By Chang Min, China

In December of 2022, by God’s grace, I took on the duty of leadership, in which I was mainly supervising the watering work. A year later, I happened to see a report letter. The letter had been written by a waterer named Lu Xiao and was reporting me for not doing actual work. I was taken back, and wondered, “Why is she reporting me all of a sudden?” The report letter mentioned that I didn’t resolve problems in a detailed way, that I didn’t follow through all the way when implementing work, and among other things, that I didn’t grasp or resolve the states or difficulties of the waterers in good time. The report also listed many specific details of my behavior. At this time, I had no understanding of myself and felt somewhat resistant, “How can you have such high expectations of me? How could I not have any shortcomings? You’ve written about so many of my problems!” I felt wronged, and I was in a despondent state, but then I thought, “There must be God’s intention behind this report letter, as God never does anything without purpose. Being exposed by this report could be seen as God’s judgment and chastisement, and there must be a lesson for me to learn.” With this thought, I felt a little more at peace. Eventually, after verifying the report, the church, based on my consistent behavior, found that I was doing my duty in a perfunctory way and not doing actual work, and so they dismissed me. The moment I lost my duty, I felt a sudden emptiness in my heart. It felt as if my world had flipped on its head, and I didn’t know what to do.

After returning home, I found myself filled with unease, and I thought to myself, “How humiliating to have been reported and dismissed for not doing actual work in my leadership duty! On top of that, I’ve disrupted and disturbed the church’s work. These are all truly evil deeds. I’ll never take on a leadership duty again. I’ll just do whatever duty I can in the church. This’ll be safer, I won’t lose face, and I won’t commit any serious transgressions.” After that, I just skimmed through God’s words and listened to hymns each day. My heart couldn’t settle down, and without a duty to do, I felt empty inside, that my heart was far from God, and that I was living each day like a walking corpse. I even felt like life had no meaning. At this point, I realized how terrifying it was for my heart to be far from God, so I prayed to God, “God, I am so negative right now, and my heart is so far from You. I know my state is wrong; please guide me out of this negative state.” That evening, I listened to a hymn of God’s words entitled “What Saddens God Most of All”: “The efforts I have devoted to man prove My essence of love for man, and man’s every action before Me proves his essence of loathing toward the truth and opposition to Me. At all times, I am concerned for all who followed Me, yet at no time are those who follow Me able to accept My words; they are not even able to accept My suggestions. This is what saddens Me most of all. No one has ever been able to understand Me and nor, moreover, has anyone ever been able to accept Me, even though My attitude is sincere, and My words are gentle” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. You Ought to Consider Your Deeds). God’s warm words gradually softened my hardened heart. God has paid the ultimate price to save us. He continually fellowships all aspects of the truth in detail, guiding us. When God fellowships the truth, He uses examples and metaphors, fearing that we might not understand, and He hopes that we can understand the truth and enter into reality as quickly as possible. God’s love for us is immense. No matter what situations God orchestrates for me, His intentions are always good, and these things are to make me understand myself and progress in life. I did not consider God’s intentions, and I was doing my duty in a perfunctory way, to the point of it being an absolute shambles. I didn’t reflect on or understand myself, and I was unwilling to strive upward as I felt I had lost face after being reported and dismissed. I wallowed in rebellious emotions and I opposed God. How could this not cause God heartache? Having been dismissed, I remained intransigent and rebellious, and I didn’t reflect on myself. By doing this, was I not rejecting God’s salvation? I was being utterly unreasonable! Afterward, I quieted my heart and reflected on myself. When I first became a leader, I knew nothing, but I was full of faith, and I wanted to do the watering work well. I saw that there were few waterers, that more people needed to be cultivated to become waterers, that some waterers weren’t doing actual work and needed reassignment, and that some waterers were in poor states and needed fellowship and help. I actively put effort into addressing these issues. Over time, I saw the heavy daily workload and all the things needing attention, so I felt that there was never enough time. I thought, “Working like this every day is too exhausting, and there are always endless problems to deal with. Is my body going to be able to hold out if things carry on like this?” Gradually, I stopped being as earnest and diligent in my work as I had been at the beginning. When the upper leaders asked about the details of the watering work, such as to what extent the newcomers had been watered, what difficulties and problems they faced, how many newcomers had officially joined the church, and how many newcomers still didn’t fully understand the truth of God’s work, I’d think, “How much effort will it take to understand all these details? The situation in each church is different, and it’ll be exhausting and troublesome to come to grips with everything.” So, I didn’t look into the details, and I just briefly summarized the situation and reported this to the upper leaders. Regarding things such as the deficiencies there were in the waterers at each church, how to correct deviations in watering the newcomers, and what the causes were for newcomers gathering irregularly, I only had an understanding of the broad framework. I’d only address obvious issues, but I didn’t look into the true reasons for the slow progress in the watering work in detail. I occasionally asked about the states of the waterers at each church, but I didn’t grasp the details, and I’d just respond in a perfunctory way when the leaders inquired about the watering work. After the leaders saw this, they pruned me for my perfunctory attitude, and they even fellowshipped God’s words exposing that false leaders act perfunctorily and are untrustworthy. I felt upset after hearing this, and I said I would turn things around, but afterward, my attitude toward my duty remained the same. Because I didn’t approach my duty earnestly and instead did it perfunctorily, the deviations and problems in the watering work couldn’t be corrected, more and more newcomers stopped attending gatherings, and eventually, I was reported and dismissed. I saw that I was unwilling to suffer or pay a price and heeding my flesh in my duty, that I had been irresponsible toward the watering work and delayed the life growth of newcomers, and that I had caused significant harm to the work. In my heart, I silently prayed to God, “God, my attitude toward my duty disgusts You. My being reported and dismissed is Your righteousness, and I pray that You guide me to understand my issues and to attain true repentance.”

After praying, I remembered a passage of God’s words that a brother and sister I’d been cooperating with had read to me while I was going through my dismissal, so I found it and read it. Almighty God says: “Because false leaders do not learn about the progress of the work, and because they are incapable of promptly identifying—much less solving—problems that arise in it, this often leads to repeated delays. In certain work, because people have no grasp of the principles and there is no one suitable to be responsible for it or preside over it, those carrying out the work are often in a state of negativity, passivity, and waiting, which severely affects the progress of the work. If the leaders had fulfilled their responsibilities—if they had presided over the work, pushed it forward, supervised it, and found someone who understands that field to guide the work, then the work would have progressed faster rather than suffering repeated delays. For leaders, then, it is vital to understand and grasp the status of the work. Of course, it is also very necessary for leaders to understand and grasp how the work is progressing, as progress relates to the efficiency of the work and the results it’s supposed to achieve. If leaders and workers do not have a grasp on how the church’s work is progressing, and they do not follow up on or supervise things, then the progress of the church’s work is bound to be slow. … False leaders are careless and slapdash in their work, they have no sense of responsibility, they don’t solve problems when they arise, and no matter what work they’re doing, they only skim the surface of it and approach it perfunctorily; they just speak high-sounding words, spout doctrines and empty talk, and go through the motions in their work. In general, this is the state of how false leaders do work. Although, in comparison to antichrists, false leaders do nothing overtly evil and are not deliberately doing evil, when you look at the effectiveness of their work, it is fair to characterize them as being perfunctory, as not bearing a burden, as being irresponsible and having no loyalty toward their work” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (4)). God says that false leaders don’t understand or grasp the progress of the work, that they merely shout slogans and go through the motions, and that this often delays and harms the work. God requires leaders and workers to take on the roles of directing, advancing, and supervising the work, and that they must promptly resolve any difficulties or holdups in the work so that the work can progress effectively. This is what it means to fulfill the responsibility of a leader and worker. I reflected on my attitude toward my duty, and I saw that I hadn’t had any sense of burden for the life entry of the newcomers, and that I hadn’t fulfilled my responsibilities in the watering work. When the upper leaders followed up on and looked into how the watering work was going, I was afraid of inconvenience, and I didn’t handle things diligently, so I’d just give unconsidered replies. When the leaders asked for further details, I was afraid of putting in mental effort, and I’d simply write a letter to go through the motions of looking into things without caring whether my actions would be effective or not. The leaders noticed that I was doing my duty in a perfunctory way and gave me reminders and help, but I’d only feel upset for a moment and not take it to heart afterward, and I’d continue to handle the work in a perfunctory manner. On the surface, it seemed like I was busy doing my duty, but in reality, I was just doing superficial work. I was always avoiding putting in mental effort, and I never really did the key essential work. As a result, the waterers’ problems were never solved, the results of the watering work were poor, and many newcomers couldn’t attend gatherings regularly and were at risk of falling away at any time. I read God’s words: “Say there is a job that could be completed in one month by one person. If it takes six months to do this job, do the expenditures of the remaining five months not constitute a loss? Let Me give an example about preaching the gospel. Say that a person is willing to investigate the true way and could probably be won over in just one month, after which they would enter the church and continue to receive watering and provision, and within six months they could establish a foundation. But if the attitude the person preaching the gospel takes toward this matter is one of disregard and perfunctoriness, and the leaders and workers also ignore their responsibilities, and it ends up taking half a year to win that person over, will this half a year not constitute a loss to their life? If they encounter the great disasters and they have not yet laid down a foundation on the true way, they will be in danger, and will those people not have failed them then? Such a loss cannot be measured with money or material things. If that person’s understanding of the truth is held up for half a year, and they are delayed in establishing a foundation and in starting to do their duty for half a year, who will take responsibility for this? Can the leaders and workers afford to take responsibility for this? No one can afford to bear the responsibility for holding up someone’s life” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (4)). Whether it’s watering newcomers or preaching the gospel, both of these things involve people’s life entry. Not only did I fail to support the newcomers, but I also caused more newcomers to stop attending gatherings due to my failure to do actual work, and for their lives to be harmed. Such a great responsibility was too much for me to bear, and at this point, I realized the damage caused by my failure to do actual work was enormous. Reflecting on my years of faith in God, I saw that I’d enjoyed God’s care, protection, watering, and nourishment, and that I should have fulfilled my duty and repaid God’s love, but I’d treated my duty so neglectfully, and I’d only concerned myself with my enjoyment of physical comfort. In doing my duty in this way, I was essentially trying to fool and trick God. This attitude of mine toward my duty had deeply grieved God’s heart, and I truly had no humanity. These transgressions of mine caused by heeding my flesh and acting in a perfunctory way were an everlasting stain!

Later, I read God’s words: “False leaders do not do real work, but they know how to act like an official. What is the first thing they do once they become a leader? It is to buy people’s favor. They take the approach of ‘New officials are eager to impress’: First they do a few things to curry favor with people and handle a few things that improve everybody’s day-to-day welfare. They first try to make a good impression on people, to show everyone that they are in tune with the masses, so that everyone praises them and says, ‘This leader acts like a parent toward us!’ Then they officially take over. They feel that they have popular support and that their position has been secured; then they begin to enjoy the benefits of status, as though they were their proper due. Their mottos are, ‘Life is all about eating well and dressing nice,’ ‘Life is short, so enjoy it while you can,’ and ‘Drink today’s wine today, and worry about tomorrow, tomorrow.’ They enjoy each day as it comes, they have fun while they can, and they give no thought to the future, much less do they consider what responsibilities a leader should fulfill and what duties they should do. They preach a few words and doctrines and do a few tasks for appearance’s sake as a matter of routine—they do not do any real work. They are not unearthing real problems in the church and completely solving them, so what is the point in them doing such superficial tasks? Is this not deceptive? Can important tasks be entrusted to this kind of false leader? Are they in line with principles and conditions of God’s house for selecting leaders and workers? (No.) These people don’t have any conscience or reason, they are devoid of any sense of responsibility, and yet they still wish to hold some official position, to be a leader, in the church—why are they so shameless? For some people who have a sense of responsibility, if they are of poor caliber, they cannot be leaders—and that’s to say nothing of useless people who have no sense of responsibility at all; they are even less qualified to be leaders. Just how lazy are such gluttonous and indolent false leaders? Even when they discover an issue, and they are aware that this is an issue, they don’t take it seriously and pay it no mind. They are so irresponsible! Though they are good talkers and seem to have a little caliber, they can’t solve various problems in the church’s work, leading to the work grinding to a standstill; the problems keep piling up, but these leaders do not concern themselves with them, and insist on carrying out a few superficial tasks as a matter of routine. And what is the end result? Do they not make a mess of church work, do they not make a hash of it? Do they not cause chaos and a lack of unity in the church? This is the inevitable outcome” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (8)). “Man’s flesh is like the snake: Its substance is to harm their lives—and when it completely gets its own way, your life becomes forfeit. The flesh belongs to Satan. Within it are extravagant desires, it thinks only for itself, it wants to enjoy comfort and revel in leisure, wallowing in sloth and idleness, and having satisfied it to a certain point you will ultimately be eaten up by it. Which is to say, if you satisfy it this time, next time it will come asking for more. It always has extravagant desires and new demands, and takes advantage of your pandering to the flesh to make you cherish it even more and live among its comforts—and if you do not overcome it, you will ultimately ruin yourself” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Only Loving God Is Truly Believing in God). I saw that God exposes the survival views of false leaders, such as “Life is all about eating well and dressing nice,” “Life is short, so enjoy it while you can,” and “Drink today’s wine today, and worry about tomorrow, tomorrow.” Living by these erroneous survival views, they pursue fleshly enjoyment, believing that indulging the flesh means one’s life is not lived in vain. I lived by these survival views, acting as a leader while heeding the flesh, indulging in comfort, going through the motions in the watering work, and ultimately messing up the work. The life entry of newcomers was harmed, and I was reported and dismissed. These were all consequences of my failure to do actual work. In living by survival views instilled by Satan, in the end, I would only ruin my opportunity to do my duty and be saved. This truly was Satan’s malicious intention! Now God is expressing the truth and working to save people, and the great red dragon is doing everything it can to capture God’s chosen people, spreading all kinds of baseless rumors and fallacies to keep people from coming before God. As a church leader, I failed to do the watering work well during this critical time, preventing newcomers from understanding the truth and establishing a foundation upon the true way as quickly as possible. Instead, I was afraid of putting in mental effort and ended up handling the work in a perfunctory way, delaying the watering work. I ended up doing exactly what the great red dragon wanted to do but could not accomplish. I created disruptions and disturbances within the church, becoming a servant and accomplice of the great red dragon. This really pained God the most. Looking back now, my being reported and dismissed was God’s righteous disposition coming upon me. It was God’s reminder and warning to me, and it was also God giving me the opportunity to repent. I had to seriously reflect and change my attitude toward my duty.

After this, I sought a path of practice from God’s words. I read God’s words: “God does not want people to turn the various principles of practice into empty theories, only talking about them but not putting them into practice. Instead, He hopes that people can, in a very firm and steady manner, turn these truth principles into a part of their life, and bring God’s words into their real lives. Take doing a duty, for example—what standard does God require of people in this regard? It is for them to conduct themselves in a down-to-earth manner and according to their proper station. That is, in doing your duty, you must be down-to-earth, you must not be perfunctory or cursory, you must not go through the motions, or perform it for others to see, and you also must not show off; of course, what’s even more important is that you must act according to the truth principles. You should act in the way that God tells you to, and you should refrain from doing the things that God tells you not to do. If you cannot completely refrain from doing those things, then start with doing them less, rebel against your own selfish desires and your own preferences, and gradually come to refrain from doing them entirely—isn’t this easy to put into practice? (Yes.) In the process of pursuing salvation, you should resolve and let go of the various corrupt dispositions exposed by God’s words. Of course, letting go of these corrupt dispositions is not the ultimate goal. The ultimate goal is, on the precondition of letting go of these corrupt dispositions, to accept God’s words and God’s requirements. Accepting them is not for the sake of changing your mood, or for the sake of enabling you to live with dignity, it is for the sake of casting off your corrupt dispositions. This is the ultimate goal, as you can only attain salvation after you have cast off your corrupt dispositions” (The Word, Vol. 7. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (3)). God requires us to treat our duties with sincerity and to be responsible and diligent in our work. When we reveal the satanic disposition of indulging in comfort while doing our duties, we must rebel against the flesh, practice the truth, and fulfill our duties in a responsible and grounded way. Realizing this, I made a resolution to God that from then on, no matter what duty the church arranged for me, I would not heed my flesh anymore. I had to learn to rebel against my flesh and do actual work according to God’s requirements.

In February 2024, the church arranged for me to vet sermons. I was very excited, because at last, I could do my duty again. The workload was quite heavy, and my schedule was packed every day, and since I didn’t grasp the principles, there were some issues I couldn’t fully understand, which meant I had to put in more time and energy. One time, when I was vetting sermons, there was one sermon I didn’t fully understand, so I wanted to review it again, but then I thought, “It’s too much trouble to review it again, maybe I should just leave it as is.” I didn’t want to put any more effort into it, and I just thought, “Either way, my partner will look at it too.” At this moment, I realized that my attitude toward my duty was wrong, and that I wanted to be perfunctory again. This was a problem with my nature, and if I went on without resolving it, it would delay the work in the long run. So, I prayed to God, asking Him to guide me to do my duty diligently and to rebel against my flesh. After praying, I reviewed the sermon again, and I found two issues that were indeed problematic, so I quickly marked them, and I thought, “Good thing I reviewed it again, otherwise, I’d have missed these problems.” Afterward, I read God’s words: “How you perform your duty is crucial, and people should take it seriously and conscientiously. Because performing your duty is directly connected to your life entry and entry into the truth realities, as well as big issues like your salvation and being perfected, you must treat the performance of your duty as the first and foremost task when believing in God. You cannot be muddleheaded about it” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. What Is the Adequate Performance of Duty?). God requires us to treat our duties earnestly, and that when we are faced with problems, we shouldn’t deal with them perfunctorily or just go through the motions. Instead, we should follow God’s requirements and do things according to the principles. Only then can we do our duties in a way that is in accordance with God’s intentions. Later, when I found myself indulging in comfort and being perfunctory in my duties again, I quickly and consciously made amends and rebelled against myself.

Now, my attitude toward my duties has shifted a bit, and I have progressed in my life somewhat. All of this is the result of the judgment and chastisement of God’s words. If it weren’t for my being reported and dismissed this time, I would still be treating my duties neglectfully and perfunctorily. If things had carried on this way, there’s no knowing how much I’d have damaged the church’s work, and if I had committed too many transgressions and provoked God’s disposition, I’d have ended up being spurned and eliminated by God. Thank God for orchestrating such a situation for me, for keeping me from continuing to do evil, and for giving me the opportunity to know myself, reflect, and repent. After experiencing this, I came to see that everything God does is good, and that it is all for the purpose of saving and transforming me. I truly thank God from the bottom of my heart!