I have never had a place in people’s hearts. When I truly search for people, they squeeze their eyes shut and ignore My actions, as if all I do is an attempt to please them, as a result of which they are always disgusted by My doings. It is as if I lack any self-awareness, as if I am always flaunting Myself before man, thereby infuriating them who are “upstanding and righteous.” Yet I endure even under such adverse conditions, and I continue My work. Thus, I say that I have tasted the sweet, sour, bitter, and pungent flavors of human experience, and I come in the wind and go with the rain; I say that I have experienced the persecution of family, have experienced the ups and downs of life, and have experienced the pain of parting from the body. However, when I came to earth, instead of welcoming Me because of the hardship I had suffered for them, people “politely” declined My good intentions. How could I not be pained by this? How could I not be aggrieved? Could it be that I became flesh only for it to all end like this? Why does man not love Me? Why has My love been repaid with man’s hate? Could it be that I am supposed to suffer in this way? People have shed tears of sympathy because of My hardship on earth, and people have railed at the injustice of My misfortune. Yet who has ever truly known My heart? Who can ever perceive My feelings? Man once had a profound affection toward Me, and he once longed for Me often in his dreams—but how could the people on earth understand My intentions in heaven? Though people once perceived My feelings of sorrow, who has ever had sympathy, as a fellow sufferer, for My afflictions? Could it be that the conscience of people on earth can move and change My sorrowful heart? Are the people on earth unable to tell Me of the unspeakable hardship within their hearts? The spirits and the Spirit are dependent upon one another, but because of the barriers of the flesh, people’s brains have “lost control.” I once reminded people to come before Me, but My calls did not cause people to fulfill what I asked; they merely looked into the sky, eyes filled with tears, as if they were bearing unspeakable hardship, as if there was something standing in their way. Thus, they clasped their hands and bowed down beneath heaven in supplication to Me. Because I am merciful, I bestow My blessings among man, and in the blink of an eye, the moment of My personal advent among man arrives—yet man has long since forgotten his oath to Heaven. Is this not the very rebelliousness of man? Why does man always suffer from “amnesia”? Have I stabbed him? Have I struck down his body? I tell man of the feelings within My heart; why does he always avoid Me? In people’s memories, it is as if they have lost something and it is nowhere to be found, but it is also as if their memories are inaccurate. Thus, people always suffer forgetfulness in their lives, and the days of the lives of all mankind are in disarray. Yet no one does anything to address this; people do nothing but trample and murder each other, which has led to a state of disastrous defeat today, and caused everything in the universe to collapse into the filthy water and the mire, with no chance of salvation.

When I arrived among all people, that was the very moment when people became loyal to Me. At this time, the great red dragon also began to lay its murderous hands on people. I accepted the “invitation,” and I came to “sit at the banquet table” among man, holding the “letter of invitation” given to Me by mankind. When they saw Me, people paid Me no heed, for I did not adorn Myself with opulent clothes and had brought only My “identity card” to sit at table with man. There was no expensive make-up upon My face, no crown upon My head, and I wore but a pair of ordinary home-made shoes upon My feet. What disappointed people most was the lack of lipstick upon My mouth. Furthermore, I did not speak polite words, and My tongue was not the pen of a ready writer; instead, each of My words pierced the innermost heart of man, which added somewhat to people’s “favorable” impression of My mouth. The aforementioned appearance was sufficient for people to give Me “special treatment,” and thus they treated Me as a simple bumpkin from the countryside who was without knowledge of the world, and no wisdom. Yet when everyone handed over “gifts of money,” people still did not regard Me as honorable, but merely came before Me without any respect, dragging their heels and with short tempers. When My hand reached out, they were immediately astonished, and they knelt down and let out great shouts. They collected up all My “monetary gifts.” Because the amount was great, they instantly thought Me a millionaire and tore the ragged clothes from My body without My consent, replacing them with new clothes—yet this did not make Me happy. Because I was not accustomed to such an easy life and despised this “first-class” treatment, because I was born of the holy house, and, it can be said, because I was born into “poverty,” I was not used to a life of luxury with people waiting on hand and foot. I wish only that people might be able to understand the feelings in My heart, that they might be able to endure a little hardship in order to accept the uncomfortable truths from My mouth. Because I have never been able to talk of theory, nor capable of using mankind’s secret ways of conducting oneself in society in order to engage with people, and because I am incapable of tailoring My words according to people’s countenance or their psychology, people have always loathed Me, have believed Me to be unworthy of interaction, and have said that I have a sharp tongue and always hurt people. Yet I have no choice: I once “studied” the psychology of man, once “emulated” man’s philosophy for worldly dealings, and once went to “language college” to learn the language of man, so that I might master the means by which people talk, and speak as befits their countenance—but although I expended much effort and visited many “experts,” it all came to nothing. Never has there been anything of humanity in Me. For all these years, My efforts have never yielded the slightest effect, and I have never had the slightest faculty in the language of man. Thus, the words of man that “hard work pays off” have “ricocheted” away from Me, and as a result, these words come to an end on earth. Without people realizing it, this aphorism has been disproved by the God from heaven, sufficiently verifying that such words are untenable. Thus I apologize to man, but there is nothing to be done—that is what I get for being so “stupid.” I am incapable of learning the language of man, of becoming proficient in philosophy for worldly dealings, of socializing with people. I only advise people to be forbearing, to suppress the anger within their hearts, to not hurt themselves because of Me. Who made us interact with each other? Who made us meet at this moment? Who made us share the same ideals?

My disposition runs throughout all of My words, yet people are incapable of grasping it in My words. They merely split hairs about what I say—what use is that? Can their notions about Me make them perfect? Could things on earth fulfill My will? I kept trying to teach people how to speak My words, but it was as if man was tongue-tied, and he was never able to learn how to speak My words as I would wish. I taught him mouth-to-mouth, yet he has never been able to learn. Only after this did I make a new discovery: How could the people on earth speak the words of heaven? Does this not violate the laws of nature? But, because of people’s zeal and inquisitiveness toward Me, I embarked on another part of work on man. I have never shamed man because of his deficiencies, but instead provide for man in accordance with what he lacks. It is only because of this that people have a somewhat favorable impression of Me, and I use this opportunity to gather people together once again, that they might enjoy another part of My riches. At this moment, people are once more immersed in happiness, cheers and laughter drifting around the many-hued clouds in the sky. I open up man’s heart, and man immediately has new vitality, and he is unwilling to hide from Me anymore, for he has sampled the sweet taste of honey, and so he brings out all of his junk to be exchanged—as if I have become a garbage collection point, or a waste management station. Thus, after seeing the “advertisements” that have been posted, people come before Me and take part eagerly, for they seem to think they can acquire a few “souvenirs,” so they all send Me “letters,” that they might partake in the events I have set out. At this moment they are not fearful of losses, because the “capital” involved in these activities is not great, and so they dare to risk participation. If there were no souvenirs to be gained from taking part, people would leave the arena and ask for their money back, and they would also work out the “interest” I owed them. It is because today’s living standards have increased, reaching a “modest level of prosperity” and achieving “modernization,” with the “senior official” personally “going to the countryside” to arrange work, that people’s faith has immediately multiplied many times—and because their “constitution” is becoming better and better, they look upon Me with admiration, and are willing to engage with Me in order to gain My trust.

April 11, 1992