says: “Man’s performance of his duty is, in actuality, the accomplishment of all that is inherent within man, which is to say, that which is possible for man. It is then that his duty is fulfilled. The defects of man during his service are gradually reduced through progressive experience and the process of his undergoing judgment; they do not hinder or affect man’s duty. Those who cease to serve or yield and fall back for fear that there may be drawbacks to their service are the most cowardly of all. … Though the duty of man is tainted by the mind of man and his notions, you must do your duty and show your loyalty. The impurities in the work of man are an issue of his caliber, whereas, if man does not perform his duty, it shows his rebelliousness” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. The Difference Between the Ministry of God Incarnate and the Duty of Man). “No matter what duty you are doing, only when you persist in acting according to the truth principles in all things, will you have truly fulfilled your responsibility. Going through the motions according to the human way of doing things is being perfunctory; only sticking to the truth principles is properly performing your duty and fulfilling your responsibility. And when you fulfill your responsibility, is this not the manifestation of loyalty? This is the manifestation of performing your duty loyally. Only when you have this sense of responsibility, this aspiration and desire, and this manifestation of loyalty with regard to your duty, shall God look upon you with favor and approve of you” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (8)). God’s words gave me a path of practice. God’s requirements of us are not great. He does not require us to do everything perfectly, without mistakes. As long as we have an honest heart, do what we are able to do with all our heart and soul, correct our intentions when we encounter things we cannot see through, and communicate about these with the brothers and sisters we work with and the leaders, seeking principles together, not waiting passively, and fulfill our responsibility, God will approve. I thought back to when I was screening sermons in the past. I was arrogant, relied on experience, and didn’t seek the truth principle, so deviations occurred. Now, I must put more effort into principles. When I screen each sermon, I must have a God-fearing heart and weigh things up according to principles. Even though problems and deviations will still occur in the process of doing my duty, I must treat them correctly, summarize the reasons, and turn things around promptly. When I understood this, I no longer considered whether I would be dismissed or not, and was able to dedicate my heart to my duty. In that period, the number of problems and deviations gradually reduced somewhat, and I made some gains professionally and in terms of principles. My heart felt very at ease.

Later, I was elected to be team leader. One time, the supervisors sent a letter pointing out that the theme of the sermons we had submitted that time was unclear, and it was not practical in fellowshipping on the truth. They asked if I had checked it—why had I not seen the problems? When I read the letter, my heart sank. It was true that I hadn’t seen these problems. I couldn’t help but guess, “If the supervisors see that I have been doing this duty for such a long time but still haven’t got a grasp on principles, then will they think I am not fit for this duty and dismiss me?” Afterward, I was again timid and lacking in initiative when doing my duties. Even though I could clearly see that some sermons were valuable, I was afraid of making another mistake and being revealed, so I passed them to the supervisors to weigh up and check. I realized that my state was incorrect, and that I was again thinking about my own future prospects and paths. I thought of a passage of God’s words and looked it up to read. Almighty God says: “Regardless of the situation or work environment, people sometimes make mistakes, and there are areas where their caliber, insights, and perspectives fall short. This is normal, and you need to learn how to handle it correctly. … What you should do is immediately reflect on yourself, and determine if there is an issue with your professional skills or a problem with your intentions. Examine if there are any impurities in your actions or if certain notions are to blame. Reflect on all aspects. If it is a problem with a lack of proficiency, you can continue learning, find somebody to help you explore solutions, or consult with people in the same field. If there are some wrong intentions in the mix, involving a problem that may be resolved using the truth, you can seek out church leaders or someone who understands the truth for consultation and fellowship. Talk with them about the state you are in and let them help you resolve it. If it is an issue involving notions, once you have examined and realized them, you can dissect and understand them, then turn away from and rebel against them” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (6)). After reading this passage of God’s words, my heart felt clear and enlightened. When deviations and problems occur in my duty, I must treat them correctly by reflecting, summarizing, and searching for the root cause of the problem. Then I reflected on myself, and discovered that when screening sermons, I was relying on experience. When I saw that the general framework was there, I didn’t ponder over the details. This meant that I didn’t find some problems. Afterward, I took the sermons with problems out and discussed them with my sisters. Through communication and discussion, I understood the relevant truths and principles a bit more. Through these experiences, I truly understood that only by letting go of our guardedness and having an attitude of seeking the truth can we gain God’s enlightenment and leadership and do our duty well.