By Wang Han, China

I have three older sisters. They and their husbands all work in government ministries. Some are chairs of the People’s Political Consultative Conference, while others are leaders or number ones in government agencies. People envy them and esteem them. Outsiders all say, “Look at your older sisters. Each one is better than the last!” Whenever I heard things like this, I felt a bit sad in my heart. My older sisters were all so exceptional, but my husband and I were only general management personnel in a company, with no power or influence. It made me feel really ashamed, and I couldn’t hold my head high in front of others. I started to think, “I’m never going to amount to anything in this life. I have to pin my hopes on my son, hoping that when he grows up, he will be sure to find a good job. At the very least, even if he doesn’t become a public servant, he must get into a government agency or public institution. If my son were able to stand out from the crowd and find a respectable job, I would be able to bask in the reflected glory.” My son had just started elementary school when I began making plans for him. At the time, there was a private school that offered a better education. I pulled strings and spent money so my son could go there. I wanted him to do well in his studies so in the future he would get into university. Unfortunately my son was a bit of a disappointment. Not only did he not knuckle down and study, but he also regularly skipped school. He would always be in confrontation with the teachers, and later, he didn’t even want to go to school. I started to worry that if he didn’t go to school, then he would be destined for the scrap heap. Would he be able to have any good prospects after that? I would often say to him, “You need to study hard. Then in the future when you get into a good university and find a good job, you will be very respectable. Your older cousins are all at university. If you don’t study hard, then in the future you will have to do hard physical work, and people will look down on you for your whole life.” But my son didn’t want to listen, and often hid from me. After he came home from school, he would grab a bite to eat and then go to his room, saying he needed to do his homework. I wanted to chat about his studies, but he wouldn’t pay me any notice. I thought to myself, “If I, as your mother, just let you act like this and don’t take you in hand, will you be able to succeed in the future?” I wrote down my worries and concerns, giving him earnest and sincere advice. But my son simply wouldn’t listen, and kept skipping school regularly. I grew afraid that he would fall into bad ways in society, so I asked someone to get him into the army. I hoped that he could get into a military school. If he could be a military officer in the future, that would be great. That way, if anyone asked later, “What does your son do?” I would be able to say with confidence, “My son is a military officer.” Therefore, I sent him to the army when he was fifteen. After his three-year service was up, I wanted to make use of a connection to send him to military school for further training, but he would not agree and resolutely wanted to be demobilized. I tried every way I could to convince him, nearly wearing out the skin on my lips in vain, but he still chose to be demobilized. When he returned, he was assigned to the railroad department to be an ordinary worker. Faced with this job, I was so thoroughly dissatisfied. The children of my older sisters had all walked the path of government officials. They had respectable and prestigious jobs, earned a lot of money, and people esteemed them wherever they went. But when I looked at my own son, he had no good education and no good job. How could he be so disappointing? Hadn’t I done everything for his sake? How could he not understand? At that time, I often cried to myself, and felt too ashamed to face people. Was my son’s life really going to be as average and pathetic as mine? If the people who knew me found out, then who knows what they would say about me or how they would mock me behind my back! No. I felt it could not carry on like this. I had to find a way to get my son reassigned to a good job. I couldn’t let him be an ordinary worker all his life! I began to search out connections everywhere. My older sisters also helped with contacting several employers, but in the end, nothing came of it because of my son’s lack of education. I was racking my brains over my son’s work, so much so that I became sick at heart. My family all advised me to let things take their course, but I wasn’t willing to resign myself. I then forced my husband to ask someone to find a connection who could reassign my son’s job. It took a lot of worry and a lot of money, but in the end I still didn’t get a new job for my son. Because of not finding a respectable job for my son, I didn’t let him go to work for three years—I just made him wait at home. My son then became more and more decadent. Every day, if he wasn’t playing games he was out eating, drinking, and having fun. In those days, all I could think about was how to get my son a respectable job. I couldn’t eat or sleep well because of this, and my life was hard and exhausting. Just when I was so worried and felt I had no way forward, the gospel of Almighty God came to me. After I accepted Almighty God’s work of the last days, I often gathered and did duties with my brothers and sisters. Doing this, I felt happy and liberated. However, when I was at leisure, I couldn’t stop myself from getting anxious about my son’s work.

One day, I read these words of God: “When one leaves one’s parents and becomes independent, the social conditions one faces, and the kind of work and career available to one are both decreed by fate and have nothing to do with one’s parents. Some people choose a good major in college and end up finding a satisfactory job after graduation, making a triumphant first stride in the journey of their lives. Some people learn and master many different skills and yet never find a job that suits them or never find their position, much less have a career; at the outset of their life journey, they find themselves thwarted at every turn, beset by troubles, their prospects dismal and their lives uncertain. Some people apply themselves diligently to their studies, yet narrowly miss every chance to receive a higher education; they seem fated never to achieve success, their very first aspiration in the journey of their lives having dissolved into thin air. Not knowing whether the road ahead is smooth or rocky, they feel for the first time how full of variables human destiny is, and so regard life with expectation and dread. Some people, despite not being very well educated, write books and achieve a measure of fame; some, though almost totally illiterate, make money in business and are thereby able to support themselves…. What occupation one chooses, how one makes a living: do people have any control over whether they make a good choice or a bad choice in these things? Do these things accord with people’s desires and decisions? Most people have the following wishes: to work less and earn more, not to toil in the sun and rain, to dress well, to glow and shine everywhere, to tower above others, and to bring honor to their ancestors. People hope for perfection, but when they take their first steps in the journey of their lives, they gradually come to realize how imperfect human destiny is, and for the first time they truly grasp the fact that, though one can make bold plans for one’s future and though one may harbor audacious fantasies, no one has the ability or the power to realize their own dreams, and no one is in a position to control their own future. There will always be some distance between one’s dreams and the realities that one must confront; things are never as one would like them to be, and faced with such realities, people can never achieve satisfaction or contentment. Some people will go to any length imaginable, will put forth great efforts and make great sacrifices for the sake of their livelihoods and future, in an attempt to change their own fate. But in the end, even if they can realize their dreams and desires by means of their own hard work, they can never change their fates, and no matter how doggedly they try, they can never exceed what destiny has allotted them. Regardless of differences in ability, intelligence, and willpower, people are all equal before fate, which does not distinguish between the great and the small, the high and the low, the exalted and the mean. What occupation one pursues, what one does for a living, and how much wealth one amasses in life are not decided by one’s parents, one’s talents, one’s efforts or one’s ambitions, but are predetermined by the Creator” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God Himself, the Unique III). I read this passage several times. The more I read it, the more I felt that what God said was absolutely true. Just as the words of God say, I always had my own ideas and plans, and hoped that my son could get a good job, with respect and prestige. However, none of this can be accomplished through the planning of humans, because God is sovereign over all our destinies, and arranges them. We cannot achieve our wishes by relying on our own efforts and struggles. I paid so much to send my child to a private school while he was young. It was all so he would study hard and have a good job and good prospects in the future. But he simply refused to listen and often skipped school. I earnestly and sincerely tried to teach him, but not only did he not listen to me, he even kept avoiding me. Later, I sent him to join the army, hoping that in the future he would get into military school and become an officer. However, he still didn’t listen to me and insisted on being demobilized, and became an ordinary railroad worker as a result. I was not willing to let things rest, because my son’s job was so far off from my expectations. I searched everywhere, using my connections and trying to pull strings, and was willing to pay any price to get my son into the ideal job. But after several years of torment, and having expended a huge amount of money and effort, my wishes ultimately did not come true. From God’s words I understood that what jobs a person will do throughout their life is not decided by their hard work, ambition, or desire. God arranged long ago what jobs a person will do in this life and what their destiny is. It is not up to me what job my son can do and what his prospects will be. It is preordained by God. However much I made plans or asked people to use their connections, it was all no use; it was all in vain. Not only was living like this exhausting, I also had raised my son to become decadent. When I understood this, I prayed to God. I was willing to entrust my son to God and submit to God’s orchestrations and arrangements. After I prayed, I felt much more relaxed.

Later, two co-workers from my son’s employer came to my house to find out what was going on. They said that my son had not worked for several years, and if he kept this up he would be automatically dismissed. When I heard this news, I felt conflicted inside again, “Will my son only ever be an ordinary worker in the future?” I was still unwilling to accept it, so I asked my son, “If you go back to work now, then in the future a worker is all you’ll be. What do you want to do?” I didn’t expect it, but my son agreed to go to work. At the time, I thought of these words of God: “No other objective conditions can influence a person’s mission, which is predestined by the Creator. All people become mature in the particular environments in which they grow up; then gradually, step by step, they set off down their own roads in life and fulfill the destinies planned for them by the Creator. Naturally, involuntarily, they enter the vast sea of humanity and assume their own posts in life, where they begin to fulfill their responsibilities as created beings for the sake of the Creator’s predestination, for the sake of His sovereignty” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God Himself, the Unique III). God has already arranged my son’s destiny, and what jobs he will do throughout his life. Now, my son had grown up and I should let go. Since he was willing to go to work, I should let him. Not long after, my son went to his employer to work.

Several years passed in a flash. Although I had been able to let go of the issue of my son’s job somewhat, at Chinese New Year and other holidays, when the whole family came together, and I heard my older sisters talk about how their own sons had succeeded, I felt disheartened. I always felt like I was lesser than them, and couldn’t get a word in. There was a feeling I couldn’t describe in my heart. I prayed to God, “Dear God, from Your words I have understood that You are sovereign over people’s destinies. But why, when I hear my elder sisters talk about the successes of their own sons, do I feel sad, like I am beneath them? Dear God, may You guide me to understand my own problems.”

One day during my devotional, I read these words of God: “In fact, no matter how lofty man’s ideals are, no matter how realistic man’s desires are or how proper they may be, all that man wants to achieve, all that man seeks for, is inextricably linked to two words. These two words are vitally important to the life of every person, and they are things Satan intends to instill in man. What are these two words? They are ‘fame’ and ‘gain.’ Satan uses a very subtle kind of method, a method very much in concert with people’s notions, which is not at all radical, through which it causes people to unknowingly accept its way of living, its rules to live by, and to establish life goals and their direction in life, and unknowingly they also come to have ambitions in life. No matter how grand these life ambitions may seem, they are inextricably linked to ‘fame’ and ‘gain.’ Everything that any great or famous person—all people, in fact—follow in life relates only to these two words: ‘fame’ and ‘gain.’ People think that once they have fame and gain, they can then capitalize on those things to enjoy high status and great wealth, and to enjoy life. They think fame and gain are a kind of capital that they can use to obtain a life of pleasure-seeking and wanton enjoyment of the flesh. For the sake of this fame and gain which mankind so covets, people willingly, albeit unknowingly, hand over their bodies, minds, all that they have, their futures and their destinies, to Satan. They do so genuinely and without even a moment’s hesitation, ever ignorant of the need to recover all that they have handed over. Can people retain any control over themselves once they have taken refuge in Satan in this way and become loyal to it? Certainly not. They are completely and utterly controlled by Satan. They have completely and utterly sunk into a quagmire, and are unable to free themselves” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God Himself, the Unique VI). From God’s words I understood that I felt upset when I saw my older sisters praise how successful their sons were because I attached too much importance to fame and gain. I was living by erroneous thoughts and views instilled in people by Satan, like “Man struggles upward; water flows downward,” and “Aim to stand out and excel.” I believed that if I had fame and gain, I would have everything, and that I would be envied and esteemed wherever I went, and I would enjoy prestige. I thought that I would be able to stand tall in front of others, and speak with confidence. I thought that only by living in this way would I have dignity. When I saw that my older sisters and their husbands were all respected figures, and were esteemed wherever they went, I was hugely envious, and wanted to become like them. I wanted to be esteemed and enjoy both fame and gain as well. When I did not achieve my wishes, I pinned my hopes on my son, hoping that he would get a respectable job. In this way I would be able to stand tall and live with prestige. For this, I was willing to pay any price to cultivate my son. However, things did not turn out as I wished. My son simply did not listen to me and ended up becoming a worker. When I saw that my hopes had come to nothing, I felt great anguish. I constantly felt like I couldn’t lift my head up in front of others, and lived in suffering every day. I was not willing to see my son live an average, unremarkable life, and spent money and called upon my connections to get my son reassigned to a new job. In the end, I had spent a lot of money but didn’t succeed in getting him a new job. My son had been at home every day with nothing to do and became useless. I suffered from pursuing fame and gain, only caring about my own face and my own interests. I didn’t consider my son’s feelings at all, and forced him to carry the dreams I had not been able to realize myself. To say nothing of hindering my son, I was also living in abject misery. All these satanic thoughts and views do to people is harm them. They are like invisible shackles, fettering me tightly, making me willing to expend time and effort for them even as they play me for a fool. How utterly foolish I was! When I understood this, it was as if a knot that had been in my heart for many years suddenly came undone. Without the guidance of God’s words, I would have sunk deep into the quagmire of the pursuit of fame and gain, unable to extricate myself. I thanked the guidance of God’s words! I now had some understanding of my own mistaken pursuits in the past, and was somewhat able to discern the ways in which Satan corrupts people. I was not willing to carry on living by Satan’s thoughts and views, and resolved to stop interfering with my son’s work.

After that, I read a passage of God’s words and learned how to treat my son’s job correctly. Almighty God says: “God has ordained that a man will be an ordinary worker, and in this life, he will only be able to earn some basic wages to feed and clothe himself, but his parents insist on him becoming a celebrity, a wealthy person, a high official, planning and arranging things for his future before he reaches adulthood, paying various kinds of so-called prices, attempting to control his life and future. Isn’t that foolish? (It is.) … No parent wishes to see their children become beggars. But even so, they don’t have to insist that their children rise up in the world and become high officials or prominent people in the upper class of society. What’s good about being in the upper class of society? What’s good about rising up in the world? Those are quagmires, they are not good things. Is it a good thing to become a celebrity, a great figure, a superman, or a person with position and status? Life is the most comfortable as an ordinary person. What’s wrong with living a slightly poorer, harder, tiring life, with slightly worse food and clothes? At the very least, one thing is guaranteed, since you do not live among the social trends of society’s upper class, you will, at least, sin less and do fewer things to resist God. As an ordinary person, you won’t face such great or frequent temptation. Though your life will be a bit tougher, at least you won’t be tired in your spirit. Think about it, as a worker, all you need to worry about is making sure that you can eat three meals a day. It’s different when you’re an official. You have to fight, and you won’t know when the day will come that your position is no longer secure. And that won’t be the end of it, the people you’ve offended will seek you out to settle scores, and you will be punished by them. Life is very tiring for celebrities, great people, and wealthy people. Wealthy people are always afraid that they won’t be so wealthy in the future, and that they won’t be able to go on if that happens. Celebrities always worry that their halos will disappear, and they always want to protect their halos, fearing that they will be eliminated by this era and the trends. Their lives are so tiring! Parents never see through to these things, and always want to push their children into the heart of this struggle, sending them into these lion’s dens and quagmires” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (18)). God’s words made me understand that I should submit to God’s sovereignty and predestination regarding my son’s job. There is nothing bad about being a worker: You can clothe and feed yourself, and maintain a normal life. Isn’t this very good? However, I always wanted my son to take the path of being a government official, or become a military officer and enter a government department. I saw that I was worshiping power and status, and what I was doing was pushing my son into the abyss! On the surface, governmental agencies appear to be respectable. The people who come out all wear suits and leather shoes. They all look very prestigious. But in reality, it is the darkest place there is. Take the sons of my older sisters. Although they are the senior leaders in their employers, with much power and influence, they do not lead happy lives. All they talk about is how to use connections to protect their own status. They worry that one day they may lose their positions and be tormented by others. They truly are living on a knife edge. If you work in a government agency, you’ll likely be sucked into various kinds of power struggles, and you can’t escape even if you want to. Some give their lives to serve them, becoming the accomplices of Satan. Conscience, a moral bottom line, self-conduct, and human dignity all vanish. They do every bad thing there is, and do evil in many guises. Ultimately, they end up as a sacrifice to Satan. But I couldn’t see through this, and even pushed my son toward government agencies. I really was too foolish! The job that God arranges for people is sufficient to maintain a normal life. Just as God says: “Be content with food and clothing” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (20)). I had believed in God for many years but never lived out the reality of God’s words. My perspective on things had not changed very much, and my viewpoints on what to pursue were the same as those of worldly people. I worshiped power and pursued fame, gain, and status. I even pushed my son toward the abyss and the quagmire in order to realize my goal. If I had sent my son on a political career, he would have been dragged into conflicts, and ended up overtly and covertly struggling with others. All day long, he would have had to be on his guard against this person, or cautious of that person, deploying schemes and tricks. Who knows what sort of things he would have ended up doing! Pushing my son into that place to satisfy my pride and status—was that not harming my child? Although my son is now an ordinary worker, and he suffers a bit physically and is somewhat tired, his life is not as tiring as that of his cousins. Neither has he been sucked into intrigue and struggles. He doesn’t need to worry about losing position, and his life is relaxed and at ease. He can also support himself. Isn’t this great? God’s arrangements are always appropriate.

Later, I was seeking through God’s words. As parents, we should not constantly expect our children to stand out from the crowd. So what is the correct way to treat our children? I read these words of God: “Through dissecting the essence of parents’ expectations for their children, we can see that these expectations are selfish, that they go against humanity, and that they furthermore have nothing to do with the responsibilities of parents. When parents impose various expectations and requirements on their children, they are not fulfilling their responsibilities. So, what are their ‘responsibilities’? The most basic responsibilities that parents ought to fulfill are teaching their children to speak, instructing them to be kindhearted and to not be bad people, and guiding them in a positive direction. These are their most basic responsibilities” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (18)). “Parents just need to fulfill their responsibilities to their children, bring them up, and raise them into adults. They don’t need to raise their children into talented individuals. Is this easy to achieve? (It is.) This is an easy thing to do—you do not need to bear any responsibility for your children’s futures or lives, or develop any plans for them, or presuppose what kind of people they’ll become, what kind of lives they’ll have in the future, what social circles they’ll be found in later on, how their quality of life will be in this world in the future, or what kind of status they’ll have among people. You don’t have to presuppose or control these things; you just have to simply fulfill your responsibilities as a parent. It’s as easy as that” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (18)). From God’s words, I found a path of practice. A parent’s responsibilities to their children before they reach adulthood are to bring them up and raise them into adults, and guide them to walk on the correct path. Parents should let go of their adult children, and let them live their lives. When their children need help, parents can help them according to their own actual circumstances. Now, my son is an adult. He has his own thoughts and makes his own choices. I should not interfere with and orchestrate his life to satisfy my own desires. What I can do is provide suggestions and advice when he is in difficulty, and give him positive guidance. But what he chooses is up to him. In the future, questions like whether he will always remain a worker, what people and things he will come into contact with, and what kind of life he will lead have all been arranged by God. They are not within my control. What I can do is to submit, and fulfill the responsibilities of a parent. Now, I no longer worry and tire myself out over my son’s job, and I am not embarrassed and constrained by it anymore. I can quiet my heart and pour my heart into my duties. By living in this way, my heart feels at ease and relaxed.